Please help me work out what I want to do re dd starting school

[AliceTheCamel]

We are not in the UK, so our system is a bit different.

Dd will be 3 in May this year. She has never attended any nursery or preschool of any sort.

From September this year, she is expected to do KG1, 5 mornings a week.

Nurseries and schools where I live are shockingly oversubscribed and the chances of getting her in to a good nursery between now and September are minute.

Nursery K has a place available for her now. Nursery K seems nice. It is very new. It doesn't adhere to any curriculum. It takes children until they are 5. When I asked them how having no accredited curriculum affects the chances of their children trying to get in to our oversubscribed schools, they looked blank and said "hmm... yes we've not really thought of that. It's something we ought to have an answer for I suppose".

I am working hard at it, but I have no clue whether or not I'll have any place for her anywhere come September.

Do I...

A. Put her in Nursery K for a few mornings a week now, with the intention of moving her to somewhere that does KG1 in September, assuming I find a place for her somewhere? Is this disruptive for her?

B. Put her in Nursery K for a few morning a week with the intention of leaving her there until she needs to go to school? Forget KG1 and just let her play, and deal with school in a couple of years time?

C. Forget Nursery K altogether and concentrate on finding somewhere for her in September? But nothing at all to 5-days-a-week is surely too harsh a jump for a 3-year-old?

D. Stick my fingers in my ears and go "la la la la" until she's 18.

Other factors:

It is costing me a fortune. I am spending hundreds of pounds putting her on waiting lists and I don't even know if there'll be a single place at the end of it.

Sending her to Nursery K and then moving her in September is about the most expensive option there is. We will manage to afford it if we decide that's what is best for dd, but we're not exactly cheerfull about it!

Dd is a confident child. Not at all anxious or clingy. She is really really excited about the prospect of going to "school" and can't wait. I think she is ready to go somewhere now.

Home ed????

I would go for waiting for September. She will be closer to 4 yrs. I think if she is confident she'll be fine and make some lovely new friends during those 5 days. At my Ds's nursery children are there 5 days a week some full time since they were babies. They are still lovely and loved.

Home ed is always an option. In this case though I'd be home edding because I got too tangled up in the schooling system here and couldn't cope, not because it was best for dd. She is itching to go to nursery or school.

Starbear - you think better to wait to Sept rather than let her get settled at Nursery K and then move her?

A bit that I didn't mention is that in September she can either do KG1 at the top end of a nursery or the bottom end of a school. I am applying to both. If she gets a place at a nursery she'll be moving again anyway in a couple of years.

Advantages of doing it at nursery are that it is more gentle.

Advantages of doing it at school are that then she's got a place and I can stop worrying.

Thank you both for reading my essay, btw.

Which of the options that you've given is your favorite?
Is she an only child?
Does she need the company of children now?
Do you need time to do housework/time for yourself?
Is all this putting you into debt?
What does other members of your family think DH/DP?

If she's confident and feeling positive about school, I wouldn't worry about how she's going to settle when the time comes and spend your energy finding a place you like and can relax with.

If that means she doesn't start until 5 ams in KG1 then fine.

Reading it cold, your first post doesn't make it sound as though you're confident in nursery K being the right place for her.

I know the age makes it very different, but I tried to settle dd1 into nursery 1 and then 2 days a week to ease the transition to me going back to work .... she didn't settle until we'd upped it to my full 4 days and then within 2 weeks she was fine.

Good questions Starbear. These are exactly what I need to be deciding. Thank you. (I did type out all my answers but then I realised that this was interesting to me and no one else ).

Right. I think I will send her to Nursery K for now. There's no places anywhere else right now, and there may not even be anywhere better in September. I'm still going to try and get her in somewhere that does KG1 in September. Surely at the start of KG1 there will be plenty of new children so she'll be able to make friends?

Madrush, you're right, I'm not bowled over by Nursery K. It is more of a childcare solution than a preschool, but dd will enjoy playing there and it could be a gentle introduction to the idea of going to school by herself. She is bored at home with me and her baby brother. We're new to the city and don't have enought friends to make a social life yet.

This thread has helped me sort out my thoughts. I think we'll put her in Nursery K and take it from there.