I worked as a teacher for 10 years, about 3 years after DD was born. For those years I worked PT 3 days a week.
At the moment, I work flexibly. Is this possible as a teacher or do you have to be at school 0830-1700 hours irrespective of your teaching load?
I had to be in school for my teaching days. I couldn't swap and change days as lessons are timetabled. I wasn't able to come in late/go home early either, even if free lessons were then.
If you have primary age children, how do you cope with inset days which occur on days you have to work if your partner is also working?
Find someone else to look after them - parents/family or friends, or parents of their friends. Or DH has to take a holiday or try and work from home.
Some teachers are able to take their child into school although this is no common esp at secpondary.
How do you deal with things like doctor and hospital appointments for yourself or your DC?
After school finishes or holidays. Hospital appointments are fine, if ones you have little control over. You get the time off, full pay.
Does being a teacher mean that you never get to attend things like your DC's sport's day, nativity play etc?
Depends on your school and head. In the secondares I worked at then no, you couldn't have time off generally. In some schools, if they have a teacher spare you can sometimes get away with it. generally no though IME.
How much preparation work do you have to do in the school holidays as well as in the evening and at the weekend?
I used to work for good hour or two most evenings, about half a day at a weekend, plus at least half of school holidays.
How much extra responsibility do you have and are you paid for those or just expected to do it?
Depends what you take on. I did lunchtime club which was unpaid. I didn't do after school clubs. At one school I was at, once a week I had to do supervise bs duy for 20 mins after school finishing time. There was one meeting a week after school which, if on my work day, I had to attend. Parents evenings and INSET - officially only had to go in for my normal hours/days but if requested for other days I would go if I could, but was paid for my time.
I no longer teach as I didn't fnd it that flexible other than holidays. I wanted to do DD's school events and wouldn't hve been able. I worked PT in a prison instead, in education. This was far more flexible, but paid less and had other stresses.
I now work PT as a TA in a primary school and have little extra work to do, little responsibilities outside my normal hours and have flexibility - I get to go to most of DD's school events although will miss ballet assembly next week.