Would you send your ds to Eton?

[Flum]

assuming you could afford to.

HMB - I really am beginning to worry about the things we have in common...

i would leave it up to him he could go anywhere he wanted

lavish was cosen simply for its alliterative quality bundle . But I don't think you have to be with your kids to love them, or for them to know that you love them. You wouldn't say that a parent who worked away from home during the week loved their children any less would you?

There are telephones and letters - boarding schools actively encourage parent/child communication nowadays. And I do think that whilst love is a constant, attention can be given just as effectively in installments yes.

Cam - no idea. Possibly Queenswood simply based on location - but without the connection to a girls school (well except my run down comp) I figure we have plenty of time and choice. She will be given the opportunity to go at 13, but not forced to - or even encouraged to, just like ds

Enid and Pruni, I think your husbands must be my DP's longlost brothers (bringing the total number of boys in his family to six ). He too went to boardingschool, thousands of miles from his family - and indeed was brought up by his grandmother from the age of a few weeks, several continents away from his parents - and ought by rights to be a seething morass of mother-loathing neurosis, whereas in fact he has a splendid, loving and adult relationship with him. Far better than mine with the parents who explicitly decided to schlep me across continents to be with them rather than go to boarding school.

But I still don't like the idea of boarding school even when my darling infants are pustulent bundles of sex-crazed hormones. At the moment, anyway.

Time spent with a child doesn't guarentee a good relationship. I spent far more time with my mother and never had a good relationship with her. Dh spent less time with his and has the most wonderful, enviable relationship. Could be a mother /daughter thing? Hope not since I have a dd.

I have to emphasise that I have no problem with others sending children away at 13+ where the child agrees or actively suggests such schooling. But I do have immense problems with 7 year olds being sent away. I really cannot see what good can come of that extent of detachment at such an early age. But equally, I am truly glad that I went to my not particularly good (in terms of academic results) local comprehensive school (despite devouring Angela Brazil and Dorita Fairlie Bruce and wishing at age 11 that I was having midnight feasts) because I really don't think that it is healthy to mix only with people with money (leaving aside the small proportion of scholarship children at the major public schools). But I'm aware that that is my personal opinion only

I longed to go to boarding school. But my parents didn't believe in it so I never went. my mum also believed in staying at home and not going back to work when you had children - she was utterly miserable and made us all miserable too.

I rather wanted to go to Malory Towers, Enid!

Shall we go there this weekend? I'll let you be prefect if you like Although the uniform was brown and that doesn't do mutch for me.

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Pruni, yes when they turn into kevin the teenager

Pruni: if you mean at the moment, yes, sometimes I do . In a temporary and exhausted way. And I do slightly dread their teenage years...

That was in answer to your first post Pruni, as for your second post, I say what a shame they wouldn't let you try but they probably thought they were doing the right thing by you at the time.

...I mean, I have a four-year-old who tells me 'that hurts and breaks my feelings and crumples them up and puts them in the bin', complete with histrionic gestures, and she isn't even being driven bananananas by hormones...

Love it, an author in the making

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Oh yes, entertainment not in short supply, Pruni. Just, you know, occasionally her grasp of narrative is a little wearing.

I take your point about reasons versus results, Prufrock; but I still find it a difficult idea to entertain, personally. My father was sent away to school before the age of six, by the way (seething mass of neurosis there).

I wanted to go to boarding school, but only b/c I'd heard they were dens of iniquity. . So I settled for going to live in France for a year. And I found the entire country seething with iniquity. It was MUCH better than boarding school!

Well no, for lots of reasons.
I went to a "posh" uni (not sure why I was there lol) and there were a lot of people from public schools, some of whom I got very friendly with. But all the old Etonians I met were horrible uncaring snobbish people, as it goes (could give you chapter and verse but... no, another time).
Of course I don't think that all OE's are horrible etc, any more than I think all Wyckhamists are really nice, just because I know a couple of really nice ones.
MI what is that phrase, "fry my onion"?? are you using it as in float my boat? Can i start using it or is it (c) Mother Inf?
I also need to know more about Bruno the magic boy...

Also lol at what flum says about he's a woman now but still welsh. Priceless!

There was a really surprising article on Eton in a local SE London parents magazine a year ago. Apparenly not enough people are applying for scholarships to Eton. The school provides free or nearly free places to scholarship boys, if the parents are means tested.The piece went on to say that too many people are put off applying to Eton because of its image - in fact it wants more children from ordinary families to apply and it is not as difficult to get in as people assume. If I remember rightly, just 50 boys applied for means tested scholarships in one recent year. Article sounded very strange and unbelievabl to me.

I wouldn't want my boys away at boarding school - I have little enought family as it is. But I do know other people have lots of positive things to say about boarding school. Sitting on the fence for this one.

I haven't read all the replies.

But I am THRILLED that a thread i started has made it onto the Front Page.

I am prouder than if my son had just been bunged out of Eton for shagging a maid. (James Bond )

Now read it, my dp also sent to prep school as a boarder at seven. His parents on the other side of the world and he used to fly on his own with a tag round his neck. breaks my heart and I want to pick up his 7 year old self and give him a big squeeze. He did love the prep school though.

I think his parents where just following the norm. Strange though since they were both sent away as children and recall it as being a miserable time - why repeat the process then? odd

His parents are a very kind and loving pair though. Mind you I think boarding etc etc did break down the family unit somewhat for ooooh 20 odd years!

I wanted to go to Enid Blytons St Clares . Malory Towers sounded sh*t.

I would send my children away to school from a certain age onwards, maybe 13 or so if I felt that it would suit them. If for example one of them was musically talented I would have no problem with somewhere like Chets (though we are only an hour away anyway)

If ds wanted to go to a Cathedral school younger it would be very tempting to allow that but I'm not sure what I would eventually decide, especially if a scholarship was involved.

I always wanted to go to boarding school as a child (a la Enid Blyton) but what I do wish is that I had been allowed to have gone for an assisted place at the local independant day school. Dd is at their prep school now and it is wonderful.