harassment at seven

[hopeandpray]

I don't know how to respond to this and would welcome any thoughts. My dd came home today and complained about a classmate following one of them around and saying repeatedly that he's had sex with her. Am actually quite did not expect to be dealing with this so young. The girl being bothered is new to the class and the boy is unusual, not quite special needs but comes across as a bit disturbed. It's an interesting class, an enormous range of abilities, generally quite privileged. The boy has a very capable, pleasant mum who I know struggles with him.

I just want to whisk dd out to be honest but is it the same all over? Because the behaviour isn't directed at mine I'm ambivalent about talking to the teacher but think I will probably mention it...I wonder how much they can do. Am constantly revisiting the decison to use the school, community and walking distance etc but big classes and have found myself creating a private education for dd to supplement (music, language, swimming and drama). Anyhow besides the point really, is what's happening here usual d'you think?

Apologies if this is in the wrong place but find many of the posts within this section insightful.

I would mention the incident to the teacher.
I doubt the little boy knows the full meaning of what he is saying - he's probably just annoying them as he gets a reaction.
I wouldn't call it harassment - especially if it is a one-off incident.

It's not harassment as such - he's repeating a phrase he's heard elsewhere to see what sort of reaction it gets. Definately inappropriate and upsetting - talk to the teacher; the fact it's not your DD is irrelevant.

And yes, probably the same all over, whether private education or not. Children will always have older siblings/access to inappropriate TV etc.

It's not a one off but I think it's a tricky dynamic because it seems the little girl enjoys the attention, 'plays princess' as dd puts it...which is understandable given that's she's a new girl. Don't really want to intefere but similarly want him to know it isn't OK. DD said she didn't want me to do anything, asked her to avoid him and popped in this morning to talk to teacher but walked back out again because said boy was outside headmistress office looking very sad, bless him. Wonder how on earth a school is to deal with children using the words they possibly don't understand with others so young (but ferociously biologically informed in dds case..how your body works Usborne). Realise I'm importing lots of fears...how do I protect her when the ones exposed to near normalised porn come along. Think will catch the teacher not to talk about boy specifically but sex related talk and how they deal with it. Thank you for your calm posts!

I think at this age an appropriate way for the school to deal with sexualised language is to tell the children not to use silly language they don't understand. No, but seriously, this may mean something is wrong with the little boy, but is just as likely to be of the smelly-botty talk variety.

Either way, your dd is unlikely to come to any harm from it.

Dd was in a class with a highly disturbed little boy and it did her no harm. She understood that he was struggling and I think it helped her to develop empathy. I wouldn't want them protected from knowing about the unhappiness of society, as long as they are physically and mentally safe.

Naturally, the teachers have to clamp down on bullying, but a lot of that involves teaching the children to approach an adult if someone is being hurt or frightened. It doesn't seem as if that is actually happening here, though.

My friends DS 7, thought that kissing = having sex. He may not really know what he is saying, but that it will get a reaction.

Talk to the teacher about it.