Feel ill- Am commiting 'The School Move' to a better catchment right now... (long alert!)

[faraday]

I absolutely rationally know we're doing the best we can by the DSs but the acceptance letter for the new school came in the post today so I have to actually commit to paper...! We have decided after much discussion and helpful advice on here to move DS1, Y5, from his current, perfectly good juniors and possibly the best teacher he'll have there to a new school only 3 miles away this half term in order to get his feet under the desk before the Reality of Y6 and possible SATS next academic year. The new school, apart from being a primary and having a nasty sweatshirt/yellow poloshirt combo uniform (we do shirt and tie right now!) is very similar in feel and OFSTED, but we're moving into the catchment of a more desirable secondary school (we rent thus have the freedom)... and this new primary is a feeder.

However, right now, with my house in the disarray of packing it all feels a bit scary! Stupid thing is, we up rooted the entire family from abroad to here, DSs aged 2 and 4 six years ago, no jobs, no house and not much money so, after that experience and successfully pulling it off why the 'upheaval' of a rental house move to another 2 miles away is so scary I do not know!! DH and I keep our jobs, DS2 remains at the old school (wait-listed for the new one, he's Y3), we keep our friendship groups, DSs keep their scouting groups- so why the attack of nerves?

I DO wonder whether it is the stepping into the unknown. I have had to be very tactful about the school move as I am oh so aware that it can come across as 'the local secondary might be good enough for YOUR DC but it's not for MINE'- which isn't how I feel! IF someone said 'You HAVE to send your DSs to this local school, end of...' I'd've said OK- it's an OK school- probably considered good on a national standard, but we have tolerated the downsides of renting for 5 years now, and here's an upside: mobility! Perhaps if the local school were rubbish it'd be easier? But it has to be said the new secondary is considered 'Outstanding'. Might it be that it would be so much 'easier' if there WERE no choice? (as there effectively isn't if you own a house in this financial climate!). It's almost that because we HAVE a choice we therefore have to MAKE a choice! Does that make sense?

I wish I were like a friend of mine who has never wavered for one second in her belief that the barely affordable prep to which she sends her DSs is THE way to go, no question, not negotiable. Never a moment's contemplation of 'AM I being 'up myself' in sending the DSs there? WOULD a comp meet their needs adequately if not fully?' But I guess for them they HAVE to be steadfast in their belief, it's costing so much! Financially this move is costing us about £500 I'd say! Not a vast amount in the grand scheme of things...

Emotionally I'm quite wobbly!

Faraday, before the house price crash, people like you who rented were made to feel like second class citizens by many in this country. So, you are now are reaping the benefit of not being tied down by a mortgage. I say, go for it. Do not feel guilty.

The housing market has priced out many families, who up until recently were feeling like failures. Did the smarmy people at dinner parties think of you when they droned on smugly about how much their home's value had gone up? I doubt it. You are obviously far too nice. Yes, I do feel dreadfully for people in negative equity, but I do not think the solution is that more people should take out unaffordable loans to remedy it.

(Before anyone thinks I have an axe to grind, I am a homeowner).

Yes, there is no doubt that the having to rent thing IS a factor. And I am perhaps assuming the other parents aren't being grown up enough to see that the existing juniors and the linked secondary are all part of a continuum of quality, that all we are doing is positioning ourselves a bit differently to them, but THEIR 'choice' of position is governed by factors like where the house they own is/where they work/where their family are which they may weight differently to us! I must say I have only received one or two mildly barbed remarks- but I also accept it won't go down well the first time I complain about some aspect of our chosen school(s)!