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Original poster

Flippant/throw away remark by a teacher. WWYD?

23 replies

momijigari · 04/12/2009 21:15

I was at an open day at DD's school today. (DD is 8, I also have a 5 yr old ds with special needs in the same school, no diagnosis, ASD traits.)

DD was showing me her story writing, she is imaginative, very good at reading, but reluctant to write extensively/enough to satisfy the teacher.

The teacher showed me some writing DD had done for a test, to remark on how lovely it was. Then the teacher shooed dd away so she could have a semi private word with me (lots of children sitting around doing work etc).

The teacher started commenting on how hard it is to get dd to write, then said, "I think she has a little bit of what her brother has."

I feel a bit flummoxed by this statement, dd is bright and cheerful, makes friends easily.

If DD is showing signs of SN, is this the way to bring it to my attention?

How could any SN be missed during her time at primary and nursery so far?

I am quite angry at the teacher, feel like it maybe a bit of a cop out, but if dd has any difficulties I would want to help her... sigh.
Advice/comments please.

OP posts:

cornsilkwearscorsets · 04/12/2009 21:26

You know your dd best. If you think she hasn't got ASD then ignore the teacher. I think some teachers look for stuff.

mussyhillmum · 04/12/2009 21:26

If my DS's class (Y3) is anything to go by, I would say a reluctance to write anything extensive is VERY normal at this age. There are a lot of very good readers ( at least 2 have been assessed as level 4 at the end of year 2) in DS's class but few of these are keen to write more than a few sentences. I am shocked by your DD's teacher's reference to your DS - not a very professional way to express concern about your daughter's writing imo. Perhaps you could have a word with her re her concerns about your DD's writing and what strategies she intends to implement to extend her written work.

trickerg · 04/12/2009 22:03

You've probably misunderstood. Why don't you just ask the teacher for clarification, rather than people on MN?

Insider333 · 04/12/2009 22:04

I'm a teacher. What your daughter's teacher said was stupid and tactless! But then, that is what most teacher's are. Do not worry... most children at most ages do not want to write lots... they find it boring and "It makes my hand hurt.", especially if they're trying to engrave the paper with a pencil, which is unsuitable for writing anyway, but they are cheap. I'm hazarding a guess here, but is your daughter's teacher a young female?

trickerg · 04/12/2009 22:12

I wonder why insider 333 has to start his/her comments (all over MN) with 'I'm a teacher'. (And, looking at one of his/her comments on another thread - whoever called numeracy/maths 'arithmetic' over the last 20-30 years?) Weird.

Insider333, two of our best teachers at school are young females. Energetic, creative, committed, friendly, hardworking, good with children/parents. They are BRILLIANT.

bosch · 04/12/2009 22:21

Sorry if this is a bit left field (and not looking to pick a fight at all) but when my nephew was diagnosed autistic, I talked with my sisters about the extent to which other men in our family displayed autistic spectrum behaviour.

Maybe comment by teacher was as unsophisticated as that - not really an appropriate environment to raise the topic and not clear what evidence.

Completely support the suggestion that 8 yr olds are not all inclined to write essays if they can get away with less.

ReneRusso · 04/12/2009 22:24

My advice is to book a meeting with this teacher and ask for further explanation. Explain to her what ASD means (she might be ignorant of this) and ask how this relates to your daughter. Maybe she suspects your daughter has a mild learning difficulty relating to writing or concentrating, which probably doesn't require any special action, just maturity and decent teaching. But I would just ask for further clarification.

pointydogg · 04/12/2009 22:27

He has to say 'I am a teacher' so you can marvel at his misuse of apostrophes

Original poster

momijigari · 04/12/2009 22:31

tricker, mn exists for advice, I will talk to the teacher, but I didn't have a chance this afternoon, because I was there not for discussion, but to see what children were up to in the school, generally.

I have a whole weekend to ponder what to do, and I have had great advice in the past here, so if it works for me I will keep seeking the advice of mn.

Insider, dd does that engraving writing thing, and I do appreciate hearing that other children are reluctant to write lots. (cheers Mussy)

Dd has an awkward writing style, she has kind of invented her own way of doing joined up writing and I think that makes writing harder too, but she is a dreamer and I don't think she wants to write lots, because she gets bored etc.

Cornsilk, I suppose because of the issues with ds, and everything we have gone through with him, I don't think I trust my instincts, it has been pretty hard to come to terms with and I don't think I am coming to terms with his sn quickly. ikwym about teachers looking for stuff, and I think if it is helpful and constructive it is a good thing.

I feel a bit flummoxed by the teacher's comment today.

OP posts:

shockers · 04/12/2009 22:51

I agree with asking the teacher for clarification. She might be glad of the opportunity as it sounds as though she made a bit of a hash of explaining and did it at the wrong moment.

insider ... bit of a sweeping statement wasn't it? You may have come across a couple of inexperienced female teachers but I have had (and am still having) the privilege to work alongside some fantastically enthusiastic and committed young women. I am a TA.

