bogged down with homework blues

[kazzi]

I pick up my two school age children at 3.15 with my 10 month old baby in tow.We get home and it all begins.My 6 year old needs to do homework,which he needs to be supervised with spellings and 10 minutes of reading a night all of which are rude words to his ears.Tears and tantrums every night.I'm told he is lazy at school and I need to do more with him or he will fall behind.
My 5 year old reception child needs to read his book,spelling and flash cards every night.meanwhile baby craves attention needs to be feed, breastfed and bathed.oh did I mention that I need to cook the tea bath my children and have them rested for school the next day including quality family time as stated in schools policy all by 7.30 bedtime ahhhhhhhusband comes in the door.
Anyone got any idea's to make my life easier?

kazzi, I haven't time to reply properly now but just wanted to say tht you are not alone with this problem.I have only the two - 8 years and 3 years, but the balancing act is daunting even so. You have my sympathy.

Also, I feel on a homework/ extre curricular club treadmill with my oldest while my poor 3 year old ends up being taken hithier and thither in the car as I ferry my 8 year old around. I will read the messages and tips here with interest.

Whatever happened to children playing? This country has gone mad. Much sympathy but no advice other than find a Steiner school

Sorry, this is of no practical help but surely the amount of work your children are expected to do is ridiculous. DS2 is year 1 and brings home a reading book at night but its not a problem if not done for any reason. Spellings-15 words a week that can be done over weekend. DS1-year 5-20-30 min a night (which sounds like your 6 year old!). Have you spoken to other parents at the school, lots of people must have same problem and I would have thought most children would have tears and tantrums about spellings and flash cards every night- could they be saved up for the weekend ? Could the 6 yr old read to the 5yr old and vice versa, ds is much happier to read his book to his little sister than to me, you could just give half an ear whilst cooking tea etc. Same with spellings-6yr old could test 5yr old. Have to admit our spellings are often learnt in the car on the way to school monday morning!!
Also find doing school reading in bed before bedtime story seems more popular. Perhaps they could be in bed ready for DH and that could be his "special" quality time with them- doing their reading

Agree with doing spellings in car on way to school. Plus, don't do the reading every night, alternate nights won't harm them. Just do half the book, or let them raed it by themsleves whilst you cook etc. I lie in the parent's comments book as well because I just don't have the time to do it regularly and I don't want to. Kids are knackered when they come home from school, they need to rest.

I've spoken to the teachers before now when I thought mine were getting too much for them/us to deal with. Mostly they have been very understanding and said just do what is practical. Interestingly one teacher told me that they personally thought dd (10) should be able to have play time after working hard at school all day, but a lot of parents put pressure on the school to set high levels of homework,but if it is interfering with quality time etc then don't do it. It might be worth having a chat.

Speaking with my teacher's hat on here, I would be worried about your 6 year old's tears and tantrums. There is no point in forcing your child if this is only going to put them off reading for life. I deal with too many 18 year old's who are functionally illiterate and cannot add to save their lives, all because they were put off reading in primary school.

Many people find the best way to learn is to become the teacher. Perhaps you could get your older child to read to or supervise the younger one. Putting him in the role of expert may boost his self esteem and demonstrate the value of learning (if only to have one over on his younger brother). It also might be worth exploiting the natural competitivness between siblings by making games out of who can read words first. I've used this one to great effect when teaching the times tables.

6 year old children naturally have a thirst for learning. HE IS NOT LAZY, he just hasn't had his interest stimulated yet. My dh barely read until he discovered Biggles, after which he read as much as possible in order to be able to understand the words in his favourite books.

Of course, the 6 year old and the 5 year old could always read a book to the baby while you cook the dinner.

Just wanted to add my agreement that kids have too much homework at an early age these days. My ds started school last September and he has a book home every night, a word wall (6 words repeated over 10 lines in a different order) which he has to learn by the end of the week, plus now he has started to bring home numbers homework. He's only 5 for flips sake, and I often feel that I am not sure if I am teaching him in the correct way, I have not trained as a teacher!!!! Also, whilst I am trying to go through it with him I've got dd clamouring for my attention at the same time!! It drives me crackers!!

