Update on Dallington?

[salome64]

Hi, new to mumsnet, but found it when looking for info on Dallington. My DS is having really struggling at school, and for the first time in my life I am considering private school. He's a very sensitive little chap, easily crushed, and dishearterned. early hearing loss and Speech and language issues made his early school years tricky, but thought he ha come out of it. have now discovered has low muscle tone so has trouble finishing written tasks. Pluses are vivid imagination, great reader, and a hard worker, also very compliant in class (sometimes overly so). But stressing now about failing. Just think its not right for a little boy to feel so bad about himself. So, thought take him out of the stressy situation and let him play for a bit. Get some confidence and start enjoying school. School also in special measures after ofsted and a very unhappy place for the staff. Any thoughts?

I know next to nothing about Dallington but would strongly recommend looking at The Lyceum, a small-ish private prep school on the North side of the City. Not a very impressive website (don't let it put you off) but a fantastic, very supportive school, with small class sizes (max. 17, often only 10-15) and which genuinely caters for all sorts of children and brings out the best in each. Very relaxed in nursery through Yr4, then becomes progressively more academic as children are prepared for the secondary school exams. Exits mostly to London independents though one or two to selective state schools as well. Lots of school trips, especially from Yr 4 up. Very strong on music. The school is very good at dealing with children who come from other schools where, for one reason or another, they have been unhappy.
I am a current parent and I can't recommend the school highly enough, though I am aware that different schools suit different children. I would be happy to go into more detail on the school - if interested, please adjust your settings so that I can contact you. Good luck!

Thanks for that Summerson. I'd love to hear more, not quite sure how to adjust settings...eek!

My DD is also at the Lyceum and I second what Summersoon has said. Very supportive, and in addition through singing, music and assemblies where the whole class performs (and is watched and applauded) can do wonders for confidence. They are not strong on sports though there is some form of exercise each day - the higher years can do judo. Bright children stretched, those that need help get it - lots of teaching assistants as well. If you want to know more send me a message.

It sounds great! One of ds' issues is that he hates loud noise, (hangover from hearing loss, he experiences loud noise as pain) so the noise generated by a class of thirty just does his head in. Also pathologically hates being in the spotlight, but conversely is very playful and cheeky when he feels comfortable. His teacher this year took me aside last month and exclaimed in amazement that he had seen ds laugh out loud for the first time while doing a photography project (external project, needless to say). I could only look at him in despair.

Does the school have good relationships with LEA OT's and SALT folk? If I do move him, I would like to keep that continuity going. I know they will work with any school he attends.

I think I need to call and see if there are any possible places, otherwise I could get all excited for nothing!

Meant to say my eldest DD started out at Dallington but we switched her in Yr 3. It's a lovely school and has a very loyal fan base but some feel that it isn't sufficiently academic for the older ones.

I suppose that's where I am confused. I've never thought about him doing entrance exams for independent schools, always assumed he would pootle along in the state system and any deficiencies could be made up along the way, middle class, vaguely cultured home etc. But the pootling has turned into an uphill struggle. and funnily enough, its not his academic work. Just come back from his IEP to be told he has moved up two levels in a term, which is really good progress. Its more the fact he is just so scared of doing the wrong thing, lacking in confidence, and silent in class. His teacher just skated round calling him a zombie. "If I had an entire class of ds's I would be teaching zombies" Ta for that! Yet he and a little mate are playing in the next room chatting away and giggling.

A long way round of saying I just want him to be happy, not get into a great secondary (though as a by product that would be fine!) Does that make sense?

have got appointment to see head of Lyceum. And for ds to spend a morning there. fingers crossed.

And to see Dallington too. should get a good feel of both, and how he might benefit.

Good luck - do let us know how you get on!

I shall, feeling slightly lamb to the slaughter...another universe for me (despite having prep school ed myself) have children in family in independent school who regard all folk not educated that way as chavs, and so don't want ds to be like that.

i went to Dallington as a kid - moved from the country to inner london and my mum was terrified for me. Dallington was loving and lovely. Obviously that was 30 years ago now, but If Mogg is still head, then I coudln't have higher praise for the place and for her methods.

Hmmm slightly pointless post? Sorry! Good luck.

no, dhw, not pointless at all, very reassuring. Mogg is still head (but off sick at the mo). ExP and I went to see it yesterday, and ds is going to spend day there tomorrow. Then to see Lyceum on Friday.

Hi Salome64, I was wondering how you and your DS got on at the two schools? I would be very interested to hear what you thought and whether either one of them would suit your DS.
Regards.

Hi Summersoon. thanks so much for interest. Ds has indeed had his tryouts at both schools. He loved Dallington, and when I went to pick him up he was giggling and laughing away with the other kids, which was astonishingly lovely as I have never seen him do that in class (playground is another matter, very frisky in that normally!) I felt it had a very warm and loving atmosphere and the children were respected by the adults. The class teacher tested him and said it he was a lovely, bright little boy with lots of potential, but clearly needed some support to come out of his shell and overcome his writing problems.

Lyceum.Well, as you said, different schools suit different children. And I think it was quite clear he wouldn't thrive there. The head and I both agreed it wasn't really for him. Ds is bright and a very hard worker, but these things don't shine through on first acquaintance, and I think the thing I am hoping to instill in him by a change of school, ie improved self-confidence, is something he would need before he started to get on there.

