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Education

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Original poster

im crap at homework

12 replies

cheesescone · 12/02/2009 15:12

i keep getting moments of worry about my dcs homework or lack of it. ds is in year 7 and dd year 5. should i be sitting down and helping them more?, i listen to dd read most nights but ds does own homework the thing is i dont really help him and i cant do the maths. it worries me that some parents get tutors and spend up to an hour a night helping with homework. my ds wants to do it on his own but should i be correcting spellings etc. i hate it when some parents so obviously do loads each night. this is awful too i really dont like listening to my daughter reading . im horrid .sorry really boring but i just dont know everyone really secretive about how much they do with their dcs. like some competition or something.how long do you wise people spent each night on homework stuff,

OP posts:

BitOfFun · 12/02/2009 15:17

I do about the same as you- and I don't worry. If they want help, they'll ask

cory · 12/02/2009 15:19

My dcs are in Year 4 and Year 7, respectively and I honestly do not think their homework is my responsibility any more.

I will help ds if he gets stuck, because he's only 8 and finds school work difficult. I won't nag him to get it done- he'll have to take the detention if he can't get himself organised.

But dd is 12 fgs! she is old enough to use a dictionary to check her own spellings, to use reference work or the internet to check her facts etc. She is not a baby! If she is too lazy to check her own spellings, then she will lose marks. Not my problem. I am sure the teacher wants to see if she can spell, not if I can.

We'll sometimes discuss her work, and I may suggest further reading, particularly for her history projects as I'm interested in that sort of thing. But I am not sitting down doing the work with her. And I don't think it's my job to make sure it's done.

I try to make home a generally educational place, we talk lots about books we've read and things we've learned, and I make sure they have access to work space. But I won't sit down to do the work with them. If they have missed time (dd has bad health problems) I might offer extra tuition. But that's different.

ZoeC · 12/02/2009 15:20

I view dd1's homework as hers not mine so I try to avoid getting too involved where possible. She is in year 1 though so I have to help with instructions. Dh does the listening to reading thing as I work evenings and miss weekday bedtimes. I will do maths with her though, but that's really because I enjoy it and she uses it as a way of staying up late weekends!

Original poster

cheesescone · 12/02/2009 15:22

thank you for replying to my boring thread. i think your right by secondary school they need to be a bit more self reliant. ds work so scruffy and bad handwriting but told it was a 'boy' thing ?

OP posts:

fruitshootsandheaves · 12/02/2009 15:23

My ds (7) gets homework once a week, it can be a real battle getting him to do it although last week he was strangely keen! I don't like reading to him as he makes a fuss and is reading some awful books from 1975!
Don't do homework with the older dc's unless they ask. I actually don't understand some of their homework!
I would say I do about an hour a week! I will now go and write out 1000 times 'I am a neglectful parent'!

BitOfFun · 12/02/2009 15:25

It's not boring, if you can't bang on about stuff like that here, where can you? Certainly not in earshot of Guardian journos anyway .

And the writing is a boy thing, because they are lazy thinking so fast...

Original poster

cheesescone · 12/02/2009 16:38

thanks ,god i do hope they dont get a ,topic' to do over half term agggggghhhh

OP posts:

BitOfFun · 12/02/2009 16:51

Dd has got two due in soon...I am hiding! I ended up doing loads for with her about Buddhism, and really preened at the mark it got But as a rule, no, I am steering clear of the homework...

scienceteacher · 12/02/2009 19:09

You really should not be doing any of your child's homework. Yes, you can offer suggestions when they are stuck, but they need to do the actual work on their own.

You should listen to your younger child read every evening - even if it is just a paragraph or two of their chapter book (I know how tedious it can be )

mumstheone · 13/02/2009 10:11

i think you are doin g the right thing by putting the responsibility on your children for their homework. You are teaching them to be independent and to think for themselves, and it will definitely pay off in the long run.

My DS is 7 and i do help him with the homework, but only to read the questions. I have done more than this in the past and found it hard to stay patient and he started relying on me too much.

However, we read together every evening and this is part of our "quality time".

willali · 13/02/2009 12:29

My Yr 6 son is under no illusions about this - it is HIS responsibility to get the relevant homework done on time etc (without us having to chase him up to do it), HIS responsibility to make sure he brings the right books home, and HIS lookout if he gets into trouble for not getting it done. HOwever he knows that he can ask us for help, but help will not extend to dictating the answers iyswim. We will test him on vocab, stuff for tests etc. I never correct work - what is the point of goig to school with totally correct work if in fact the child has had no clue what to do - the teachers need to know if the child is finding soemthing difficult. I do check if it has been done tho as we have to sign the homework diary!

I do know of mothers (and it is mostly mothers) who sit down next to the child and live and breathe the homework with them. In my view this is so totally wrong and will ultimately do the child no good at all when the work gets more voluminous / difficult.

My 8 yr old does need some more hand holding but that is fair enough - she will learn to work independently by the same stage.

roisin · 13/02/2009 18:29

ds1 did not get a great deal of homework at primary school.

When he started yr7 in September I did work quite hard with him to establish good homework routines: where to do it, when to do it, where to keep his books/reference material/equipment, how to get himself organised, etc.

Sometimes he still needs a bit of a reminder to get on and get on with it, but I mostly leave him to it. I certainly wouldn't check or correct work.

We are lucky that the teachers set engaging homeworks that ds1 is usually very motivated to complete.

Also the school have a very strict homework policy which is enforced: Every homework as well as being marked (below/on/above target) is also graded according to effort. If they put in max effort they get two merits for each homework. Also zero effort is rewarded with demerits. And failure to submit homework on time is rewarded with a detention.

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