groaning under the weight of private school fees!

[pearso]

Hello,
I've got one child at private school, the other still at state primary for another year and we're dreading the decision next year about what to do. It's very unlikely we'll be able to afford a second set of school fees. Is anyone else in a similar situation? I'd love to hear from you if you are.... I'm also writing about it in my column for the Evening Standard so wouldn't use names but would love to hear what people think, especially in London and about any experiences good or bad.
thanks!

You can either afford it or you can't. You look at your earnings and expenditure and see if there is enough leftover. You decide what is really discretionary and where education fits in your priority list.

It's not really rocket science.

Surely you did your sums before you sent the first child to private school? If not, what on earth were you thinking?

So is this really about you or is it research for your column? If the latter, shouldn't you be paying a fee?

Although we were both privately educated, and sent our eldest to an independent boarding school, we're not doing independent education for our younger 3, because finding fees and negotiating transport problems have proved to be just too stressful, even though we are in the top 10% of earners nationally.

The local independent schools have their collective head in the sands at the moment IMO, and are very unsympathetic to the modern condition. They just keep borrowing money and building more and more flash facilities, for no obvious purpose other than vanity marketing, and this puts the fees up astronomically. They also expect parents to keep borrowing against their homes or fleecing grandparents to cover fees, and frankly those days are over.

With regard to transport, they still expect women to be sitting on their backsides all day, poised to do school runs at wierd times, and they haven't taken on board the fact that so many mums work now (in many cases to cover the school fees). Similarly they still have protracted school holidays that fail to take into account dual career couples. We have also noticed that the private school social pool has shrunk dramatically, and we just don't relate to most of the other parents any more.

On balance, we just didn't think that continuing to spend that kind of money was academically or socially worthwhile, because we weren't convinced independent schools made that much difference any more.

Shouldn't this be under media requests?

Yes, it should.

So you are Allison Pearson? You need to pay...

Yeah Pearso, sounds like a load of twaddle that you didn't know it was going to be too expensive and you are just trying to get views for your article.

Hey Allison, but you're loaded. How come there's the problem with the fees??

BTW I thought you were gratuitously unkind about Fergie's daughter in the swimsuit pic. That was a cheap shot and beneath you. Did you apologise?

That's very interesting, BoffinMum. The area of South Birmingham where I live is full of funny little private schools which seem to operate in exactly the way you describe and I do wonder how crunch-proof this strategy is.

Do you think this is Allison Pearson? According to Wiki, she has a son (born September 1999) and daughter (born February 1996) so that would be about right. Surely that novel of hers has sold enough to send any number of children to private school?

have you paid your £30 media fee?

btw - i wouldn't have sent one child private if i thought funds would be too tight to send the second.

Total hijack - bk good to see you, thought that you might have gone. How are things?

BoffinMum - as a parent with one child still in private, I could have written your post myself!!

The profile of our private school has changed beyond recognition - it seems more concerned with stuffing itself with overseas students (clearly the only slice of the market it can recruit from at the moment). The marketing has gone off the scale recently - every communication from the school lately has contained a dozen fliers trying to sell the school or get more money out of me for dubious reasons. The Head is on her way down to retirement and is clearly more concerned about her legacy being a flash new building than offering value for money education. Meanwhile, some of our friends who have kids there are borrowing huge sums to pay school fees which would scare me shitless. I wonder whether these people stop to think what the rest of their lives will be like, living in poverty to pay off their debts.

God that was a rant wasn't it!!

But we are fortunate to live in an area where the state options are very strong, and frankly the private alternative ain't offering value for money any more.

If you can't afford it, or are going to struggle to do it - don't bother.

To OP, if you have really already sent one private then you must have considered what would happen when the next child was due to transfer? In the suburbs there are good grammar schools if your child is clever enough to get in. If you have equity then you remortgage. Whatever you do don't forget the cost of university as well.

Personally I haven't found the demand for good private dropping in the least. I know of a couple of private primaries that have gone under but that just has resulted in an increase in demand for the remaining well-managed ones.

My DH and I are both teachers (modest salary) I am part time and he is a head of Department - i went to private school and he went to a low achieving comprehensive. We both work in grammar schools and we know our son is unlikely to pass 11+. I have been saving every last penny for the last two years to try and pay for his secondary fees (he is in primary state at the mo)so far i have managed to save just over 2 terms worth of fees - in 2 years! We will remortgage for the remaining fees - we have to do it. I could not contemplate sending him (we have another child who has severe SN so it won't be an option for him)to a local comp.

I am absolutely petrified of the money implications.

Oh how you have underestimated the wrath of Mumsnetters by posting such a transparent request. They don't fall for that sort of thing here and you should pack yourself off to media requests although be warned that even the most seemingly innocuous media request can be heartily flamed over there....

Go to media requests.

Unless you can't afford it

Too bloody right.
I note she has disappeared from the thread.

Well, send them to state school then. It's not bloody rocket science.

Exactly. But surely this is a wind-up isn't it?

Does Pearson still write for the Standard? A search for her articles turns up nothing later than 2007.

And also if I were Allison Pearson I wouldn't put myself down as 'Pearso'.

Troll me thinks.