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Original poster

my son was injured by teacher at school - advice needed

127 replies

mrcerec · 10/09/2009 17:05

Hi

A dad here

Yesterday my 12 year old son was playing football in the playground of his prep school. The music teaching assistant (22 yrs old) joined in the game without being invited. At close range he blasted the ball at my son (with no malicious intent) and succeeded in causing him to fall over and (as we later found out) tear a ligament. He then proceeded to tell my son that he was exaggerating his injury and left him to make his own way to matron. We spent 3 hours at a&e last night - a severe sprain and 4 weeks of no sport. I told the head this morning who basically poo-pooed the whole thing, despite a photograph of my son's extremely swollen ankle.

My questions are

  1. Am I right to be cross about this.
  1. What would you do - particularly when faced by the school's in difference
  1. Would this happen in the state system?

TIA

Mrcerec

OP posts:
PortAndLemon · 10/09/2009 18:34

I wouldn't be particularly concerned about the initial injury -- as you said, no malicious intent. I would be concerned about your son being told he was exaggerating and left to find his own way to get medical treatment, and that would be the focus of my complaint.

As for what would happen in the state system I don't know currently, but several years ago something similar (as in over-enthusiastic teacher injuring child, although it was a cricket ball and a head injury) happened to my brother. The difference there was that the school called an ambulance (I think or he may have been driven to hospital by one of the teachers) and the teacher in question met my parents in A&E and gave them and my brother a fulsome and grovelling apology (my parents did say that they thought he was terrified they were going to sue). And everyone was more-or-less happy and no more was made of it (although my brother did get away with just concussion and an extremely impressive bruise...).

Do you have any concerns about the pastoral care at the school besides this?

Original poster
mrcerec · 10/09/2009 18:37

As I said before it was the attitude of the school, particularly the head, that riled me.
Don't forget he is a 22 yr old with all the sstrength that implies. From a medical point of view ligament damage can always be a weak point - so I don't think it's right for the school just to brush it off.

OP posts:
Feenie · 10/09/2009 18:37

Why do people keep referring to the 'teacher'?

Op has quite clearly stated it was a TA.

Not that it makes one jot of difference to the story, it is just annoying me.

mmrsceptic · 10/09/2009 18:39

oh zeebear
what a kneejerk reaction

good luck mr cerec, I hope he does make a full recovery

four weeks is a long time plus rehab after that

what norma says is interesting

mmrsceptic · 10/09/2009 18:42

oh dear can't step away

"no malicious intent"

but recklessness

i'm sure not many people intend to run people over but they can't just say "well i didn't mean to"

dogonpoints · 10/09/2009 18:45

Hands up who isn't familiar with the game of football

MmeProf · 10/09/2009 18:51

I remember once my dBIL throwing a snowball at DS1, aged 4. He launched a snowball from quite far away and it hit DS square in the face.

If DBIL had tried to hit target, he could not have managed so well. It was a freak accident. Unfortunately DS was put off snow for some time, but he is over it now that he is 17.

This was an accident at the prep school. There was no malice. The 22year old gap year student was over zealous, but weren't we all at 22?

The prep school may have a particular Dunkirk spirit, where boys will be boys, and will not want to dwell on minor injuries too much. Managing such things is what make a man .

hocuspontas · 10/09/2009 18:57

I didn't know it was an 'invitation only' game

LIZS · 10/09/2009 19:08

It was an accident but I would have preferred the ta to be a little more helpful at the time. Was the head aware before you confronted him but isn't it more the bursar's domain (H and S)?

HerBeatitude · 10/09/2009 19:11

I don't think it's the accident that is an issue. Accidents happen, so what.

It's the fact that the TA told the boy he was exaggerating his injuries when he wasn't. He should have shown more concern for him. That's where the problem is.

WriggleJiggle · 10/09/2009 19:15

I thought play acting, cries of 'It's a foul!' and rolling around on the floor clutching your leg in an over dramatic way was normal in a football match. Without being there it is very difficult to tell if the TA was aware that there was an actual injury, or if he thought it was part of the general rough and tumble of boys football.

Jujubean77 · 10/09/2009 19:26

I would not be happy at him not being taken care of on site but accidents DO happen. The TA didn't do it intentionally that has to be the bottom line.

What was your attitude when you went to see the head?

You are not really giving much info here....

FabBakerGirlIsBack · 10/09/2009 19:27

Question 3 is just ridiculous.

Jujubean77 · 10/09/2009 19:29

I agree, what do you think that other, dark continent of the State System would do so differently?

Sonnet · 10/09/2009 19:30

Trip Trap!

pingapengin · 10/09/2009 19:31

I would want the school to acknowledge the accident and apologise that your son wasnt taken seriously.

It is the not taking it seriously that would annoy me most, yes accidents happen and yes the TA should of known better, but im guessing he wont do it again

noodlesoup · 10/09/2009 19:32
  1. You are entitled to be a bit cross but probably not this cross
  1. I would forget about it. 12yo getting hit by football during a game of football is not a big deal. I lost a tooth at the same age in a game of hockey at my independent school for young ladies.
  1. Yes. Children (and adults) get hurt in sport quite often. Frequently the person who has caused the injury tries to downplay it. The TA should have been more sympathetic at the time but he may have been trying to jolly him along. It was an accident. Your ds is 12, not a toddler. He will get over it. Its possible that he will feel a bit daft if his dad goes in and demands a written apology because he didn't receive the ball properly.
mosschops30 · 10/09/2009 19:35

I agree with sherby what a ridiculkous thread.
Im so glad my children are in state school if the other option is parents like you.

Why the hell would the head write an apology to your son?? Laughable!!!

Youre an idiot, and I fear your son will go the same way if you keep up with crap like this!

Get a life, get a grip and move on!

Original poster
mrcerec · 10/09/2009 19:37

It was a game at lunchtime in the playground - not during an organised games session.

He was not receiving a pass - he was defending and the teacher hit it at him.

I was asking the head for waht he thought - I wasn't aggressive

OP posts:
Sonnet · 10/09/2009 19:41

Agree with Mosschops - Get a life, get a grip and move on!

Original poster
mrcerec · 10/09/2009 19:43

I will move on, and away from MN.

Didn't realise it was full of such nasty spiteful people.

OP posts:
mosschops30 · 10/09/2009 19:47

more fool you!!

Original poster
mrcerec · 10/09/2009 19:50

So what you're saying is that I shouldn't take it too personally???

Oh the cut and thrust of MN!!!!

OP posts:
Jujubean77 · 10/09/2009 19:54

I suspect the Head thought you were v annoying

OrmIrian · 10/09/2009 20:09

Twas an accident. I suspect the TA genuinely didn't realise the extent of the injury and thought the boy was exageratting a bit. They tend to at that age. However once the injury happened an apology - informal - should have been forthcoming.

Years ago DH threw a lump of wood for a dog and smashed it in accidentally into the side of my nephew's face The difference being that he was even older than the TA in question so in theory he should have known even better Should DB and SIL have taken him to court, demanded compensation ?

Stop worrying about getting your own back and start looking after your poor boy.

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