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Original poster

Hes nearly 3 and he can't count to 3.

63 replies

Bekki · 22/03/2003 18:50

Does anyone else have this problem. I have tried every trick/method in the book and yet my son counts like this.... 1...2..........4...8, what is going wrong? Why can't he remember the sequences, he has never said number three, ever. My sisters daughter is six months younger and can count to one hundred and can read 24 hour clocks! Is it possible that being terrible at Mathematics is genetic?

OP posts:
lorne · 22/03/2003 18:55

Hi Becki

I wouldn't worry about it at all. My ds is 3.7 and he isn't great at counting. He can do his shapes and colours fine but not so good at counting so please don't worry. I would just keep counting things when you are out and about. That is what I do. If we see cows in the field when we are out for a walk eg. I will start counting them just to get him to join in. Do it with anything, sweets etc, just keep at it and I am sure it will come. Good luck.

Original poster
Bekki · 22/03/2003 19:21

Thanks Lorne, I was fine with it until my sister started shoving this genius childs party tricks at me, its getting me quite down, especially as my mum encourages this ridiculous competition. Thankfully my sister has been unsuccessful in toilet training her daughter and my son took to it straight away. Not quite as impressive as telling the time at 2 and a half but use whatever you've got.

OP posts:
Jimjams · 22/03/2003 19:48

Bekki- my 3 (nearly 4) year old can read odd words, count to whatever, knows every shape in the land -including trapezium - which I told him once and he remembered 8 months later, has an absolutely ludicrous memory, knows symbols like divided by and equals BUT he isn't potty trained, he can't talk in English (does a good line in Martian ), he's never said yes, or hello, or anything else vaguely useful, and he needs full time funded one to one help at nursery and is currently being assessed for a statement (and I won't be sending him to mainstream) Believe me your Mother and sister are daft if they even think it matters. Anyway counting isn't much to do with maths (early maths is knowing things like more and less).

I know it's difficult- but ignore them- and enjoy your son! Counting's boring- and I have difficulty with the 24 hour clock!

Chinchilla · 22/03/2003 19:54

Mine only walked at 18 months, can only say about four words (and not those clearly), and he is 20 months. I think the thing is not to worry. All kids miss out numbers, and if he knows you worry about it, he might even be doing it on purpose! Let's face it, by the time that they go to school, all our 'babies' are potty trained, can walk, talk and dress themselves. I guess that I am trying to say 'Don't worry' Bekki. Although I am a fine one to talk, and I can always be heard stressing words loudly to ds!

lisaj · 23/03/2003 21:09

Bekki - I had a similar conversation about children and counting with a friend of mine. She was concerned that her ds (nearly 4) couldn't count properly, whereas another child she knew could easily count to 50. The thing to remember is that although these chidren can spout things out parrot fashion, they probably haven't got any concept of what the numbers actually mean, so they probably aren't anymore advanced IYSWIM. I wouldn't worry about it, as all children do things at different stages,

zebra · 23/03/2003 21:29

My DS (3y+5.5m) was okay with 3, but didn't like 5 sequence went "1 2 3 4 6...". I guess he just likes "six" all lorries are "Six wheels!" Only started saying the number "five" recently. I ask him to count to 5 to calm him down when he's desperate for the loo, so maybe that did the trick. Still doesn't necessarily count objects accurately... 3 or 4 is his attention span limit.

One thing that could help... Sing "One two three four five, once I caught a fish alive..." great for counting, that song.

mears · 24/03/2003 19:04

My second ds could not even speak at age 3 and is now top of his maths class age 14yrs. Don't worry or make an issue of it. He will get there just the same.

Original poster
Bekki · 27/10/2003 13:58

Well 7 months on and he still can't count. I'm getting worried and very frustrated. He appears to be very confused about the entire concept of numbers. To put it in perspective he can understand letters and can spell his own name yet counting to 3 is impossible for him. He seems to think that it is a label rather than a quantity. For example if I put 3 different coloured pens in front of him and count them left to right 1,2,3 and then do the same but right to left he will say that it is wrong because the blue pen is number one. He is very confused and theres no way of explaining to him that it is just a sequence. Whenever I try to get him to count now he just reels off some random numbers and gets very upset. According to my mil he can tell you how many ducks are in the pond but can't actually count them. I know hes only 3 but if he just found it difficult then that would be fine but its just that he has got himself a little muddled and I'm not sure how I can explain numbers to him. Any advice would be greatly appreciated, it sounds silly but I'm really pulling my hair out now I don't want him to fall behind the other children.

OP posts:
codswallop · 27/10/2003 14:00

I never did coiunting with ds1 Bekki but ds2 has picked it up recently - he is 3. I am sure this is all to do with different tyoes of learning. I remember ds1 couldnt remember which item he had already counted so would get confused.

Why the hurry?

codswallop · 27/10/2003 14:01

ps telling you the number of ducks without counting is really skillfull IMo - show s natural ability.

