If you moved your dc from state to private what swung it in the end and when did you do it?

[mrsshackleton]

DD1 has just done a term in reception but we're wondering about moving her to a private school (not sure which exactly, I'd have to seriously start investigating availability of places etc after Christmas)

I like the school she's at a lot, it has a very vibrant ethos and excellent, caring teachers, However, it is slightly chaotic, overcrowded environment, which works for the more robust children but possibly not for dd1. She's very shy, quite emotionally immature and I have a feeling she'd be happier in a smaller environment like the nursery where she was before.

It's a complicated dilemma involving among other things money, the school's proximity, the fact I think the much more extrovert dd2 would thrive at the school when her time comes in two years.

Anyway, I'd be interested in hearing others' experiences

we have just resisted doing this. the deciding factor was plain and simply money - we couldn't do the fees AND the childcare we would need. Private schools have eight week summer holidays and two week half terms. If you need to work f/t to pay for the fees (and I don't know if you do), the length of school holidays in the private sector are a killer - financially and practically.

Thanks, wheels

Why were you tempted?

I agree the holidays are a definite downside. I am self employed and could probably manage the holiday childcare, but it would impact on my earnings - and of course I will need to be earning plenty if we go ahead with this.

Very tricky

I am in completely the same situation with dd (age 5) who is now in year 1.

She is at one of the 'outstanding' primary schools in our city. There are 3 classes of 30 kids and she just always seems a little bit lost. She is a bit shy and likes to play quietly, not running around etc. In the classroom the teacher tells me she doesn't join in with group discussions as she is intimidated.

We are moving abroad soon and I decided instead of sending her to the excellent local school where we are moving to I am going to send her to the 'best' private school in the province. The reason is is that there are only 2 classes of 12 in each year in the primary school and I will be really interested to see if it helps her blossom more.

She has never been unhappy at the school she is at, but she doesn't seem happy there either.

Hi Mrs - the private one had a strong academic record and was single sex - both of which we really wanted. And to move dc now would be relatively painless emotionally as no real friendships have been made in first term of reception.
But we did our sums, factoring in an eight per cent rise in fees year on year and all the extras (childcare/trips/uniform/school run) and realised we would be on the brink financially. Friends counselled us that we would, realistically, need to commit to 'private' up to dc being 18. Given the financial strain on our family, and the uncertain economic climate, we decided to postpone until dc at least 7, maybe 11.

BTW, my friend just moved her gentle sensitive DS out of her local C of E really fantastic school as he just seemed to be exhausted by the chaos.

She moved him to a school outside of the town she lives in. She now has a 30min school run to a village school which is tiny, with year one and reception in the same class (of 20). He is much happier.

It is like a cheap private education! THe only downside is that the school run is arduous and she will have to put her thoughts of going back to work on hold.

Echo the observation about the school hols, particularly if you are likely to send DD2 to the primary, as it is not just the length of the hols, but also the non-overlapping-ness DS1 is in a independent school that, for example, breaks up for the summer 30 June so while that might be a good way to go on summer hols cheaper, DS2 in a state primary breaks up around 20 July . DS1 has 2 weeks in Oct, to DS2 one week. Usually the Feb hols co-incide, but DS2 has a week @ Whitsun, while DS1 is not only @ school during that time, but doing exams... Easter is of course totally unpredicable, and tehy overlpped last year for 5 days only.
So even tho DS2 would have a good chance of getting into the excellent state grammar for secondary, he will have to go Indie or the co-ordination of work & hols will continue to be a nightmare...

If I sent dd1 private I'd send dd2 as well from day one. It would just be too much of a headache to have them in different schools for holidays and pick ups (not to mention I'd feel guilty about paying for one and not the other). But as I said, the problem is I think dd2 would fit in brilliantly at the local primary. Gah, why couldn't they have been born the other way round?

We moved DD in year 4.The old school was fab to start with and she loved her friends but two years of poor teachers, no control and a lacklustre new head was driving me potty.During the holidays she was a bright interested child but within weeks of returning to school,she would change, I used to collect her and ask What did you do today? The answer was always nothing,she never wanted to get up in the mornings and slumped in the evenings.
The private school is WONDERFUL dd comes home bursting with news-on a voluntary basis!and looks forward to school.

It has been hard for her to be away from good friends[and I do feel guilty]but she has made new friends easily and I make a massive effort to keep her in touch with all the old girls[twelve are going skating with her on there last day]

My advice would be go with your gut feeling.
As your dd is only in Reception the wrench should not be too great.Most private schools around here offer a trial day,which for my dd was great-she loved it,and that made the decision easy.I felt sick all that day tho....
Good Luck it's a big decision.

I should point out for tha sake of fairness that I love my DCs indie school. It is fabulous.

