Help! Can't afford the school fees any more!

[FrugalMummy]

There must be people out there who have been in this space recently. What have you done when faced with the fact that you couldn't afford the fees any more? Did you remortgage (was it tough post-Northern Rock)? Did you take DS/DD out of school? Were you able to get places at good local schools? Did you sell your body? (just joking!!) Serious matter in the current context. Looking for ideas and want to hear your outcomes.

Hmmm... Lots of questions. Are you looking for ideas for yourself or for your piece?

I pasted my sons' headmaster's face on an S&M orgy participant's body (good old Photoshop) and threatened to send it to his wife and the head of the Governors. A 75% scholarship for DS1 and a completely free sibling place for DS2 followed by return of post.

I've heard that lots of the Mums are going on the game. Or taking up shoplifting and flogging their 'swag' on ebay. Some people will almost certainly reduce their consumption or rare white truffles whilst wearing vintage Cath Kidston tea dresses. All this is deffo true and would make a most excellent story.......

lol swedes
only 75% scholarship

AuraofDora at donkey body

Sell your children. Problem sorted

All of the above. Enough for your article now?

Oh yes.

I turned my children into Child Models.

I sold the Saab and now ride a bicycle.

I learned how to Ebay and sold everything non-essential (no bids for MIL though, sadly)

Oh bollocks, can't be bothered to invent any more tips. Go onto the Good Housekeeping section and pick all the tips out from there.

There have been lots of articles on this subject by the way. You are not being original.

my father didn't bother sending us to private school unless he knew he could always afford it.

at least he got his money's worth out of my sister and, much to his chagrin, i went socialist on him in high school and tested into an excellent state school.

he likened it to playing golf in certain courses: if you have to ask, you can't afford it.

perhaps you should sell your children on the idea of socialism as a political paradigm by which to live their lives and they'll beg to attend your nearest comprehensive.

well you could always write a feeble and irritating half-baked article about how awful it is that you have to send your children to state schools with the scum classes, which are just fine for 95% of the population but not really appropriate for their needs. and then try and flog it to the highest bidder?
just a thought

Or you could write an article admiring your own bravery for sending your children to state school?

It's been done before of course. Usually only by celeb writers.

Tell us OP, are you a celeb writer? We can help you with your angle here. Because I really don't think the "trapping and eating cockroaches to fund the school fees" schtick is a good angle.

on second thought, if you are in fact a yummy mummy, your body should fetch a far better price than junkie kerb krawlers.

perhaps watch a few back episodes of 'Secret Diary of a Call Girl' for Billie Piper's top tips on how to get on the prostitute's road to riches.

if you do write said article, you can be sure of an admiring thread here on mumsnet. how we admire journalists banging on about how grim it is they have had to sack the second nanny, can't afford that skiing trip and can't eat out in restaurants as much as they used to.
oh yes.

And remember, anyone on MN who disagrees with you the teensiest bit for having sent your kids to private school in the first place will of course just be totally jealous and resentful and secretly wishing they were you!!!

And if they dare to admit that they could actually afford school fees but choose not to pay them because their kids do well in state schools then they're the spawn of the devil!!

I posted on this first then didn't check it agin until now. Glad to see my radar was spot on and there wasn't lots of huffing and puffing about how cynical I was!

is this a wind up then?

i must be v gullible then cos i have been pondering about posting and was hoping for some advice myself tbh.

we are in this situation (only one dc goes to private as his autism makes mainstream state v difficult for him). i am actually struggling, but there is no other option other than to send him. have been applying to trusts but noone wants to help us

ah ok. thanks ruby.

the state schools are rubbish near us esp the secondary (when he comes to it). he isnt autistic 'enough' iykwim to go to a special unit- he has AS- veru very academically able but useless socially bless him. his school before refused to believe there was a problem or even to accept the diagnosis from the consultant paediatrician

oh poor fwugal mummy. she's just trying to earn a crust.

those floating american walnut shelves don't come free you know.

and have you seen the price of poilane sourdough these days???

Bel, have you tried posting in the special needs section? Some of the mums there may be aware of organisations which could help.
Have you tried getting advice about your LEA at least contributing to the fees? They have a duty to provide suitable education for your son. Though I can't imagine it's easy proving that what they offer isn't good enough. Good luck

i would do almost anything to keep him there tbh.its been so amazing (7 in a class!!!!!)- he can stay there til he is 16 too