Twins, same or separate classes

[josiejump]

My twin boys are due to start reception class in September. The schools policy is that whatever class they start in they stay in until year 6 . The boys ( non-identical) are close both emotionally and in terms of ability but at the same time are not dependent on one another. The school is happy for the decision to be mine, but I'm in a quandary! Any advice very much appreciated.

Hi Josiejump. I think if the boys are as well-balanced as you say, then the main criteria might be how you want other people to perceive them. Do you want them to be seen as 'one of the twins' or separately? Also, have you asked them what they want and maybe asked their pre-school or playgroup leaders how they inteact with other children when they are apart from each other?

Also, does your school have any ability streaming later on up the years? In my boys' school, they are streamed for maths and literacy after year 3, which means that your two would be together again anyway.

Hi josie jump ... difficult one ... In 3 schools that I have taught at I have never had twins in the same class .... the schools' policies have always been to encourage the children to be independent and to avoid any competition between them. In fact I can think of three sets of twins over the years who have hated being labelled as 'the twins' in year xxx etc. It made no difference whether they were identical or not and made no difference how close they were ...
If I were in your shoes I would also be in a quandrary but as a teacher I would advise you to split them up to give them space from one another ... they might not be dependent on eachother but as they get older OTHERS will start to compare them and that is what I think I would want to avoid if I were you...
A story for you ... I taught a set of twins ... boys, non-identical ... in different classes ... one in my class but I taught other subjects to the other one too. The MOTHER spent her whole time comparing them ... one was musical, one was sporty, one was good at English, the other good at Maths ... we spent most of our time at parents evening telling her that it was not doing them much good. Anyway ... at 13 they were sitting big scholarship exams to get into a big public school. She promised each one a computer if he got his scholarship. We spent the whole term biting our nails worried about what would happen if one got the scholarship and the other didn't ... luckily in the end one got a music scholarship and the other got a sports one ... to the same school ... so they each got a computer ... a worrying time for us as we could see the pressure and the competition between them ...
Not sure why I told you that ... only that if I ever have twins I will do anything in my power to avoid doing what that woman did to her boys ...
Anyway ... back to the point ... I think put them in separate classes ... to have their own friends etc ....
Sorry about the long post ....

Message withdrawn

I split my non-identical, and although in different classes they do spend a lot of the time together such as games, music, in the same spellings group. They have different friends - but expect that they other mothers feel juts because they invite one home, the second one also gets an invite. One good tip from another twins mum was to have different coloured name labels except for socks where we have 'xxx family'.

As a non-identical twin, I would have hated to have been in the same class as my sibling, and she would have hated it too. Being in different classes (and, for a while different schools) allowed us to develop our own friends without being 'one of the twins'

I live in a town that has twice the national average of twins, I teach in a primary school in the town and off-hand can't think of a single year group (Reception to Year 6) that doesn't have one, if not two sets of twins. We leave the decision to the parents, but have to say that in Key Stage 1 they are usually together in the same class. Haven't really noticed any great disadvantage to this (been there for 11 yrs now)but would always listen to the parents and the children as they grow older, if they want to be in seperate classes.

Thanks for your thoughts. I have to say that my ideal would be to start them off together ( they have said that they want to be together and their nursery teacher doesn't foresee it being a problem whatever we decide to do ) and then split them later, but as this won't be possible without taking one out from the established class group, my next gut feeling was to separate them so that they can develop their own friendship groups. However, I then spoke to a friend who is a twin who said that being split from her sister at school was traumatic for both of them. I also began to worry that one boy may end up with a really good class teacher and come along in leaps and bounds, and that his brother could end up being in a class where the teacher falls sick and the class are taught by a succcession of different supply teachers ( as happened to a friends son recently). I know its all ifs buts and maybes, but I really want to ensure that they have the best possible start to their school life.

My younger sisters are non-identical twins - now 40 years old. One is married with a family and the other is not. The unmarried one started going to counselling to sort out issues she has had since childhood - such as not being able to form relationships well. She is the 'brainier' one of the 2 if you like, and a lot of her problems seem to have stemmed from the fact that she and her twin sister were in the same bedroom and in the same class at primary school. They were never away from each other and were not viewed independently. The single twin felt she never got any recognition or praise above her twin as they were always treated the same, even though she was 'better at things'. This meant she never fely truly recognised with all resposes muted to allow for her 'less clever' sister. It is a difficult situation to explain in type. They were also dressed the same which my mum thought looked lovely but ofcourse is a no-no now. My sisters both believe that they should have been in separate classes from the beginning so that they were viewed as individuals instead of alays being referred to as 'the twins'.

Hi Josiejump,
My identical girls started nursery last Sept - we started them in the same class for a term and then one moved into the other class, though they still spend a lot of time together in the day. It wasn't so much to seperate them as to seperate them in the eyes of their class teachers - I had a very honest chat with their form teacher who said it was almost impossible for her to talk about one without making comparisons with the other and that most teachers would find this - when I had my first consultation instead of giving me two time slots, I got one and the teacher insisted on talking about who was the dominant twin. So we decided we'd move one which was a bit of a worry (which one?) but just spoke to them a lot about it beforehand and promised them a much coveted new toy each for being "grown up" about moving. It has worked well I think. As I say they still see eachother a lot (still eachothers best friend) but they're very much regarded as individuals by the school and have started to branch out in their friendships a bit. The slightly quieter one has really benefitted I think in terms of her confidence. One rather annoying thing is that because of the set up at their school, only one class starts reception next Sept - with another joining a term later, so we'll have to go through the whole moving one process again. But I definitely think in the long run it's worth it. We have worked quite hard at giving them seperate time since they were born in an effort to nurture their individual personalities and independence. Putting them in different classes seems the ideal way to do this, without the work. Best of luck with whatever you decide.

Hi Josiejump - Ive also got twin boys starting school in september. They are going to start in the same class but will be separated later. I'm happy with this and think its the best compromise.

Many thanks for all your thoughts. Finally decided that they probably will be better off in separate classes, to develop their own friendship groups and also, as you say Roberta, so that their teachers don't spend time drawing comparisons between them. Spoke to the boys about this and they have each nominated a friend that they want to be in the same class with, and the school is happy to accommodate their wishes, so a good result all round I think.