BUT IT'S BORING MUMMY..............

[hoarsewhisperer]

I was wondering if anyone can help me with some methods to help improve ds' concentration who is 5, nearly 6.

We live overseas and he has had some issues at school with the language in which he is being taught - where he is slightly behind average in the class. This has been assessed and he is now having extra tuition to bring the language up to scratch.

He seems to be poor at concentrating, and sometimes just says, "but i dont want to do it, its boring" when i ask him why he clealy made zero effort with some things at school.

When we do numbers and letters at home and he gets on fine, but the issue is getting him to do things that he doesn;t think are worthwhile. I do not want to start scaring him into the "You will have to repeat the year if you cant be bothered to do what the teacher asks you", but i want to find some way to impress upon him that he has to try.

AT the moment I constantly tell him that he is clever and praise him to the heavens when he does something well and try to make learning adding up and so on fun, with flash cards which he likes. He plays the piano too, and i would say that there his concentration is improving slightly now.

He is a bright child, but not what i would call "academic" if you see what i mean.

sorry i know this is long, and its hard to put my finger on exactly what is the matter, other than that i want him to learn how to do as he is asked..........

He is a boy and unfortunately most formal schooling at this age is not geared towrds boys - they should be outside running around not stuck in a classroom which is in fact terribly boring if you're an outdoor kind of child of either sex.
I speak as a mum of a DS who has finally after 4 years at school stopped saying its boring but still fundamentally dislikes school it had just taken that long for him to come round to the idea that school is what is going to happen for the next 11 years of his life - its a problem with the schooling system not your DS.
Also bright children do find it harder if they aren't give the freedom to learn in their own way - give it time and he'll come round but give him lots of support and encouragement and try not to get too frustrated - I speak with advice here not from experience of doing it right!!

DS was a bit like this, but things have inproved alot - he is nearly 8 now.

You say you are overseas - I am surprised that he is in formal school - most other countries have the fab kindergarten system where they do not do formal schooling till 6 or 7. I thought it was just our blighted country that forced little boys to sit still and listen and be neat, etc when they aren't yet physically or developmentally ready.

Thanks for your replies. He's not really doing formal schooling as he is in (holland) group 2 at the moment and it is pretty much kindergarten, but i want to sow the seeds of concentration as next year (i.e. in September) he will start so called formal learning to read and write properly. He is also the kind of child that if he already recognises something is much keener to do it, hence i am gently introducing him to stuff that he is going to run into soon. Then when he knows how to do it a bit already, he is super proud of himself and i think that gives him more confidence, as in some ways he is a bit insecure.

Similarly the school wanted him to have extra tuition on his language, before he needed it, iyswim, for which i am really grateful.

However, i'm afraid that while he does get alot of time at so called school to run around and play, there are also times when he has to sit and listen, and he is not good at that, particularly at following oinstrcutions from the teacher.

You are so right clutteredup, that boys are developmentally so different from girls. The problem is that the education system is run by mainly women and aimed at girls - and at feminising little boys to behave in the same way. Similarly, i think its hard as a mum to relate to what your sons are going through, as i only have my memories as a little girl to relate to - and i found school fun and liked competing academically from day one.

As my dh and i say to each other constantly, we are not looking for him to be a brain surgeon, just to be happy, perform to average standard so he feels ok in himself, and to always try his best.

it's hard isn;t it to know what to do.

Cluttered up - what do you think the key "avoids" are from my behaviour standpoint?...

Is the teacher worried about him?

When you give him instructions at home, does he listen and follow them?

What does he concentrate on at home? Does he listen well to stories, play with lego, like painting, etc, or does he flit from one thing to another every few minutes?

The teacher is not really worried, she thinks its a language gap and that he doesn't really understand everything he is asked - which i must conceed is a possibility and hence the extra language lessons.

he does listen at home most of the time, and does as i ask - albeit sometimes a bit begrudgingly. I tend to keep it simple like, "please can you set the table for yourself and your brother", or "can you please go upstairs and bring down mummys slippers" or similar.

He is off stories totally at the moment if i read them, but likes story cds (particularly when we are in the car). he loves colouring in and can sit for a good half an hour doing that. If you let him play on the computer (cebeebies or similar) he'll be there until you haul him off. likes baking cookies with me and so on. However, his favourite things are going out on his bicycle ( we cycle everywhere together - this is holland after all), skating on his roller blades, going to football or playing at friends houses). He is an outdoors child and is extremely sporty - now wants to learn to play tennis, likes horse riding, likes skiing, swimming, you name it.