Original poster

momijigari · 04/12/2009 23:27

The teacher is in her late fifties, early sixties, she has postponed her retirement by 2 yrs.

I actually quite liked the teacher, she is a bit disorganised comes across a little am.dram-ish. I think she loves her job, she has grown up children, one has DS.

OP posts:

Insider333 · 04/12/2009 23:27

Trickerg:

Over defensive young female teacher methinks!

Pointydog:

I think I only misused the apostrophe once - "teacher's" - didn't need it.

Momijigari:

A bit obvious really, but the reason that children bear down hard when writing with a cheap HB pencil is so that they make a clear mark.

It would be easier for your daughter to write with a pen, research has shown that felt tip is nice for children to write with as it makes a good mark with little pressure. However, what children are allowed to write with in schools is more down to tradition and economics rather than what is best for the children, eg "They've always written in pencil in Key Stage 1", and pencils are cheaper than pens.

However, there is nothing stopping you from buying your daughter a selection of pens and finding the one that she likes to use and become a "challenging" / "demanding" parent (oh, how the education system does love its euphamisms, lol) and insisting that your daughter uses the type of pen that you have found that she enjoys using.

Apologises in advance for any spelling or punctuation errors.

cornsilkwearscorsets · 04/12/2009 23:33

Why young female teacher? I suppose young male teachers are superior.

Insider333 · 04/12/2009 23:33

Oh! Now that I've read what you've just said about your daughter's teacher age, I really wouldn't worry about anything she's said.

Older teachers like this are usually very good teachers and very good with children. They have lots of experience, common sense and aren't trying to scramble up the greasy career pole for more money.

Staying in the classroom shows a dedication to teaching children - not a lack of ambition.

Insider333 · 04/12/2009 23:35

Cornsilkwearscorsets:

Nope! Young male teachers can be just as useless.

madwomanintheattic · 04/12/2009 23:45

euphemisms.
lol.
thanks for that, pointy. was wondering if it was only me noticing over the last couple of days...

that said, op, i'm recoiling in fascinated horror at the teacher's comment... having one (maybe two - jury still out) sn kids and a very nt one, i would be in exactly the same position as you. i may have laughed outright, and said 'what's that then?' to put her on the spot... but do however agree with insider's last comment re age of teacher (now look what you made me do).

there is a point where being a teacher makes bugger-all difference, and being a woman of a certain age and relishing a hushed tone or two becomes noticeable!

touch base with her again next week, even if it's just to clarify what she meant. always nice to massage the ego and say 'i've been thinking about what you said - would you mind going over it again?...

ds1 is also 8 with an sn sibling (6) - i have to say that this is heavily influencing the gp re the possibility of his sn. i do chuckle mightily though - dd2 has cp. brain damage caused by hypoxia doesn't tend to run in families.... although he also told me she would have grown out of it by her teens...

nod and smile...

edam · 04/12/2009 23:57

Some people have very big gobs. And some people speak first, think later (if at all). And there is a considerable overlap between those groups. I think this teacher might fall into the middle of this Venn diagram...

Reminds me of the ridiculous teacher who terrified my SIL by saying she thought my nephew had autism. Because, at age 5, he wasn't terribly interested in sitting down and writing.

The teacher knew as much about autism as I do about astro-physics - I suspect she'd watched Rain Man...

(Obv. my nephew is absolutely fine and there was NO reason to worry at all. Am sure the same will apply to your dd.)

trickerg · 05/12/2009 00:29

'Trickerg:

Over defensive young female teacher methinks!'

Lol. Will now go and strip 30 years off age.....

(No, Insider333 - I actually do work with 2 brilliant young female teachers....)

Insider333 · 05/12/2009 00:51

Trickerg:

Trickerg, Trickerg, Trickerg...

I wasn't calling "numeracy/maths" arithmetic.

Arithmetic is a small area of mathematics.

Shame you don't know this.

Insider333 · 05/12/2009 00:54

Madwomanintheattic:

Damn and blast! "e" instead of "a" nearly got it right without resorting to the dictionary! Lol!

trickerg · 05/12/2009 00:57

You did in another post insider333. It stuck out like a sore thumb.

gorionine · 05/12/2009 11:40

Insider333, DS2 had a very young teacher last year (year3), It was her first teaching job although she had been a classroom assistant in his reception class. I cannot praise her enough! She was the most fantastic teacher I had seen in a long time (have 3 DCs of school age so have seen a few of them). She was fantastic at motivating the children in academic subjects and also really good at knowing what the children were made of personally. I could have cried when her contract finished as I would have loved DS3 and DD4 to have such beautiful person as a teacher.

I do not think age has much to do with anything as far as teachers go. DS3 has got a teacher close to retirement and she is also fabulous, one could think that you cannot get bothered anymore after such a long time facing children but she has so much stamina and experience it is unbelievable and the children (well mine anyway) absolutely love/loved her and work really well with her.

WRT the teachers gender, so far my
dcs only had female teacher so I cannot really comment on that one but not sure it makes much difference either in their teaching abilities.

Insider333 · 05/12/2009 22:15

trickerg:

Did what?

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