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Dilemma! How do we choose between 2 schools that are particularly different?

38 replies

CaptainNancy · 24/10/2008 17:04

Background- we registered our daughter with the (independent) school in our area that we liked best, however as we had left it later than we intended, she only had a place on the waiting list.
As it drew closer to the time when she should commence school we started to panic dither a little, so went to view another school that we had previously discounted for some unmemorable reason. We actually quite liked this 2nd school, so put her on the waiting list there immediately.
The current economic climate being what it is, the 2nd school intimated that it was very likely she would secure a place there to start in september after DH pressed them on the matter.

This morning however, we received a letter from the first school offering her a place to begin in January - something we weren't now particularly expecting.

The problem is that the 2 schools have quite different strengths- and there are aspects of each that I prefer- how on earth do I decide?

It is compounded by the fact that we have been offered for her to start in January BUT I am due to give birth in Jan, and I feel this would be far too much for my DD to cope with emotionally- she isn't 3 until February.

Has anyone been in similar circumstances? Is it likely that school 1 would let us defer entry until Easter without penalty, when things at home will have settled a little?
I balk a little at paying her nursery fees (FT) and school fees for a whole term when in reality she is likely to attend neither very much once I am home with the baby.

Practicalities-wise I do not see how she is to start school- any school- in January. Both schools are somewhat distant from our home, and neither DH nor MIL drive, and it is growing increasingly likely I will be having a csection this time round, putting me out of action for 6 weeks or so. We are intending to move (closer to both schools), though in 18 months time probably, especially with the housing market the way it it at present.

If you have read this far.... Thank you!

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CaptainNancy · 24/10/2008 21:14

School 1 is H, School 2 BC yes (you supersleuths!)
fembear- you in b h a m too?

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fembear · 24/10/2008 21:19

DS went to BC. It's lovely. Go there!

However, is it good idea to move near to H/BC? Aren't secondary schools shocking round there?

CaptainNancy · 24/10/2008 21:21

dilemma... have you name changed? The story about N .... thought I hadn't 'seen' you on here for ages!
Where did your dd end up?

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fembear · 24/10/2008 21:37

Near bham, not in. Used to drop off DS on the way to work.

What is the plan for secondary? If private, why not do Eggy all the way through?

CaptainNancy · 24/10/2008 21:48

secondary meh! Yes... but we used to live in H and really miss it tbh.

Well- if she doesn't get into KE... I will have to bump her off

We're thinking independent still tbh, though in 9 years time things may be different. KNG is excellent- though would necessitate a house move.

I really liked the nursery at EHSG, but I don't want her in a single-sex environment from such an early age, also DC2 is confirmed as male, and we would really like them to be in same primary school tbh.

Where did your DS go at 11?

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fembear · 24/10/2008 21:59

Didn't get into KE but goes to a fab school not in Bham.

whatalife · 25/10/2008 08:06

I would approach both schools and hope for a sympathetic response. If not, then perhaps this is an insight into how inflexible they might be with your family at a later date (redundancy etc, trouble with fees, special needs etc). SO many companies are downsizing. In Putney at a private school, 7 students were pulled out of their education when Lehman went down the drain. It does not sound like it's going to improve soon so you have that in your favour. Good luck.

dilemma456 · 25/10/2008 08:09

Message withdrawn

lljkk · 25/10/2008 10:25

School 2 sounds nicer to me. They both sound very posh.

I cannot understand how you can be so sure that you will move in 18 months -- is there a lease expiring on a house you own at the location at that time? So much can change 18 months into the future.

CaptainNancy · 25/10/2008 10:35

Dilemma- for stalking- too much weirdness on here recently, that's for sure.

Will CAT you when I get a minute, thanks.

fembear would you mind if I CAT you too? Just want to ask about a couple of practicalities, particularly about instruments.

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fembear · 25/10/2008 16:54

Sorry, I'm not on CAT but you can contact me on fembear at googlemail dot com.

CaptainNancy · 25/10/2008 18:41

fembear thank you.

lljkk I will be returning to work... and I know I cannot continue my present commute- it is just too much.
We need more space- our home is tiny, and there will be 4 of us from january- it is a necessity really- DH works from home for himself, and we just have no room. I am dreading maternity leave- trying to keep a baby quiet so DH can work... is very worrying actually

I didn't get the impression the schools were 'posh'- there seems a good mix of ethnicities and socio-economic backgrounds tbh.
We're not loaded by any means, but we felt comfortable, and were made welcome in both schools- more than in others we visited, and this was before the current economic woes.

The place we will move to- the state school in that 'village' is so homogenous- full of competitve braying White boden-clad uber-mummies, trying to outdo each other with their holidays, and 4x4s, congratulating themselves smugly for what they're saving on school fees and there is a lot of unaddressed bullying that goes on there if children are 'different' to the pack which to be fair, my children are quite likely to be, given their parents!

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CaptainNancy · 25/10/2008 19:15

Oops- sorry- maybe that post was a little harsh.... In my defence I was hungry!

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