Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Education

Join the discussion on our Education forum.

Flip

Original poster

Teenager exclusion

15 replies

tink3rb311 · 22/01/2009 22:55

Could someone please advise if the school my son is at is correct in their exclusion of him?

He was at school today with a group of children who were making a lot of noise at breaktime, they were all asked to move along. Some of them continued to shout but moved along and my son laughed. He has now been excluded from school for a day and made out to be the ring leader. He is livid as he didn't know anything until I rang him to lecture him! Plus he admitted he was there but said he did not do anything wrong and has suggested they check the cctv.

We have been called in to a meeting regarding his behaviour. Surely this is overkill for shouting in a corridor? I will keep him off tomorrow but would like to make a complaint as they have not asked for his side of the story which from the education website seems to say they should have done. Any advice would be appreciated.

OP posts:

ramonaquimby · 22/01/2009 23:18

I think you really need to go to this meeting and get the other side of the story

paolosgirl · 22/01/2009 23:20

I agree with Ramon. Don't go in with the sole purpose of making a complaint but go instead to hear the other side of the story and keep an open mind.

Original poster

tink3rb311 · 22/01/2009 23:25

That's why I'm going to the meeting however over the phone they have given me their version of events which differs to my son's. Surely they cannot just exclude him for a day without investigating properly, that's like me turning round at work and saying someone did something and they instantly send that person home, don't think that would happen somehow!

OP posts:

paolosgirl · 22/01/2009 23:29

Again, you need to find out what really happened. Has he been on a behaviour programme, or been warned about his behaviour previously?

Original poster

tink3rb311 · 22/01/2009 23:39

We received a letter before Christmas again my son denied any involvement other than being with a group. The school never provide any proof of this behaviour, it's always "we heard noise came out of a classroom so he must have done it"

OP posts:

roisin · 23/01/2009 04:21

I think you really need to try to be more supportive of the school. Your ds will clearly pick up that you do not back-up the school and this undermines all their behavioural policies.

Many/most students will come with all sorts of stories, exaggerations, fabrications when confronted by their parents about incidents/punishments at school. Do you really think teachers make this stuff up?

Exclusions are serious matters, and are all counted (negatively) in statistics for Ofsted and so on. Schools do not exclude lightly.

In this case (from your son's report) you say the students were told to be quiet and move along, but they continued to shout and your son laughed. Whatever your son actually did, a member of staff was present and witnessed it, and it was viewed to be serious enough to merit an exclusion. In these circumstances I would believe a member of staff over a teenager any day, even an outraged, indignant "I didn't do it" teenager. Because I've seen teenagers argue till their blue in the face about something I have just witnessed them do!

At my school the most unpleasant students we have to deal with are the ones who have learned that whatever happens their parents will believe their stories, and will not believe the school or back up the school in any way. They have no respect for school staff, and can behave appallingly at times.

I have said to my boys that if they are in trouble at school for something or have a detention or whatever, they needn't even think about coming home and saying "I didn't do it. It wasn't me!" And that even if occasionally they receive an unjust punishment they will have to take it on the head.

How old is he btw?

Why not just give my approach a try? Just suspend your belief, imagine the school is correct and your son is spinning you a line. Go into school and listen to their version. Tell your son you are appalled and shocked at his behaviour. Explain to him that you do not believe that the member of staff would make up such a story. Just give the school your support, and see what impact it has on your son's future behaviour.

scienceteacher · 23/01/2009 07:21

ditto Roisin

cory · 23/01/2009 08:01

I would agree that you must go into the school with an open mind and be prepared for the possibility that it is the teacher who is correct.

At the same time, I think it's a bit much to say that you must never query even so serious a punishment as an exclusion. I am sorry to say that I have known teachers not to be entirely truthful and to act against the law: teachers, like other people, are fallible human beings. Suggesting that no teacher ever makes things up or exaggerates is clearly absurd (as we know, some teachers have been caught in very serious misdoings and lied about them). Suggesting that teenagers always lie also seems a little exaggerated.

However, I would never take it for granted that any child of mine (or anyone else for that matter) was telling the truth until I had also heard the other side of the matter. And to hear that properly, you need to go in without having made your mind up.

Remember that both sides may be telling the literal truth, but that an act that seems innocent when described by your son ("he laughed") may appear as a deliberate act of defiance to any bystander. And in that case, you need to support the school.

paolosgirl · 23/01/2009 08:42

Agree with Roisin. The fact that you've had a letter home prior to this event would indicate that there has been a level of poor bahviour. Letters tend only to go home after a period time, when it's felt necessary to involve the parents.

What consequences did you put in place for him following the letter? What consequences do you intend to put in place this time for the shouting in a corridor and laughing at a teacher? What will there be for the exlcusion? You have to show that for every action he should expect a consequnce.

juuule · 23/01/2009 08:51

Agree with Cory.

Go with an open mind.

roisin · 23/01/2009 13:42

Do you have an update?

Original poster

tink3rb311 · 06/02/2009 20:46

HI All sorry for late reply just to let you know that I went in explaining to my son that he had better be telling the truth. He is 14, he suggested to the teachers that they check the CCTV footage in the corridor. They praised his behaviour in the meeting and the head said he would check the footage again, funnily enough we have not heard anything since on the matter. I am loath to push it although he was told off this week for rubbing a snowball on a wall, the school I feel are petty but since he doesn't want to move school I have no choice but to put up with them!

OP posts:

scienceteacher · 07/02/2009 07:25

I don't see how CCTV could show shouting. I think it is just selection of still images, isn't it?

hercules1 · 07/02/2009 12:05

I agree with roison. Teenagers will lie and lie and lie even when there are lots of witnesses. I had one lad deny he did something after he did it in front of me so I asked the other 29 kids if they'd just seen it and they all said yes. He still maintained he hadnt done it.

clam · 07/02/2009 12:20

I think the key thing here was that he laughed. Which shows a lack of respect which, on top of any previous dodgy behaviour, would have contributed to the school's stance.
It's never as simpkle as "just" rubbing a snowball on a wall, or "only" laughing.

Flip