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Education

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Original poster

Please help me decide between these two.

19 replies

MarshaBrady · 17/02/2009 14:29

We are in SE London and have a choice between a Dulwich all boys prep school up to 13 or a much smaller mixed pre-prep up to 7.

The first all boys one is larger and seemingly more formal, the biggest bonus would be avoiding the 7+.

But I seem to be thinking alot about the other one, mixed, more friendly, smaller classes - but the dreaded 7+, it was bad enough going through it all at 3.

Did anyone face this decision, or have any thoughts?

I am really torn...

OP posts:

AMumInScotland · 17/02/2009 15:29

I think as a general rule you should go for the school which feels right for your DC, and leave off worrying about the next step till later! You could speak to the pre-prep about what happens next, how they prepare for entry, where the children go, etc. The way they respond to your question should give you a fair idea whether it's likely to be a big issue or not.

LadyMuck · 17/02/2009 15:35

Presumably the pre-prep are open about the destinations of their child at 7? Are you happy with the choice of schools there?

Swedes · 17/02/2009 15:36

Where will he go at 7 if he goes to the mixed pre-prep?

Original poster

MarshaBrady · 17/02/2009 15:41

We will try again for one of the Dulwich prep schools. The pre-prep are getting better each year with their results.

I think 3 went to Alleyns this year and some girls to Jags and a couple DC. So not huge numbers, still quite a risk.

So nerves are making me feel uncomfortable about turning down all the boys prep as we would avoid this until 13, But really the smaller one is good while it lasts.

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vickyconfused · 17/02/2009 17:06

Hmmm, just mulling this over and maybe putting the opposite view to Muminscotland.... if you go for the pre prep the time will fly by.

We chose the school that felt best for primary and The Reception and Year 1 is indeed a lovely time but suddenly the rest of Year 1 is overshadowed by the prospect of the 7 plus and cannot now help wondering .... but hey I would always be wondering anyway!

What is better about the pre prep option
e.g.nearer cheaper friendlier?

I suppose it could be argued that the pre prep will actually be more pressurised as they will be wanting to continue to improve so maybe in fact the education will be better
but more stressful to say nothing of being stressful to you!

Sorry to put opposing view

thirtysomething · 17/02/2009 17:11

i'd be inclined to go for the all boys one as this removes the uncertainty and gives him time to develop - a lot of boys aren't ready for tests at 7 and then come on in leaps and bounds for the 11+ exams - if he does 3 years of pre-prep and then ends up at a state school as he doesn't get in at 7, you'll then have to prepare him for the 11+ from the state primary which may be more daunting if it's not something they routinely cover(assuming that you want to saty with independent schools??). That's what I would do but you have to go with what feels best to you!!

Original poster

MarshaBrady · 17/02/2009 17:15

The opposite view is a good one, as it feels like the cautious one.

We are considering the pre prep as it has smaller classes, mixed (although I'm not sure it matters so much) very very keen to keep ds - here is there currently at the nursery. It will be familiar to him. It has an after school club incase I need to do some freelance at some point and is a bit closer - although this is only really an issue if I need to do some work.

Personality wise ds has a tendency to be overwhelmed by noise or large crowds but also tends to fit into his environment and is influenced by other children's behaviour. So a formal school might be good in keeping noise down, which will help him, but I don't want any uncomfortable situations where he is not keeping up (academically I have no idea how he is yet).

My biggest (most negative!) fear is that he won't get a place anywhere at 7 and we will have to look at moving house, I really don't want to do this. I think vickyconfused you may be right it will fly by and to go up to 13 gets loads more breathing space.

OP posts:

LadyMuck · 17/02/2009 17:46

Your list of graduates from the preprep didn't seem that wonderful, but I don't know the other local schools really.

FWIW I would have found it almost impossible to coach either ds for the 7+ - one due to temperment, one due to ability. If the school had a good track record - say 2/3rd or more children getting into their first choice school at 7+, then I'd be happy. If the stats are significantly less than that, then I wouldn't be. This probably means that you need to talk to some of the parents of older children at the preprep to find out what the score is. Are children sitting for you preferred prep school and not getting in for example? Thaat would be very concerning.

