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Education

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Original poster

3 different schools in 3 terms - is it just completely unreasonable....................

28 replies

clutteredup · 30/01/2009 17:00

We moved house , about 40 miles away, just before Christmas and the DC started in their new , just lovely and perfect, school at the beginning of term. DD settled in just fine and DS had a few starting problems finding friends to play with in the playground but has now just made a best friend and for the first time is enjoying school.
Problem : DH might be getting a job in Paris - 13 month contract so we'd have to go too, the weekly commute would just be too much of a nightmare for that long.
What would happen to the DC- we'd be moving at Easter - if he got the job.
He hasn't applied for it yet but it's something he's always wanted to do, a great career move, more money etc. Living abroad is something we've both wanted to do but so soon after moving the DC once would be the problem.
We're sort of hoping that he won't get the job which would help us sort the problem - but we need to plan for if he did.
We won't have to sell our house so will be able to move back to the same place afterwards but all the local primaries around here are so oversubscribed we almost certainly wouldn't get them back into the same school and might not even get them back into the same school as eachother and might have to go to one we have to drive to - currently a lovely 25 minute walk which we all love.
OK so I've come up with all the reasons why it's going to be a bad thing, worst case scenario - can anyone find a positive slant on this one for me ?

OP posts:

Tamarto · 30/01/2009 17:05

Is there a possibility of the contract being extended?

You could consider moving somewhere completely different, once the contract is over.

It would be a fantastic opportunity to learn about somewhere different.

Would it even be an issue if you hadn't just moved?

Original poster

clutteredup · 30/01/2009 17:12

No Tomarto you're right, it wouldn't be an issue if we hadn't just moved - I did think that it would be easy to put stuff in storage as I haven't even unpacked half the boxes yet!
The contract we think proabably would be an extendable one but there would be issues about coming back to DHs current job if he stayed on and then it would become a more permanent thing - not something we'd considered beyond 2 years really - also the house we've just bought is our 'forever' house in a little village - don't really want to live in Paris or any city for that matter for too long. We love our new home too much!

OP posts:

LilianGish · 30/01/2009 17:29

How old are the dcs? Paris is fantastic - we were there for five years, still own a flat there and will definitely go back to live at some point. We loved the French schools so much we've kept our dcs in the system. It's a fantastic opportunity for yours to learn another language - they are like little sponges when you see how easy it is for them to learn you wonder why we don't start earlier in the UK. The great beauty of a fixed-term posting is that you know you won't be there forever. This means you can ignore all the downsides (actually I can't think of many) safe in the knowledge that you've got your dream home to return to in the UK. My advice would be live somewhere fairly central so you can take advantage of all Paris has to offer. It is truly a beautiful city - embrace Parisian life don't even think about recreating what you've got in the UK and just enjoy the two years or however long it is. It is a fantastic opportunity. Ok you might not get the dcs back in the same school when you get back, but the head might have left by then - who knows.

uptomyeyes · 30/01/2009 17:34

Where do you live clutteredup? I'm in London and one of my colleagues commutes in from Paris on the Eurostar. He comes over on Monday morning, has a room in London and then commutes back to Paris on thursday evening, working from home on Friday and getting to spend 4nights with his family. Is that a potential solution?

Original poster

clutteredup · 30/01/2009 17:36

They are nearly 8, 5 and 2 -
Thanks for the positive bit there , it's really why I'd love to go but it does worry me how sad DS was when we moved this last time- it was his first big move away from friends he'd known all his life - this time I suppose it would be easier as he hasn't has time to establish friends, but he'd have to start all over again.
I've always wanted to live in Paris - what is it like with children - are there 'family' areas with parks and things? I've only been to the tourist areas - what would it be like with a toddler?

OP posts:

Blu · 30/01/2009 17:38

yes, I don't understand why you would have to go too? He could be away Mon-Thu nights, couldn't he? And reavl early on Monday mornings and on Fri evenings?

Because otherwise you will uproot your children into a different language school, and then after a year come back again - when their old school place may no longer be available!

Original poster

clutteredup · 30/01/2009 17:39

Hi uptomyeyes - sorry about the other thread i just have a 'phobia' about Kumon - nothing personal.
We live in Wiltshire and the job would be Paris based with some world travel too so not really an option even with the Eurostar - we did commuting from London to Somerset part weekly for a year and that was a real trial as DH doesn't enjoy travelling far at the best of times.

OP posts:

Original poster

clutteredup · 30/01/2009 17:47

I suppose when I say we'd have to go I don't think it would be much better to have DH away all the time, he gets really stressed about commuting and it did put a lot of pressure on our relationship whe he did it before , which wouldn't be good for the DC. We have just finally got ourselves into a situation where he is around a lot more and sees the DC more than just briefly at the weekend when he is tired - we don't really want to give that up. I know a lot of people do live like that but if it was for 6 months we might put up with it but I think the DC would probably choose to be with their daddy if they had a choice.