But...independent school is very expensive and as has been said the school holidays are extremely long.
Also there is a lot of stuff that parents are asked to attend ( drama, music, a lot of sport). It may not bother your DCs if you can't but if they are the type that like you there, then factor that in big time.

Because I work from home, I pretty much always can attend stuff, great advantage of my job balanced out by the fact I can't predict earnings over next few years. The state school asks us to attend something pretty much every other day, anyway.

I am 100 per cent certain dds will end up in the private system at some point, I just didn't want to put them in from the start, mainly because the local school is very close and I think both dds and I really benefit from not having to rush in the mornings - plus it's easy for me to go in and out all the time to attend concerts etc.

I just can't decide if I'm being pfb. The teachers at her school now have been very responsive to every issue I've raised about dd1's confidence, I think they're brilliant. At the same time, however, they're very hard pressed. The school is overcrowded because it's had to run an extra class this year and 90 children are in a space meant for 60. . But then going to school is partly about learning to be a small fish in a big pond.

We have just accepted places for DCs at an independent school. They will start in September when Ds1 is Y3 and DS2 is Y1.

We're moving DS1 because having looked at secondary schools locally and talked to the head, it seemed inevitable we would have to go private when he leaves primary. The move should be smoother at Y3 (we hope) and also give us a better choice of schools, given that so many boys' private schools have entry at age 13 rather than 11. Not so much of an issue for girls.

We're moving DS2 partly because of the holiday issues MrsGuy mentions, partly because of school run logistics and partly because the private school was very clear that there would certainly be a place for DS1 if his little brother came too . If they were to go to the private school in stages there might be a place, they would do their best but no promises etc etc.

There are differences in the private sector and I think you need to be alive to that. One is the ability to select whoever they like to get a place, as you can see from our experience. Remember teachers don't need to be qualified to, erm, teach in the private sector. When DS1 went for his assessment a teacher for another class was sick so the Y2 teacher when to cover that class, and Y1 and Y2 played lego together. In the state sector they'd get a supply teacher in....

And we will miss being able to walk to school and the choice of shops for uniform. It's goodbye to showing up in a red polo shirt, any shirt as long as it's clean, and hello to overpriced blazers from one shop and one shop only specified by the school.

MrsGuy - was your ds1 originally in a state primary and why did you move him, given logistics?

Fridayschild, it sounds like you're a bit ambivalent about this. Was it all about the transition to secondary or did you have misgivings about the state primary?

Thanks everyone

We moved our DS from state primary ("outstanding" school according to Ofsted, 90 kids in each year) to an independent primary school halfway through the summer term of Year R.

Purely and simply, the outstanding state primary did not cater to DS' needs adequately - he needs more one-on-one attention, and smaller classes, which he now has, and is thriving. He was being swallowed up in the larger school. He is much happier, confident and smiley now, and he is also learning to read and write which wasn't happening in the state school as the teacher was too busy to spend enough time with each child, and was also off sick every couple of weeks at random, but it always seemed to be on Fridays!

Like mrsShackleton, my second child would probably have thrived in the large state school, but for logistical reasons I will also send her to the private school when her turn comes. I actually would have no problem at all with sending one child to a state school and one to a private (day) school, if I was certain that each school suited each child individually, but it's the logistics of the school run etc that makes it impossible.

We are very lucky that my DH is a teacher at a private secondary school, so his holidays mainly coincide with DS' ... I will be going back to work at some point before DD starts school, and yes, I will be working purely to pay for the children's school fees, and yes, I think it is money that's extremely well spent. I don't begrudge it at all. I'm happy to give up luxuries such as annual holidays in order to give our kids a decent education - and by "decent" I mean an enjoyable one, not one that is defined solely by academic achievment.

DH and I both went to private school - junior and senior. DH is ambivalent about our kids going private, but now that DS attends this particular school I would do absolutely anything to ensure that both my kids could stay there - including moving to a smaller house etc if necessary.

But - it depends on your child! As I've said, I think DD would thrive at the bigger school. There was certainly no difference in the calibre of the teachers - it was the class sizes that made the difference.

With us it's the transition to secondary which is the issue. However because all the chattering classes have similar concerns round here, that in turn creates some issues in the final years of the primary - a lot of the like-minded parents have moved their children to prep schools or have left London. The primary has been fantastic for DS1 who has really started to blossom there since he turned 6. I'd be very happy to leave him there for another couple of years. DS2 is a different sort of child, but also having a splendid time there at the moment.

I don't think the private sector is perfect, or the cure for all the issues of the state sector, and I wanted to make that point in my mail. However I do think it's the better option for the DCs in the long run.

I think it depends on the school. A friend's child goes to a local private school and can be there from 8am - 5pm (wrap-around childcare) at no extra cost.

My DC is in a very good (Ofsted) state school but as a "summer-born" has only been going in for mornings all this term , and me running around like a loon to get to all the pick ups.

Details like these may be worth looking into, and not all private schools have two week half terms (but I think they do all have the longer summer holidays).

