Sorry, this is long and convoluted, but would really appreciate your help in my dilemma. We have for some time been thinking of moving DS1 (y4) from his local state (but small and high achieving) school to a private school. Please don't judge for not sticking with state system - we are happy with it for our other dcs. Main reason for moving is that class he is in is very cliquey and the children only play with the children of their parents' friends. There are lots of SAHMs and I work so have not made many good friends amongst the other mums. I don't think it is me though as I have lots of friends in DD1's class which is more mixed amd more welcoming. As a result DS1 has been quite isolated with only a small number of friends, never gets invited to parties, only ever gets invited to friends' houses as a return invite. His social skills have improved a lot over the last year or so but were poor in the past and he seems to have a reputaion for being silly (probably justified if I am honest). Hard to know if his lack of social skills are the cause of the problem or the result. We have spoken to the school about this and they agree that there is a problem with the class but have basically said that as long as the children are achieving the academic results they should be the happiness of DS1 is not a problem for the school. Academically he is doing very well and would probably do even better if he focussed a bit more and was stretched a bit harder. Anyway, we have been to look at 2 options. One is local and is where a lot of his current classmates (the ones who won't play with him) will end up. It is highly academically selective and although it offers lots of extra curricular activities it is easy to avoid doing them, not least because the school bus he would need to cath home leaves before the activities start. My fear is that DS1 would not do them unless forced and the problems with social skills would get worse. Alternative school is a 30 minute drive away, not so academic, big focus on games and other activities including improviong self esteem and confidence(all the children have to stand up in front of the school and recite a poem once a term) but had a lovely feel when we went to the open day. We decided if we could organise transport we would send him there. This has proved very difficult however. There are other parents from this area but they are already in school runs together. We asked about the school putting on a bus and they agreed in principle but because no other parents have expressed any interest the school won't commit. We can't manage the journey every day because of work commitments. So we made an appointment to see the head to explain the situation. We came away thinking that he has decided we are trouble because I made a number of calls over the summer about the transport options, and he seemed to be warning us off the school (although he did say that DS1 can go if we still want him to). He also said that if DS1 is bright it may not be the school for him, but our reason for choosing it is to do with social skills not the academic side. Should we just give up and go for the local one and hope that the cliqueyness doesn't survive the bigger school or should we stick with our original gut instinct about the second school? Many thanks if you have read this far!