Social Anxiety and Selective Mutism suport thread lets talk about school

[AramintaCane]

Lets hold hands on the way back to school. If you have experiences to share of selective mutism and anxiety disorders. If any tips or advice please say hi especially if your name is jamsandwich

I will start. Arriving at school very early rather than late helped us. I found dd prefers to watch the other children arrive and has time to adjust to being in school.

Hi Pannetone, glad you found us.
I know what you mean about growing in to the diagnosis - it's so hard to get your head round a) having two different versions of the same child and seeing her suffer when she should be enjoying group situations and b) dealing with other people's crass assumptions. harumph.

That's tough that they have to file into class alone, not just for a child with SM. There are several children in DD's class who are still struggling to be left and I can't imagine that approach would help. Our school opens the door direct into class at 8.50, parents then stay until 9, looking at books/ jigsaws etc then teacher plays music as a cue and the children are rounded up on the floor for a story/ register. We go in alone at 8.30 and then by the time I leave at 9, she has been fine so far.

I have always found drop-offs are much easier when I can leave DD in a structured activity - e.g. sitting for a snack at a table/ on the floor for story. No choices to make, a set place to be, children quiet and still. I wonder if there is any way you could explore a different approach with school? treating SM involves mixing up the child's rules, so bringing school people into home and home people into school. So really you need to have access to the classroom with her at some point.

But it sounds like she's doing well already, so perhaps you should see how things go for a bit longer and I'll stop interfering!

Thanks for the welcome jamsandwich. DD (morning no. 4) managed the line up and file in today. I agree it is tough for many 4 year olds - one little girl has cried every morning. In a way, that makes it harder to ask for 'special treatment' for DD. DD is my fourth child and my others did find going into class tricky - and they don't have SM. (Though DS2, now 15, was diagnosed with high functioning autism and anxiety disorder a year ago, which means that I do have 'autism antennae' out for DD. She seems quite different to DS2, although the anxiety element is obviously common. I don't think DD is on the autistic spectrum, but then I only became aware DS could be, once his difficulties became more pronounced at secondary school.)

Will keep an eye on the going in routine - and I can see the sense of blurring the boundaries of home and school.
Hard to work out if/how much DD is communicating verbally or non-verbally. She showed me the sticker she had got for 'good counting' but unsure if she counted out loud - remarkable if she did! Like the idea of a 'communication book' so I can get an idea of how DD is doing.

Dealing with other people is a bit of an issue at the moment - so many are asking DD how she is enjoying school. Some who don't know her well, have taken her lack of response personally. I have let them!