BTW, another thing worth thinking about is that A LOT of smaller private schools are going under with the financial situation (happened to DP's place of work) and this almost never happens to a state school. Where would you be if you had a term's notice to find another school?

Good luck, whatever school you choose...

OP - DD is at a state primary in year one, ds, is in private prep in Reception. I AGONISE on a daily basis about whether I have made the right decision. But, ds is a little, summer born boy and he would have been lost in a class of 30 and a year of 60. DD is a little thing also, but has found her niche and is happy at the good infant school she goes to. We will move her at the end of this year or at the end of y2, but this is already a worry, as she wants to go on to the school that all her peers go to, not to the prep her brother goes to.

It is a bit of a nightmare having two at different schools, and I feel sad that they can't hang out in the playground together, but that time will come. These last few weeks with so much to remember I have suffered brain freeze, but I'm sure I'll get over it.

Thanks everyone, esp Fridayschild for coming back, Your posts very clearly show the pros and cons of both sides - I too dread the idea of driving to school, poncey uniform lists, long holidays and loss of conviviality that comes with attending the local school. I like the other mums and will feel a bit of a traitor bailing out on them.

Otoh, I still sense dd1 will get a lot more confidence from being in smaller classes and a slightly more focused atmosphere. Of course having gone through all this she seems very happy in her last week of term and much more confident than she's been for ages. I feel very lucky we can (just) afford to move her and very for the many who don't have that option

just going through the same dilemma at the moment ... dd has been offered a place at a local private primary for y3 in September - she went for an assessment day and loved it, it has a very good reputation and all the parents I've spoken to have recommended it heartily

however ... I'm feeling ambivalent ... the state primary she's at has just had a fairly awful OFSTED (dropped from outstanding to satisfactory in 2 years) and while I know OFSTED isn't the be-all-and-end-all (and the original 'outstanding' grade was decidedly generous), it doesn't have the 'oomph' about it that dd needs. She's very bright, but not being particularly challenged, there's very little music and drama and what there is is done in a very half-hearted fashion. Sport is determinedly inclusive, so the teams get picked at random, which means they always get trounced whenever they play against other schools. All of this makes DH v keen to move her

But I'm worrying about moving her out of the community and away from her local friends .. and I suspect I will be shunned by the other mums for being a traitor .... ho hum, still don't know what to do ... so no advice, I'm afraid, just sympathy

Re the point about the other mums, I had real worries about this. But one lovely friend of mine said that if anyone is funny about it, then that's their problem - your proper friends on the school run may raise an eyebrow, but in the end, will be fine. (too many commas alert )

People have certainly raised an eyebrow, at both schools - but the people who I want to be friends with, or are already, understand and are fine. I'm hoping its this straightforward when I come to move dd at the end of this year or next.

Message for Mimsmum, we moved our boys in years 3 and 4 for exactly the same reasons that you've given and have been really pleased with the new school.

Aftr a tricky settling in period they have made lots of new friends but also kept the best of their old ones from the local school, so really have the best of both worlds.

I think the trick with not alienating mums at the old school is to identify areas where it didn't suit your individual child but may well be fine for theirs, rather than attacking the whole school.

Now they're in years 5 & 6 we have to decide whether to go back into the state sector or stick with private.....

i have one in each - dd was obviously preppy, ds not so - both enjoy school but the class sizes at ds' infants does concern me - watching this thread

I'm a bit late with this additon, sorry. We moved our DS at the end of Y2, he is now in Y5.

Reasons were varied, his old Primary was rated "Outstanding" but there was no competitive sport, in fact, no competitive anything. PE lessons were Yoga or Country Dancing! He was never pushed to try hard there - at one parents evening, when I complained about his awful spelling, his very drippy teacher said "Oh we dont worry about spelling when they're 7, we dont want them to be stressed".

So we moved him to a smallish local pre-prep/prep which we had long admired, and he is thriving, so much so that I feel I dont need to push him at home any longer.

But I have lost all my old friends from his previous school, except 1. I dont feel that I have changed, but their attitude certainly did. They took it as a personal insult that I wanted something different for my child. But you live and learn, they clearly didnt like me very much to begin with did they?

Best decision we have made I have to say.

Moved the DSs from their 'Outstanding Ofsted' Infant school when DS1 was about to go to Juniors (Year 3) and DS2 had just completed YR.
For different, but equally important reasons:

DS1 - Highly academic & was bored and unchallenged in class of 30. I think it was when I heard he was being asked to hear some of the younger members of his class read that I realised that we were going to move him. Oh, and he was also getting bullied/teased by the Alpha Male/football thickos....

DS2 - youngest, Aug born child was simply 'lost' in a class of 30, and hated the noise/ volume of children/ bustle of it all. Don't think he learned anything in YR.

2+ years on, and I've never doubted it was the best decision we ever made.