parent helpers in class - can I object to something?

[carocaro]

A few of the parents help out in class, year 2. Two of them I don't have an issue with as they are teachers, one I do not because she isn't a teacher it's because she is a gossip and a stirrer. I avoid her at all costs as she likes to tell stories about other people and kids and she is very nosey and pushy. Plus her DS and mine have a history, he gave DS a black eye a few months ago.

I don't want her anywhere near my DS who is dyslexic when it comes to reading and other work, helping out with the fun stuff is OK by me, but not the actual work.

He gets extra help of the teacher, assistant and SENCO and I don't want anyone else in the mix, especially a pushy blabbermouth.

Can I polity ask the teacher to not let her do any reading etc with my son? I don't know if she is going too, she has only just started, but feel the need to say no to this if its a possibility.

If he has all this extra help anyway, my experience as a parent helper would be that the teacher would want you to help with other children who aren't getting as much one-to-one attention--not saying that your son isn't having this for a very good reason, btw!

Would want HER (the other mother) to help the other children, not you, I meant.

I would, with no hesitation.

The teacher is probably well aware of what this woman's like anyway, but they are always so desperate for help that they can't turn people away.

If there were enough parents saying they didn't want this woman helping their child, then she could be told they don't need her?

Sadly helping in the classroom always attracts this element as well as those who genuinely want to help. All helpers should be given a firm talk about confidentiality but these things are very hard to prove.
I think you have every right to ask for a meeting with whoever is in charge of helpers and express your concerns honestly but not in an accusatory manner. If nothing else it will make them aware of they aren't already.
It is very hard as a helper sometimes. When I did it I had parents offer me all manner of incentives to provide information on other peoples children as they knew I had access to pretty much everything but I always refused and reported anybody who tried.Parents would also try and get you to 'discuss' issues usually involving a child or a teacher with them. It isn't acceptable. If you work in a school in any capacity it is a privileged position. To help out for reasons such as snooping, troublemaking and gossip in my opinion should be dismissable offences.

I wouldn't blame you. I am leaving to help out in my DD2's Year 2 class in a minute and I cannot imagine ever gossiping or even talking about the children I work with to anyone except the teacher to let her know how they did. It makes us all look bad that some do this.

Really parent helpers should have to sign confidentiality agreements. It won't stop gossip but it might make them think. You have my sympathy.