bullying problem - complicated, would appreciate advice

[tink123]

DD is special needs but has been doing really well since starting school. Only problem is she has a very dysfunctional relationship with another child. Basically they bully each other in school - punch, kick, hit etc. DD admits it to us at home and we do everything we can to stop her doing it. Her conditions means she hits out sometimes for no reason. As far as I know she only hits this child. I think she is the worst perpetrator. Anyway she has been very upset in last two weeks to point of not sleeping, vomiting and hysterical meltdowns etc and she says it is cos this other child is hitting her. She has bruises all over her legs from kicks and is complaining of stomach pains where other child has punched her.

DH talked to teacher yesterday and asked if they could be separated. They said they would keep an eye on them. Today she came home and said child has kicked and punched her all the time. I am really stressed and worried about dd and also this other child. It is totally unfair that he is being bullied by dd, but what else can I do to stop it. Is it so hard for teachers to separate them?

Any opinions appreciated!!!

Go to the teacher and demand they are separated, tell the teacher that it is completely unacceptable, and your next step with be the head.

I agree with coco - go to the teacher and if he/she won't take any action then I would take it higher.

Hi tink, absolutely agree with the others, go back to the teacher, and again report what your daughter has said. Sometimes our dc have a different version of events, make sure it really is as bad as your dd says, the teacher should be looking at this and taking it very seriously, and should have observed what is happening. Ask her what she has seen and what her opinion is.

On second thoughts, you could ask for a meeting with the SENCO. Or you could just go straight to the head, definitely go the head if there is no further help from the class teacher.

My ds hit out at other children, and he is in a nurture group to help him with inappropriate behaviour. Is your dd's school doing something similar?

I'd ask for a meeting with teacher and other parent(s) since another child is involved. My dd was severely bullied in lower grades to the point of being threatened with a butcher's knife. We had a meeting with the teacher and other parents which was quite an eye-opener and dd ended up having some play dates with the other child's mother. Worked a charm.