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Education

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Original poster

Does anyone on here have/did have a child at boarding school from 8?

12 replies

Pawslikepaddington · 17/02/2009 15:23

I have had a thread going about whether to get a nanny or put dd in the local boarding school (we have two very nearby) for a year when she is 8 if my working hours are terrible, and on the one side boarding is a very good option, but on the other I am worried that she will become an emotional wreck.

She would be a weekly boarder, and if I finished work early during the I would go in and take her out for tea, and would be in touch with her as much as was allowed, but my conscience is still not comfortable.

She has been at her dad's for four days (he is having her for half term week) and I already want to jump in the car and bring her home!

Has anyone put their dc into weekly boarding at 8? How did it go?

OP posts:

SouthernMeerkat · 17/02/2009 15:47

My brother boarded at 8 and absolutely LOVED it - I hated it, so my parents took me out and started again at 11, when I was much happier!

I think it depends so much on the child, and also the school. Part of the reason I hated it was that my prep school was very spartan and run by (evil ) nuns who shouldn't have been allowed to look after young people.....but that was um.....well, several years ago now, and I'm sure things are very different!

I currently have a nanny for my 3, and it's great - because although I am home late, they still have the continuity of being at home in their own space. Personally I think 8 is quite little, but then perhaps you have a very confident DD.

SouthernMeerkat · 17/02/2009 15:49

I meant to say it's a moot point for us personally, because our three are all under 5 at the moment, and in any case we won't be sending them to boarding school - luckily we have excellent state provision all the way through.

georgimama · 17/02/2009 15:50

It really does depend on the child. My husband was a termly boarded from 7 and was sometimes left in holidays as well . Has left him with huge issues.

VoteforGoat · 17/02/2009 15:51

You must be mad.

LadyGlencoraPalliser · 17/02/2009 15:55

I boarded from 11 and hated it. DH went at 8 and hated it even more. He was unutterably miserable and homesick. I would never consider it at that age and probably not at 11 either. You get really good and covering up and pretending to be fine, you know your parents are wanting you to be fine, but that doesn't mean you ARE fine - IME anyway.

Original poster

Pawslikepaddington · 17/02/2009 15:57

I am 99.999% sold on getting a nanny, so not really going to be an issue, but thought I would ask around as we have 2 boarding school very close by. We have good primary state provision (which she is attending), but I will get home very late for the year in question, so it is doubtful that I will see her awake during the week, so am looking at the childcare options. I would never leave her there for the weekend or holidays!!!

OP posts:

VoteforGoat · 17/02/2009 16:17

Dont do it. Really boarding school is Not right.

i think it affects you emotionally in ways you dont realise till you are a lot older.

VoteforGoat · 17/02/2009 16:18

totally agree wiht LGP
you get a kind of Stockholm syndrome after a while where you start thinking it IS ok.

crumpet · 17/02/2009 16:18

paws, many boarding schools have flexi boarding, where the day children stay one or two (or more) nights a week on an ad hoc basis - you may want to check this with the schools (the house masters/mistreses say that the children who do this occassional felxi boarding treat it like one big sleepover party, rather than "real" boarding - makes their lives difficult but sounds fun for the kids!).

You would still need childcare back up, but might this be worth looking into? Could mean that an au pair (who would then do the housework) is an option - and cheaper.

georgimama · 17/02/2009 16:26

Would LOL at "Stockholm Syndrome" but is not actually funny, whilst being very funny.

Interestingly DH always maintained that DC would be boarders (GM would answer "yes dear" with absolutely no intention of allowing it) but now we have DS aged 2 the thought makes his blood run cold.

VoteforGoat · 17/02/2009 17:38

Yes when my parents turned up to release me back into normality i was loathe to go!

MollieO · 17/02/2009 18:47

Flexi boarding might work. Personally I think that you will have to decide what is right for your dd nearer the time. I will probably send my ds to boarding school at 11 always assuming his personality doesn't change dramatically. Friends of mine who boarded either loved or loathed the experience. It seems those who were sporty and/or musical loved it but those who weren't didn't. Boarding at 8 again will depend on your dd's personality.

If you are doing it because of work I doubt that your long days will only be for one year so whatever system you put in place you may find yourself having to do it for longer than you intended unless you are planning to move in house in which case hours are more fixed.

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