That said, I would listen to your intuition as well - you have a strong enough preference for it to show through, and you know your son. Just because he is bright doesn't necessarily mean that an academic all boys school best suits him.

How different are the class sizes?

missmem · 17/02/2009 18:06

I would put him in the small pre-prep as children change so much and you may feel that Dulwich isn't right for him at 7+. If its Broomwood Hall you're talking about then they feed to Northcote Lodge which is a really good school and you are guaranteed a place if coming from Broomwood Hall. It's also not as difficult to get into but still feeds to the top Public schools.

Original poster

MarshaBrady · 17/02/2009 19:31

The class sizes are 25 I think for the boy's prep and 17 for the pre-prep.

The all boy's prep I mentioned is Dulwich College Prep School (DCPS).

Any one have information on that one?

Thanks

OP posts:

singersgirl · 18/02/2009 01:11

Have a friend with 2 boys at DCPS and she is very happy with it. They are hoping for DC at 13 as it is walking distance from their house. Older boy now in Y5 (or whatever it's called there) and younger in Y2. They seem confident, happy children who enjoy sport and drama etc.

Original poster

MarshaBrady · 18/02/2009 10:25

That's good to hear, thanks.

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gladders · 18/02/2009 10:38

not sure Broomwood hall would count as a small pre-prep Missem??!

myredcardigan · 18/02/2009 11:15

I would avoid 7+ at all costs especially as your DS is a little shy and nervous. IMO, it is not a good time to assess unless you are sure you have a very confident,bright child on your hands. At 4, they don't notice and at 13 they're mature enough to handle it with your support. However, at 7, they have an idea that it's important but often have difficulty keeping it in proportion. They also pick up on your anxiety. Shy children often find it very stressful.

If the likelihood is that at 7 he'd go to Dulwich anyway then I'd start him there now. Give him the chance to form friendships etc. The education will probably be more rounded at the Dulwich too because they have no need to be pushing them/prepping them at infant level. You may find that at the pre-prep, a great deal of time is spent pushing them for the 7+.

Good luck!

Original poster

MarshaBrady · 18/02/2009 14:10

Yes you're right, he didn't notice my, or have any, stress at 3, at 7 we would both probably be a bundle of nerves.

Ok thanks all, very good advice it has helped me keep my resolve.

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DesperateHousewifeToo · 18/02/2009 17:17

When is your ds' birthday?

We have just finished the hell that is 7+. Ds is October born and I think that was an advantage in dealing with it.

The boys generally dealt with it quite well (not all the parents did though!) but were really pushed at school for the last term of year 1 and then in year 2. I have been told that they have basically covered the whole of their year 2 curriculum since september and that now that the exams are over, they will repeat it.

VC is right, the time from them starting in Reception to the exams just flies by and they look so little going into the exams

That said, we now expect his new prep school to prepare him for moving into their Upper School at 11 and hope that he is more likely to get a place as he is already in their own prep, iyswim.

Original poster

MarshaBrady · 18/02/2009 17:45

His birthday is in April, so not really an advantage. I can see how October birthday would help.

One thing I'm not looking forward to is that he will have to start from scratch, in that he won't know any one at the new school (his closest friend got in too, but may not be going now). But I suppose many children must face this, having to make new friends when they start..

I think I'd rather get over this hurdle now than face the hell that is 7+ and have to possibly deal with all new friendships later on.

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DesperateHousewifeToo · 18/02/2009 18:01

My ds didn't know anyone when he started in Reception either. It didn't take him long to get to know the other children at all.

They find it much easier at that age, I think.

myredcardigan · 18/02/2009 20:03

Making new friends in Reception is no big deal especially because a big chunk of the intake, if not all, will have come from elsewhere.

Moving at 7 into a class with already established friendships, especially for a shy child can be quite a daunting prospect.

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