Dd told she should be thinking Oxbridge

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Dd y12 was invited to attend the applying for Oxbridge chat yesterday at school.
She was a little bemused as she isn't really sure of just how good she is but went along anyway and is open minded to the idea.
She is still unsure about what she would study at any uni. Her A2s are Maths, Further Maths, History and Economics predicted at least A in them all probably a couple of A*
So why should she consider Oxbridge as a serious option?

Builde, I think that maybe I could then simplify my argument by saying that I don't think it is a good idea for my children to go to a university in their own country where being from the North of England is so unusual that there is a society to cater for this minority group.

MillyR it is much more tongue in cheek than that, if it's still the "It's Grim Up North" society that I remember - all about finding some brown gravy to eat with your chips, not about empowering an oppressed minority!!!

I know students who went to Manchester who got beaten up for being southern students. This seems a reasonably sharp divide between cities and locals to me, but I'm not going to use it to write posts claiming that no one from south of Watford should consider studying in Manchester and that they should all be warned by teachers and parents.

And it's just not true to state as fact "If you are from a normal background you are going to experience prejudice at Oxford and Cambridge." It really isn't. Some people may have a bad experience, but I can't think of one of my "normal background" friends who experienced any prejudice at all, and I certainly didn't.

To the extent that I've thought about where I'd like my DCs (who are still very young) to go to university (if they do), I really don't think I'd like them to go somewhere that only reflects the experiences they've had before they go. I'd like them to go somewhere where they get the chance to do lots of stuff they've never done before, rather than dismiss entire activities because they don't think they are from the right social or geographic background.

MillyR, I honestly hope you do not thing that the society thing actually matters and that your comment was tongue in cheek.

I do not understand these 'I will be in a minority" arguments. How is that necessarily a bad thing? In the whole of my course I was the only one with my nationality - that did not prevent me from having a great time and finding fab people to hang around with.

I guess things may have changed in 20 years, but you'd have thought in the right direction. I don't know what Milly's experience is/was exactly, but I didn't experience prejudice at Cambridge and have a 'normal' background - same goes for DH at Oxford (there's a wide range of 'normal', of course, and I was a girl from a single-parent family who was lucky enough to get a virtually free place at private school, and DH a grammar school boy from a poor working class background, first in his family to university). Our friends came from all backgrounds - comprehensives, grammar schools, private schools, overseas. And from all over the UK.

And even taking the punting and garden parties reference literally (though I suspect it was somewhat tongue in cheek), does the fact that it's different from many people's student experience make it not worth having?

For me, then, and for DH, then, it was the right choice and we had a wonderful time. It might not be the right choice for the OP's DD for all sorts of reasons, but the ones Milly gives are just bizarre.

MillyR, your comment re. a northern society is quite bizarre. For example,does that mean that British Jews should not go to a university in this country that has a Jewish Society. Well,that cuts out most of the universities in the country. Just because you are from a minority group, whichever one, does not mean you are going to be ostrasised (spelling?) by the rest.

MillyR -

As for North Soc, I don't think that it existed because northerners felt in a minority (half of my year, my college, doing my subject were all from the 'proper north') but more because Cambridge students enjoyed forming societies for everything.

Anyway, I felt in a minority being from Cornwall...hardly anyone lives there, so you never meet anyone from there.

The biggest divides were not north-south, rich-poor, private-state but London or not. My perception was that all the Londoners knew each other! I was probably wrong.

I enjoyed every minute (with the exception of the workload).

A Cambridge degree is great - it does open up the job market for you because everyone world-wide has heard of the University.

Cambridge has a first-year student write a diary entry each week during term - your daughter might be interested in having a look at those.

www.admin.cam.ac.uk/news/dp/2009102202

www.admin.cam.ac.uk/news/dp/2009111204

We were told @ Yr 7 parents' Eve that S was Oxbridge material ie based on his CATS test non-verbal scores - part of the formative assessments some secondary schools carry out - & the closest thing to IQ tests that most kids do. We r a deprived area and I think the teacher expected us to applaud her. She was stunned by our response, we knew he was bright & hard working, but how was he getting on socially in class and was he happy? In the end we had to explain we had met at UCL - & that some kids in the area had always gone to top uni.s. That we would support S to achieve his potential related to what he might have a passion for. He is in Yr10 now and loves debating - has always wanted to be an'evil genius' (my kids r like Pinkie & the Brain, S being Brain, G loving cheese)- so is thinking Politics! We will visit Ox & Cam towns on day trips to see what appeals - but if the best course for him is down the road at Queen Mary College Mile End - we'll still support him.