I do my Dds spellings with her over meal times and make a bit of a game of it. That way the nerves don't get to highly strung. The reading she does for me, and ds, who is very impressed at how clever his big sister is.

dear all thank you so much for all your comments I am to take a few on board.Please keep um comming.
It's not just 20 mins with each child it's the argument's and trying to get them to do it that takes the time.1/2 of me thinks what the hell they are too young for all this and then when it comes to parent evenings it panic's me.
I want my children to suceed but more than anything I want to enjoy my little loves.That's what I had my children for.

Kazzi - typed a message last night, but lost it. Much of what others have said here.

First be very proud of what you do achieve with them. Having three is hard work when so young, so anything you manage is a result. Have you considered them having school dinners so you don't have to cook in the evenings?

Anyway, try and make a fresh start - homework should definitely not be a stress, and if it is, it will be counter-productive. Try and make the reading a really special time - maybe snuggle up in a big bed together with the older two after their bath or something, and give them a sticker chart to reward them if they read without complaining. I do think reading and being read to is one of the most crucial things at this age, but it MUST be a positive experience. If they are very anti-books, then try you reading to them for a bit, some favourite picture books - it's all positive stuff. Once they get into a positive routine I'm sure they'll start to enjoy it.

Chat to the teachers about spelling strategies - our school has fantastic ways of teaching spelling - really innovative, and make spellings fun. I'm sure they don't need to be a stress. Pin them up, with flashcards, around the tea table, and talk about them then, then maybe 'test them' over breakfast.

Hope you manage to turn homework into a more fun time for you all.

Would it be possible or worth setting aside 10minutes in the morning for the spellings/flash cards bit?

I found also that my dd1 enjoyed reading fact as well as fiction - recipes/travel instructions - and those things are good and short!

Does this really have to be done every night? I know the schools seem to recommend that they all read for 10 mins a night but, as you say, it is really not practical - I work and often don't get home until 6pm so it is even more of a rush but, fortunately, we don't get the arguments. Ds was, and often still is, a reluctant reader but at least now he is a bit older I can leave him to it a bit more. The thing that got him independently reading was joke books and football magazines, my attitude is as long as they read, who cares what it is - we used to sit in bed and read jokes to each other, initially he would just pick out words that he knew from the text but soon was 'reading' them to his sister.

Does anyone else HATE homework as much as I do? I know that they work hard at school, and I do agree with reading and spellings, but my 2 come home with such c**p activities that have been plucked (seemingly) out of the air for the sake of it. I'm the one who ends up 'doing' it because it's either too boring or difficult. DS1's school just blithely assumes that every kid has access to a PC AND the internet at home. There must be kids who haven't - what do they do?
And the worst of it is, they get 5 minutes off their golden time if they don't do the homework. i argue with DH constantly over this - he says it prepares them for being in secondary school. I disagree.

what I also hate about homework are the badly written instructions on those standard photocopied homework sheets! the arguments I have had with my son over interpretation. I wish his teachers would write a note to parents if they give instructions that are not on the standard sheets.

Like Tinker, I find learning spellings in the car is a great boon. Has to be done on the morning of the weekly spelling test, just to add that extra frission of urgency.

I find the balancing act between extra curricular activites and homework needs carful thought. I certainly didn't have such a busy agenda when I was my son's age. But then I didn't have Cartoon Network either.

My son is prone to take matters into his own hands. If we approach a homework meltdown and a strict deadline, cue a shouting match at home, he tends to go behind my back and ask the teacher for extra time. When he tells me the good news, I don't know whether to be cross with him or show him how relieved I really am

I think I must be a bit mad then because I love supervising my dd's homework! I'm not saying always wants to do it, although she usually asks to do it, but I just say let's do it first then it'll be playtime. We occasionally skip it if she has a tea date after school or a late after school activity and is tired but I always enjoy hearing her lovely reading and spelling, etc.

Miggy thank you so much for the idea that the younger child could read to the older child they love doing it and have both got something out of it.Quite time together and my eldest feels so important and trusted he grins from ear to ear.It is also helping him have cofidence in his reading to he still needs help with his but it's not such a battle anymore.Cheers happy house again.Also am doing spellings in the car.Great.Hope you don't mind me writting this but its important to let you know how much comments help others.CHEERS

Great news Kazzi - glad to hear it's going well.