Sounds like you are stressing him a bit - sorry

princesspeahead · 27/10/2003 14:07

bekki, it sounds like you've hit the nail on the head. he doesn't understand numbers, he thinks they are a label and not a quantity. so I would just lay off the numbers completely for a while - 6 months or so - so they don't become a sticking point for him. he will understnad the concept eventually ( he is obviously bright if he knows his letters and his name etc), but just not right now.

it is a bit like some children knowing their colours at under 18 months and some getting them wrong at 3 and a half. it doesn't matter, it just shows that all children are different, and he WILL know how to count eventually!

codswallop · 27/10/2003 14:08

MIne cant get weeks and fornights and all that and he is 5

Original poster
Bekki · 27/10/2003 14:26

You're right, I was just going to defend myself but I can't I am stressing him by constantly trying to help him to understand. Rather than helping him it seems to be confirming his own little worries about counting. He shows my mil that he can count without actually counting but won't with me, perhaps it is time to stop and let playgroup take over. The 'hurry' isn't a hurry but more of a fear that he would never be able to count if he couldn't count by the time he was 3 and a half. I am terrible at maths and it ruined my primary school years. I don't want him to be as confused and as upset by maths as I was (and still am).

I'll just concentrate on his reading for a little while which he seems to love but if anyone can offer any suggestions on how to explain number sequences to a 3 year old I would feel alot happier.

OP posts:
codswallop · 27/10/2003 14:28

I know - I dont want to be unkind bekki but give yourself and him a break. I was bad at maths thriough a lack of confidence really and it was all ok in the end - managed to scrape an O level...

bet there are lots of things he is really good at.

am sure a primary expert will post soon.

codswallop · 27/10/2003 14:30

excitedly - look look look at \link{http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0471102822/qid=1067264989/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_0_1/202-5637827-2481423\this!!

Twinkie · 27/10/2003 14:38

Message withdrawn

Original poster
Bekki · 27/10/2003 14:42

Thanks codswallop. I'll run down to Ottakers tomorrow and let you know how it goes. If I need a book to tell me how to teach my child to count to ten how on earth am I going to cope when he comes home with long multiplication homework. I would have to learn it before I could teach it to him. Oh so many worries, why don't they stay babies?

OP posts:
coppertop · 27/10/2003 15:49

I'm with Twinkie on this. ds1 somehow taught himself to read just after his 2nd birthday, including numbers, shapes etc. However at 3yrs 5mths he is only just starting to talk and toilet-training is impossible. I would gladly swap his reading skills for toileting and verbal skills. I think you're feeling pressured by your family, especially when the other child is 'performing tricks' for the adults. Good luck with whatever you decide.

aloha · 27/10/2003 16:17

Bekki, as I understand it, 'counting' in sequence is purely a memory skill - nothing whatsoever to do with maths - truly, nothing. But being able to know how many ducks there are on a pond IS counting and IS maths. Counting to 100 is a useless skill on its own, and so is 'knowing' the time, unless you understand real time - eg If mummy wants to go in ten minutes and this programme lasts half an hour then I won't get to see the end of it!' I know I have stressed on this board about my son being clumsy at walking and running (or not running) so I should listen to myself more, (thanks everyone though, it really did help put things in perspective) but really, this is not a problem at all. I think you should just leave it. In Steiner schools they don't teach reading or maths until the child is seven at least, and all the evidence shows that early attainment often reverses itself by age 8 (esp if the attainment is taught rather than 'picked up'. Competititions are hard to avoid with kids. I just keep telling myself that my ds can sing even if he can't run or jump yet. Concentrate on his many wonderful qualities, and don't try to 'teach' him maths yet. I honestly don't think it will help. Sometimes they get stuff only when they are ready.

codswallop · 27/10/2003 18:22

hooray for all this advice, Bekki - and dont worry about helping your son.

what happeneed to you and maths in the end? did you pass the exam?

have you thought about going to do a GCse at an evening class to exorcise this feeling of stress? You would def pass GCSE s today!

codswallop · 27/10/2003 18:25

ooh bekki have since found a better one - illustrated by the guy who does little red train.

here it is

has very good reviews

kmg1 · 27/10/2003 18:39

Bekki - pure maths is actually very philosophical - the 'concept' of a number, say, 'two' is very tricky to understanding. As people have said here reciting numbers up to 10 is not counting, and is not maths.

Rather than getting hung up on the actual numbers, try some matching games: dominoes with dots (not pictures) are great. Or just when you're having tea, set out the cakes, and see if there are enough for one each, or match up her dollies with their dresses and see if there are enough dresses for the dolls, go and look for one more ... Completely forget about the words 'two, three, etc.' for a while, just talk about one more ... and see what happens.

notlob · 27/10/2003 19:00

Bekki
Don't buy any books, don't ask him to count anything. Count things out loud yourself when he's there, not contrived things but buttons as you do them up on his/your coat, stairs as you climb them, cups as you're putting them away, slices of bread as you're making sandwiches. Don't ask him to count them or join in he must be pi$$ed off with it. If he joins in all well & good, if he chooses not to believe me it will be going in.
Most importantly try not to worry about it and try not to convey your worries to him

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