Do you praise reward your child for working hard or for getting good results

[Reallytired]

I think its better for children to be praised for working hard, rather than necessarily being in the top sets or getting A*s etc. IMHO this is true of a child of any ablity whether they are gifted and talented or on the SEN register.

Infact I think it can be equally destructive to tell a child they are clever and gifted as to tell them they are stupid.

I know exactly whet you mean, sagacious. My DD1 is bright and works hard, so she consistently acieves good results. However, I have never been so proud as when she received a prize for endeavour after a particularly difficult time at school. I blubbed too!!!

I think it is very important to recognise and acknowledge a child's natural talents and strengths. So yes, I would very much praise a child for being clever/musical/beautiful etc if he/she were.

oh yes I am very much the mum that looks at the effort grades first .. big rewards for keeping the effort up.. with effort.. imo.. academic grades will be as good as the dc's can obtain.. but it's the effort that counts in my book

I tell all my kids they're clever, even thought some are cleverer than others, and that I expect them to do well. However I am not on their case every five minutes, and I try to avoid micromanaging, because as an educationalist, frankly I could easily end up taking this to extremes, and doing harm.

I do leap up and down manically with genuine excitement when they make progress, which seems to both embarrass and amuse them. When they're more lazy, I just point out that the more graft they put in, the more choice of careers they will have, etc etc. Being lazy tends to close down your options earlier on, IMO.

They don't apply themselves to everything, but they are pretty industrious when it matters and they don't seem too stressed out.

I look at the effort and behviour columns if they have high marks there than there isn't anything they can do about the achievement marks.

I would m ost definitely acknowledge a child's natural skills and strengths.

Haven't read the whole thread, but was 'bright' child myself, whose parents who praised effort, not achievement, which made (and still makes) sense to me, and I do the same with my own children. They get external ratification of the achievement, but WE (the parents) are more interested in how much effort they make. DS2 is probably less talented than DS1 in most ways, but he tries harder to get the same results. I don't feel that DS1 is haerd done by - he gets enough accolades for what comes easily to him. He is now 'getting' the fact that by trying at things that do NOT come easily to him, he gets more praise from us, and so is becoming more understanding of other children who are not academically gifted, but have other talents, as he tries to do the things THEY are good at but he isn't... He will easily harvest a crop of top grade results - but at least he understands also that other children who don't will succeed in other areas.

Both I think. Or at least acknowledge both. I tell ds that I love that he's good at maths - it'll come in very handy and it's a pretty fab talent to have. I do nag him because he puts no effort into rote-learning his tables.

We did a little victory dance together when he was (finally, in year 3) allowed to try cursive handwriting because he could actually form his letters. Now that takes some efort for him.

What's interesting for me is that I am preaching about rewarding effort - yet I was a clever child, and made no effort whatsoever at school. If I wasn't naturally good at something (namely science), I just failed it and really didn't give a toss. I came top in everything I was just born good at. Yet here I am, going on about the importance of hard work/effort...

In my case, it's yet another case of do as I say, not as I do, methinks!