OP posts:

LilianGish · 30/01/2009 17:59

We lived in the 14th arrondisment where there are playgrounds on every corner. Most people live in apartments and so that's where you go to play. It was very sociable, after school everyone adjourned to their nearest playground to charge around and for mums to gossip before going home for the evening. There are also bigger parks like George Brassen and Monsouris and we used to go to a fantastic adventure playground in the Jardin Luxembourg. I know lots of people who live there with children and there are lots of Brits if your French isn't that great. I think the great thing is that unlike London you can really live in the centre and Paris is incredibly small - we used walk all over. Alternatively you could live in the suburbs where you'll have a bit more space, maybe even a house (don't know what your budget is), but in my opinion it's a bit souless so you don't really have that thrill which Paris always gives me. I had toddlers in Paris and found it really easy - I can even recommend a fabulous English playgroup (well mums and toddlers really) just off the rue du Faubourg St Honore. You say you've always wanted to live in Paris - so had I and I wasn't disappointed. If I were you I'd think of it as a great chance to live your dream - safe in the knowledge that you can go home again!

terramum · 30/01/2009 18:03

Would Home ed be something worth looking at?

LilianGish · 30/01/2009 18:04

Wouldn't go for the communting option myself. Personally I think it's more important to have the family together at that age than to worry about changing schools. I think if you're going to have an adventure you should all embark on it together.

Original poster

clutteredup · 30/01/2009 18:09

Thanks Lilian it does sound great - my French has never been too bad and I'd love to have the chance to get it fluent - or as near as possible - I'd love to give my DC the chance to learn a new language . I'll be looking you up again if we do go.

OP posts:

Original poster

clutteredup · 30/01/2009 18:11

I'm a primary teacher so i suppose Home Ed would be an option but it wouldn't help the social thing really- it would be easier to make friends if they are school. Anyway i don't think they'd love me for long if I teach them!!

OP posts:

Pollyanna · 30/01/2009 18:11

I wouldn't do the move for 13months myself.

It is very disruptive, and you have found the perfect school, which you wont get again. Your dh can commute in term time and you could all spend time in Paris in the holidays. The time would go very quickly.

Original poster

clutteredup · 30/01/2009 18:14

Mmm hadn't considered the whole term set up - that would be a possible option as then it would only be for 6 weeks at a time - that might be an option I suppose but then it would be harder for us to get to know people and the children to learn french - but thanks for the idea that could be a best of both worlds option -hmmm - now we've got another option to consider - aaaaargh!!

OP posts:

pinkteddy · 30/01/2009 18:19

I think you are very brave to consider going for it - I know I wouldn't have the guts. I think Pollyanna's suggestion could be a good one especially given the timing as you are likely to get two summer breaks in. You might even be able to negotiate a bit of an extension to one of two of the holidays if UK school is sympathetic. Good luck with it all

Original poster

clutteredup · 30/01/2009 18:19

ok apa
rt from the cost of keeping 2 houses and commuting....................

OP posts:

pinkteddy · 30/01/2009 18:19

I meant 'one or two!'

pinkteddy · 30/01/2009 18:21

Could yr DH negotiate a few extras if he got the job ie: relocation expenses, travel etc which might ease the cost of keeping 2 houses going?? Just a thought.

duchesse · 30/01/2009 18:24

we went to Montreal for 13 months when our children 6, 8 and 10. It was an entirely positive experience, and they settled back with into the UK school system without trouble. I would definitely do it I were you. There are bilingual schools you can send them to in Paris if that's what you want to do, or perfectly good state schools otherwise.

Original poster

clutteredup · 30/01/2009 18:28

I think there would be expenses involved but the cost of commuting to and from Paris regularly has got to be expensive if we want a family sized flat in Paris too -
DH says he probably won't get the job anyway but I just want to know what we'd be up against if we were to go - it would be the same if he applied somewhere else later on - it could be anywhere really.
The idea of being on mainland Europe appeals though i just found out how much ferries cost in the summer - owch!

OP posts:

Original poster

clutteredup · 30/01/2009 18:30

I guess an international school rather than fully immersed in a French school might be an option - they'd have just got the hang of speaking french at school only to return here.

OP posts:

LilianGish · 30/01/2009 18:30

Here here duchesse. Children are incredibly adaptable. It's a fantastic opportunity to have a great family adventure go for it!

Original poster

clutteredup · 30/01/2009 18:37

Thanks you're right - it is an opprtunity not to be missed and what the future holds for schools at home etc. isn't guaranteed anyway - i feel a bit more positive about it.

He won't get the job now!!

OP posts:

LilianGish · 30/01/2009 18:39

Laughing at your final comment!

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