I'm a Teaching Assistant and my teacher doesn't talk to me, is this normal?

[Limara]

Hi, I'm working with an amazing teacher at the moment who I respect and admire and I have learned so much in the time I have spent with her. However, she isn't approachable and I'm finding it difficult to work through the atmosphere(whether it's imagined by me or not!)

I used get in early 8.30am to show willing and be on hand if she needed me to do anything before the kids came into class or if she needed to go through the lesson plans with me in order to explain what I'd be doing with a specific group of children. I never bothered her with conversations and I'd remain quiet. I'd like to think I'm quite perceptive about how people are and can read situations, so I was surprised she requested I do not disturb her until 8.45am.

At this time, she tell me what is is going to happen for each session and I am left with lots question marks about exactly what the outcome is supposed to be?

The teacher does give me the weeks lesson plans on a Monday morning which I refer to but as an example of what I mean, the other day I played a numeracy game with the children and I thought I'd understood it and tackled it properly. However, it went slightly wrong and got a tad confusing. During the game, I sorted it out by tackling it another way and used all the correct vocabulary and reinforcing the correct understanding so I managed to solve the problem but I'f I was able to approach the teacher, we could have discussed the game together. I showed my DH the same game info when I got home and he followed it the same as me and he is super dooper intelligent!

I know she's an incredibly busy teacher and I have so much respect for her but I wish we could have a more 'team-like' relationship instead of me feeling like this.

I'm not a shrinking violet or a quiet mouse and I'd say I'm an inbetweenie so why am I backing away from approaching her?

Any teachers out there got any advice?

Gosh, I can't imagine asking a TA not to disturb me...
It is very hard to find enough time to do proper liaison...are you with her all day? Are you her only support?
I wouldn't worry about mucking up the game.
Is the issue that she is unfriendly or that she is not giving you enough explanation of what she wants you to do?

Does she get on with the other staff? Unfortunately you might just have a person who is difficult to work with. I sometimes do a job share and the first thing I find out is whether it is a person I can work with, however good the job I would turn it down if I don't get an easy rapport.
I supply teach and the first thing I do is make friends with the TA and discuss the day with her.
I would suggest that you spoke to her when time, not first thing in the morning which is stressful, and tell her that you would really like more time to talk over the learning objectives because you feel that you could be more helpful.
Have you asked other TAs in the school how they get on with staff? I think a sign of a good school is all staff being able to have a laugh together.

I hope that you can make sense of my message it seems rather garbled-I should be cooking a meal-must go and get on!

Both IMO. It's such a weired situation...Iv'e never been in this situation before. I absolutely love my job and all aspects of it but she doesn't seem to be interested in any feedback I give her?

I understand what is on the lesson plan but it would be nice to discuss new and unfamiliar games with her in order to run the activity more smoothly. This sort of thing can only happen with exchange of information surely?

I'm with her all day and another person comes in to work one to one so yes, I'm her only support. I really want to help her but she doesn't seem to want my help or input IYKWIM?

How long have you been working with her?

Berrie, just over a month.

Oh Limara, how dreadful for you. I have a fellow TA who wont talk to me becuase I am new(I'm in my 2nd year!) My teacher is wonderful. We work together as a team. She would never say I wasnt to disturb her. She would usually be glad of the help!

Can you ask another TA is she was like that last year?

When people mention her name, they always make a bit of a joke about her being a bit scary

I initially approached her like I would anyone else and was completely 'normal' (if there is such a word) but over a short space of time, I feel intimidated by the long silences...As far as I know, I'm getting on well because she seems happy with my work but we just don't talk about anything at all

When I do give her feedback about how things have gone, she smiles but doesn't seem interested in what I'm saying. Almost as if she knows anyway...

Give her a bit longer to get used to you but it sounds pretty much like her personnel skills are lacking.
If you are likely to be with her next year too, you will need to approach her I think. I'd leave it a bit longer though, she may well think you need help and you'll become an extra problem for her. Give her the chance to realise first how competent and committed you are.
If you are likely to move on next year then just grin and bear the last term.
Some people just aren't very good at this sort of thing.

lots of teachers have had bad experiences with TA's. i know that some that i have come across are constantly trying to prove something to me and the kids- ie they try to discipline kids when i've let something go for a reason or they talk over me. Could be thst she's had a bad experience aznd until she gets to know you she's keeping you at arms length.

Maybe she wants peace and quiet to work until 8.45 and she can't get that with you there

Fionafly, The teacher does want time to herself for peace and quiet in the morning and that's absolutely fine. I just feel that it would be nice to have some form of communication with her. If I were a teacher, I would like to know that the TA had an understanding of the children and their abilities. Surely this is important? I don't want to take over in the classroom and I never raise my voice above hers or 'over' discipline, well I think I don't?! I would like her to know I'm keen and wanting to help more.

Fionafly, do you think those T.A's you came across who were constantly trying to prove something to you were also trying to show you how committed they were?

I think that you will just have to accept that it is her personality and nothing personal. Maybe over time she will mellow a bit. I think she must be happy with you or she would have said something.

OOh there is a teacher like this at school and if I had got the job with her then I know that I would have taken it personally when she was abrasive and rude.

A friend of mine was TA to her and she really struggled to get on with her but it was just her way.

Try not to take it personally but maybe say to her that you would like feedback on how things are going and what she thinks you could do to improve (if you dare!!)

GossipMonger, thanks, I will ask her for feedback and how I could improve. See the thing is, I'm not frightened of criticism but I dislike awkward or what I perceive as awkward silence. Other than this, I really admire her style of teaching, how well she has brought the children on and I respect her. Thanks guys, I can always rely on mn to solve brain fog!

Not that I'm in a teaching environment but when I've worked with people like that I ask questions that don't have the possibility of being ignored, eg 'When I do this numeracy game should I do x,y or z?'. Maybe that is the way to go rather than hoping that she will offer feedback/guidance off her own back. Do you have a head of year that you can talk to in the hope of finding a way to work with her?

If I were a teacher I would be counting my blessings for having an interested and involved TA. As a parent I've realised that not all TAs are like that - my ds (4) runs rings around his TA and I rather wish she was a bit more dynamic/involved etc. Instead he gets through half the amount of reading with her that he does with anyone else, eg TA from other class, or teacher, because he tries (and succeeds) in distracting himself and her!

Fionafly: Thats an interesting view point, I sometimes have to correct one of the teachers I work with becuase she gives the children wrong information but I do try to do it in a nice polite way so that the children arent aware and she isnt embarrassed. (I would never say she is wrong infront of the class but I do need to expand a point sometimes!) Most recent was teacher telling the children that an "!" alwasy means shouting.

I am very lucky that I work with a young outstanding teacher who involves me in all aspects. She will listen to my ideas (if I have any!) and will freely ask my opinion. She is bloody wonderful

Sorry that first line sounds a bit "iffy".
I can spell because really.

No, I don't think this is how TA/teacher relationships normally work. I'm a teacher and have a great relationship with the TA in my class. It's a tough school, and the adults in the classroom need to be really in tune with each other.

You should be able to ask questions to clarify the planning.
She should be approachable enough!

I appreciate she feels she's busy in the mornings, but I think she's being shortsighted. I would bite my TA's right arm off if she came in earlier in the mornings, offering to help me get set up! That would be so, so, so wonderful!

I think you're going to have to tackle this one head on.

Could you go to her as others have suggested and ask for some feedback and then say...

"The planning you give me is really useful. However, there've been a couple of times when I haven't quite understood what you mean. Could we arrange a time every week when we can get together and go through the planning so I'm absolutely clear about about the teaching and learning outcomes of each task. That way, the children will benefit".