Obviously I couldn't comment on the teaching, or the general ethos of the school, but I was a tad dismayed the building, and the poor display work, and also not happy they didn't get a chance to run around at lunchtime. maybe minor quibbles but it did seem a bit like a dungeon. There are lighting systems which replicate daylight, which I think would improve it dramatically.

So its back for another day at Dallington. I am so stressed by all of this! Am I doing the right thing? Aaagh!

Well, good luck to both of you! I hope that he will be very happy at Dallington or wherever he goes. I think that his reaction to his two trial days was very important and telling and it sounds as if Dallington (which I don't know) could well be very right for him.

I am a bit surprised by your comments at the "poor display work" at The Lyceum - I see it most weeks and I think that some of it is very good indeed. The work being done by the current Year 6 is at or close to secondary school standard - I am comparing it with what I have seen on the walls of leading independent secondary schools.

Also, normally the children get a run-around and/or a sports activity every day but the school is preparing for a play to be staged next week so some of the areas need to be off limits for a few days. I thought that the classrooms being below ground would be a real issue when we first came - but I can honestly say that it hasn't been, any disadvantage being more than made up by the quality of the teaching.

Anyway, good luck!

Thanks summerson. Re the displays, it certainly wasn't the quality of the children's work I was referring to, sorry if I didn't make that clear! How schools display that work is a bit of an artform, its not just for parents, but should be a talking point and inspiration for the children, sticking stuff up in straight rows is a bit out of date now. There are entire websites devoted to it! Just a personal hobby horse.

thanks again!

My eldest started at Dallington but we switched to the Lyceum as whilst it is a lovely school, I really didn't think the academic side of things was up to scratch beyond yr 2.

You've been misinformed about lunchtimes at the Lyceum - all years have a run around /play at both lunchtime and break time.

For what it's worth, my eldest is now at a school with amazing sporting facilities but he still has no more PE on a weekly basis than he did at the Lyceum. His skills as a brilliant ice skater and veyr good hockey player were all from his years ago. I'm rather bemused about the comments on displaying artwork. I think the "dungeon" comment is harsh too. The classrooms are open plan and feel bright and spacious. Not sure that Dallington's are hugely better.

The Lyceum gets an outstanding Ofsted and in IMO deserves every bit of it.

I'm not having a go, I was just saying my impressions of the space and the displays. I worked in primary for three years, and that's my considered opinion. And yes, the Ofsted report is great, you will see that I said I couldnt comment on that side of it. These were my impresssions of the environment. A little constructive criticism does nobody any harm. I just found it a bit gloomy and uninspiring.

As far as I understand it they do not go outside and get fresh air.

These are my concerns as a parent and I am entitled to have them. This is not AIBU anyway. I was asked to give an update and did so.

Of course you're entitled to a view. My point is that the description of "dungeon" is not one that I would recognise and I would hate other prospective parents to be put off by it. The kids are outside every day at the Lyceum weather permitting.

I have had kids at both Dallington and the Lyceum and IMO the Ofsted reports (satisfactory for Dallington and outstanding for Lyceum) are spot on. And I have been a primary teacher also.

Dont get your knickers in a twist. Its one a opinion and a valid one at that. I don't care whether other parents are put off or not. Its my child and my opinion. Parents will make up their own minds.

And I wouldn't worry about putting off other parents. Parents who want the kind of education Lyceum offers are unlikely to be put off by the premises. I have another agenda for my son, so yes, I was put off. There ya go. Now they have two sides to ponder as far as opinions of premises go. and can make up their own minds. All fair and dandy. Honour satisfied.

Gee, not sure I was getting my kickers in a twist. Sorry if I misunderstood but I thought people came on here to get different views.

Anyway, as you say, now prospective parents have two views rather than one. Good luck.

Salome64: is it really necessary to use this tone with people who are trying to help you in response to your request?

Of course, it is your child and it is vital that you make up your own mind about what is best for him, but you did ask for the opinion of strangers with experience of the schools you mentioned.

I have not been reading this and other similar forums for very long but it amazes me how quickly people become hostile. It is not just ýou, it's lots of people who write things they would (well, one hopes) never say face-to-face. It dismays me.

I do understand what you mean, but I in all innocence just remarked that I didn't like a couple of things, perfectly reasonably and then suddenly its all hands to defending the school. I didn't say it was a bad school, I just put my thoughts down as asked. I don't need treated as if I have been unreasonable and mean. and implying I shouldn't say those things because I might put other parents off. For god sake, I'm the one here trying to find somewhere for my son to flourish, as explained, I don't need to be shot down for my thoughts, If people feel I have trampled on their sensibilities re their choices of school simply because I said it was rather gloomy and the displays are rubbish (which they are, by anyones estimation) then its a bit pathetic. But I will reply with appropriate annoyance. I mean, is lyceum or any school above criticism? hardly. so I don't need fingerwagging at my audacity from anyone, anywhere. If people are going to get all flouncy and precious about it they will get a sharp retort. In RL as well as here. I wasn't looking for a fight, as far as I was concerned the thread was done. You were extremely helpful and gracious and I appreciated that very much. But it was over. Then someone else wading to basically get p*y with me. Just not on. So I am sorry to have offended you summersoon, but not to have exercised my right to reply also.

Well I'm at a loss as to where I treated you as if you were "unreasonable and mean" or "shot you down" nor where I was "flouncy and precious" or for that matter "p*y"! I simply pointed out that I felt that use of the word "dungeon" was harsh.

You offered one viewpoint on the school, I offered another. I was glad to see Summerson questioning your tone as I must say I was completely taken aback by it.