Those that fund three children through private school how do you do it?

[iwantitnow]

Trying to decide whether to go for baby no.3. We are planning to send educate our current two children privately with me going back to work to fund it but not have to have a high pressured job I did pre-children. Would love a third, we would probably just about make it to fund three but it would be a struggle and I would have to work flat out. I'm nearly 40 so can't wait and see.

If you fund three how do you manage it - city jobs, do you both work full time, grandparents?

We had to think long and hard about me having ds3 - not just about money, also about whether my poor beaten body could take another battering at 39! But that's another story ....

We can comfortably afford the three at prep level, but senior schools are extortionately expensive and so we may have to have a plan b, and a plan c, such as downsizing/moving to a less expensive area/finding God once a month for the next two years to get into the nearby selective state secondary school.

All of those options are do-able and tbh when I look at ds3's big smile (toothless as yet!) I still feel we made the right decision. There are so many people who don't have the choices we have, I feel incredibly lucky we were even able to take the route we've gone down so far. (I guess what I mean is that when we talked about "affording" another baby we were talking about the luxury of a private education, not whether the family would go hungry or cold).

Really interesting responses thank you all. So many people think whether they would need a new car or new house to have a third - so thinking about the cost of education is obvious to me.

I went to a very good state primary school, a very small private secondary school until 16, then one of the top private girls schools in the country for A levels. It is definitely worth paying IME if you can afford it - thought I had a dreadful education at the top primary school - had disruptive pupils and the big classes did not suit me.

Private primary and state grammar is an option where we are but chances of getting into grammar school very slim as everybody wants to do the same.

I'm lucky to be a SAHM and don't plan to return to work until the 2nd (or 3rd) starts reception. The other option for us would be state primary then private secondary (if they could get into a decent one) and being a SAHM to ferry them to all the music and sports they don't get at school. Prefer to go to work to be honest, I think it would be better for us all although wouldn't want to go full-time until they were nearly in secondary school or if had a third i would have to start full time immediately.

Maybe i could become an actuary...

Hi. I would have the children and worry about it later. Children are too wonderful to not have for financial reasons. I stopped at 4 as body worn out (nearly 40 then) and wanted to be able to give each child enough attention.

Having said that, see my post on 'how can i get into state school from private' to see the problems we are having now that paying for 4 children is not a sensible choice for us. For the record we would pay for 4 if there was no other way even if it meant touching the grandparents or selling our house and getting something smaller. Lucky we don't have a mortgage and we do have a large house. I would say paying as much off the mortgage as possible now, especially if you can get a low interest rate, would be your best move. Any relatives able to give you a loan to pay back?

Well we've just had surprise number 3.

DS1 is currently in yr 1 of pre-prep and I do worry about fees in the future.

But I'll be going back to work once youngest is in reception which will fund one set of fees at least. Other two will be covered by DH's salary as per our original plan.

manly nod to po-faced

good luck iwant

Big age gaps.We've 3.5 years between #1 and #2 and will have 4 years between #2 &3 so wouldn't have to pay 3 sets at a time. They are at state primary and the plan is to keep them state if we get into the ones we want but if not we'll go private. We're also quite happy to send one privately and one not if needs be, we'll see which school suits each one so I don't anticipate having 3 sets of fees but the big age gaps should make it possible if it ends up that way. Another option is to keep them state and move them into private for 6th form, very common for bright kids, much cheaper and gets the "name" on the CV if that's what you'd like.

Word of warning I went to private school my brother went to a very good catholic state school - he has alwaays resented this fact and has impacted our relationship. All children or none at private is my motto.

I've funded 5 alone by my earnings. Just work harder and pick work which pays well.

hello xenia, where have you been!

I was thinking yesterday that I hadn't seen you for a while Xenia - nice to know you haven't disappeared

iwantitnow. We were 4 children, 2 went private, 2 went state and it has never been an issue, my DH went private and his siblings went state and I know so many families where this is the case, there are even twins at my sons school where one is private and one is still at the state school. I would never say "I only have money to send one privately which one shall I send" but I will happily say "I have money to send all but this school suits this one and this school suits the other therefore I'll send them to the best school for their needs". Obviously, I'd never send one to an amazing private school and the other to a completely rubbish school but the difference here between the private schools and the state schools I'd consider is so negligible that I am confident it would be ok. The strap line for the open evening at one of the state schools we're considering is "come and find out how we compare to the leading independent schools" and their superb facilities,great pastoral care and recent A level results 86% A & B,, suggests that they do!

Xenia - yes I did expect you on here. If I went to my old job we could fund 4 or 5 at private school too but I would never see my kids as I would working flat out and travelling all the time. Would they prefer to see their mother when they are young or have more siblings and have a live in nanny

Fees much cheaper than the UK and big sibling discounts is the only way we can do three (plus the fact that with big gaps I only pay the more expensive high school fees for one, and he'll have left by the time the next one hits high school).

Private schooling was never the plan when we came to Oz, but as others have said you need to look at the needs of your particular children - v - the available options and make the decision from there. When my eldest was publicly humiliated in a state school for being dyslexic I vowed that I'd clean toilets if I had to to pay the school fees.

My spin on this is that I would rather have the time with the children than work really hard and be worried about money to pay for them to have a private education. (Which, having been educated entirely in the state sector and done very well academically, don't value at all).

Each to their own though!