getting ds into catholic school

[sorrow]

What would you do to get ds/Dd into a catholic school ??? I was brought up as a catholic but with time I drifted away from the belief.... I do not believe anymore and my confusion is about sending ds to catholic school only because the school is the best in the area and other primary are at the bottom of the league table ... I ve moved to this country 2 years ago and ever since been bombarded with baaad news about education and difficulties to get a good one as long as you can not affort private one ! I do not want my sun brainwashed( sorry about the word)but I want him to get good education . To what lenght would you go to get him into that school ???I wouldnt mind him being chrestiand but I am afraid of the ongoing religion commitment .... in London people do what they have to to get the best school for the kids ....Please help. I can try to get him into the school as a non-catholic child but it is very unlikly that he would get the place the school is oversubscribed .... Would you lie ??? Iam not a cheater and cannot lie properly ....

sorrow - are you in London? I know things are 'different' there and I can understand your concerns. Personally, I wouldn't do it. I too was brought up as a Catholic and, apart from the brainwashing, which is bad enough in state schools, I think you might feel unhappy in yourself because it isn't really what you believe to be right.

I don't think you would get him in as a non-Catholic, as you say, likely to be oversubscribed. So you would have to go through the charade of a christening plus, as you say, holy communion, first confession etc. Some parents have no qualms about doing this but you sound as if it would trouble you. I'm not helping you at all am I but I can understand that this must be a real dilemma in London.

Are there really no other schools apart from teh 2 you've mentioned?

Think long and hard. Most of the children will be christened, and not only that will be making their first holy communions and confirmations, what will you do when that time comes? He might feel isolated from his school mates if he doesn't go along.
As far as the religious teaching goes, most Catholic schools give an all-round Christian education, with studies into other religions too. Plus he will have your feedback at home to guide him. He cannot be brainwashed, he can only be guided one way or the other. What you can do as a parent is to respect his choices at all times, even if you think they are misguided.

As for the Christening, you could try having a word with the priest, tell him where you stand. Most of them know that parents only get their kids christened to get into the school, he will probably respect your honesty. Usually you have to promise to bring him up in the faith, and profess your belief for God, etc. However if you are not happy promising that, perhaps the priest can sort something out for you? Just approach him and see. What does your partner think, is he a Catholic too?

I would say do not make any promises you can't keep, no matter what the drawbacks are. But ultimately it is up to you. You do need to find out more before you make your mind up. So do visit the priest, and maybe the headteacher too. Good luck!

Sorrow
I am in London too, I know it is difficult but I'm with Tinker, wouldnt want my children to go to a church school as I would not personally feel comfortable with the ethos. Could I suggest that if you havent already, you go and look round the non-church state schools? There is so much more than league tables. I honestly belwive that schools are generally much better than they are painted in the press and by some parents who go private without really giving the state system serious consideration. The catholic school may be concentrating more on the testing, or may have a more able group of pupils, more committed parents etc. Which is not to say that you wont find committed families and bright kids in non church schools. My children go to one which we have found to be fantastic. I know we are lucky, they are not all like this, but there is the full range of abilities and backgrounds, and for me that is incredibly important. They learn about all religions and learn to respect each other.
I do have a friend who went to church for two years to get her children into a Cof E school, and I was pretty shocked at that as she and her dh are not Christians. I really couldnt do it and it sounds like you feel you couldnt either. Good luck, it is hard, but if you visit a few schools you may be pleasantly surprised.

sorrow
I know how you feel. We live in the London area and both dh and I are lapsed Catholics. I have to admit that we did consider baptising ds just to get him into a catholic school or at least have a better option of schools. However, we sat down and thought that we didn't get married in church because we felt that would be hypocritical and we wouldn't be comfortable taking ds to church every sunday.
It's not just the baptism, it's the other sacraments plus when you apply to the school, the priest has to write a letter saying you show an ongoing commitment to the church. It sounds like you feel just as uncomfortable as we feel.
We have neighbours who are teachers and did send their children to the catholic school (they are practising catholics) but admitted that some of the local schools, whilst they may not do as well in the league tables, were still good and that they would not have had a problem sending their children to those schools if it hadn't been because they wanted a catholic education for them. The wife, who is a primary school teacher, said that some of the happiest children she's taught were in one of the non-catholic schools and happy, contented children learn well.
Do have a look around, the other schools may not be as bad as they appear.
Good luck with whatever you decide.

Hi sorrow, I am a London Catholic and I am trying to get my son into our local Catholic primary school. I have to say that with our school your "catholicness" is taken pretty seriously and having barely gone to church for years, I am a pretty regular attender these days as otherwise I might as well not bother trying to get my son in.
The Catholic school you are considering applying to will take into consideration a late baptism and it will most certainly count against your child if you are not a regular church attender.
IMO (and I do have fairly limited experience) you have to be fairly committed about this Catholic stuff to get your child into a Catholic school.
Good luck with whatever you decide.

Depends where you are from I guess. Up here a friend of mine is having her child christened, not just to get her into the school, but also she wants to give them the choice of a religion (she is an atheist, he a lapsed catholic). She has been to Church once, and has to go to a 'Baptism Class' where the priest will lay down the guidelines for baptism and make sure they are happy with what they are promising to do. But she does not have to attend every Sunday, and has no intention of doing. As she lives in the right area, and her child will be baptised, she will be accepted into the school.
They say they will show preference to regular church-goers if the waiting list gets full, but we don't have a problem with that round here.

Hi thanks for all the answers . I am now going to think long and hard about this. Its not like I didnt do it before ... but some of your letters made me realise how serious it would be . My husband is not a catholic but said that I should go and see the priest and talk the situation through with him .I havent made my mind up , talked to mums at playgroup only to find out that few of them got their children into that school but they are not C what means they baptised kids only to get them there ... Ive checked the ofsted reports for few lokal schools and they no good. I guess I am stack in a limbo at the moment ...

I was lapsed for years but having found a lovely church now attend regularly.My impetus for doing this was the children's education but in a broader sense - I realised that most of my values came from what I had been taught as a child and that I wanted the same for my children. My children go to a Catholic school and as well as being academically good it provides a very caring, loving atmosphere and was what I wanted for them.I should say that there were other equally good non Catholic schools in the area I could have sent them to. I certainly wouldn't want them to go there if I wasn't practising - I think it would be difficult for you and confusing for the child. Unless you are very strongly opposed why not visit a few Catholic churches in your area and see what they have to offer? As I say I am lucky to have found one that really relates faith to everyday life and involves the children. I am not evangelising, it is only a suggestion!