I also think that if a DC needs intensive tutoring to get a high enough mark in the 11+ to gain a place at a superselective GS, then that parent should think about whether a GS is the best environment for their DC.
Is their DC going to find it less stressful being at the top of a Comprehensive top set, or the bottom of a GS bottom set? Each DC will react differently to those stresses.
For some, being bottom of the bottom set in GS would be terribly damaging to their self esteem, and they may actually gain far better results being top of the top set in a Comprehensive.
For others, being top of a top set in Comprehensive would encourage them to 'coast', whereas being bottom of the bottom set in GS would 'push' their DC's to work harder.
Each DC is individual. So IMO, if a parent feels that their DC will need to be heavily tutored, with 1/2 or more years of tutoring, to pass the 11+ with a high enough mark to gain a place, they need to look at their DC, and what would be the best for them.
Not what the parent would like for the best, but what is best for their individual DC.
And that may not be the same for all of their DC's, either.
Just because you want them at a GS, doesn't mean that it will automatically be the best 'fit' for that child.
A poor girl in my DS's class was put through the 11+ (in Essex), tutored for 3 full years, sent to Kumon Maths, etc etc.
She got 232 on the Essex 11+. And though her parents had done a good job telling her that she had done well, and she should be proud of herself, then found themselves called to pick their DD up early from school in years the next day. Because on telling her friends how well she had done, one turned round to her and said "Aww, we won't be at school together next year, I'm going to miss you". When this poor girl asked how her friend knew they wouldn't be at school together before March 1st, the response she got was "Well, I got 379, and I will safely get a place at CoCHS. If you scored less than 327, you won't get a place. Will you still come to sleepovers after school?"
And that's why I feel that parents should think long and hard about putting DC's in for the 11+ if they know they will need to be heavily tutored to have any chance of gaining a place.
The upset girl I was on about was on 3b/3c at the end of Y4, despite nearly two years at that point of tuition. (The mum has since told me over coffee & cake. She thought tuition would get her DD a place.)
Surely at that point, her parents could have seen that it might not be the best thing for THEIR DD to be put in for the 11+?
And realise that for those of us who didn't make the decision to do the 11+, but were asked to do it BY their DC's, were obviously going to be more open with our DC's, and that people like me were going to make sure that our DC's were well aware before the 11+ that the local school was a good school, and that they would do well anywhere, and that we would open the results email together and discuss the results and what they meant with each other.
Turned out, she expected all of the DC's in the class that sat the test to have no clue about scores needed to gain entry to the Colchester schools. Considering it was the only topic chatted about the day after the results finally came out, I thought that was a bit naive.
Not everybody puts their DC's in for a test then doesn't discuss the implications of that test.
I'm not dating that it is impossible for a child on 3b/3c at the end of Y4 to gain a place at Grammar. I AM saying that it is unlikely without either a developmental leap in Y5, or heavy tutoring.