Sex education and ignorance

[Hathor]

Surely it is sensible to teach children about bodies, sex and relationships in general terms at school and in an way appropriate for their age. And for families to put forward their own moral view on the issue to their own children.

I hope the government are not asking teachers to put forward any moral judgements on this subject.

My personal view is that when the kids start to ask, we start to answer. I think school should do the biological part of things, bodies, hygiene etc. But relationships should be taught at home because it is a moral call.

I would not be happy with my son's school talking about relationships, certainly not at infant school age. I would be livid if they started talking to him about contraception or homosexuality at primary school. I wouldn't mind him just doing biology at primary.

I would be happy for him to have sex education at secondary school.

Why on earth shouldn't they talk about relationships at infant school age? They've all observed them, haven't they? And if they talk about the "biology" then contraception is part of that isn't it?

I am a bit sceptical about what the actually curriculum will be, once you dumb it all down for the sake of political correctness.

It would be very uncomfortable when half your five year olds' parents don't have a lasting relationship with one another.

I honestly don't mind school teaching my DD (3.11) about sex and relationships at any age. We have always talked to her about where she came from and she has worked out many things for herself - for example, the other day she was talking about when she was in my tummy and how it must have been very dark in there. I had never pointed that out to her.

Its giving children information that they need to know at a pace they can cope with. By all means tell the truth where babies come from. I have always been truthful where babies come from with my son.

However I don't think a primary school kid needs to know about condoms, STDs, abortion or the existance of homosexuality.

I think there is a difference between homosexuality and abortions, Reallytired. The latter would be really scary to contemplate for a young child. The former is something they might see for themselves out in RL and if sensitively taught needn't be at all uncomfortable. Or sorry, was that your problem?

The citizenship week dd did in Yr 6 covered things like health, sex and drug awareness. All sensitively taught and with lots of room for discussion.

If you don't tell them about homosexuality, how do you explain gay friends/rellies?

I would be very pissed off if teachers started going on about the sanctity of marriage or suchlike.

Of course you need to tell them about homosexuality.

DS2 (6) asked me the other day whether boys could marry each other.

And I overheard DS1 (9) the other day calling his brother "gay." When I asked him if he knew what it meant he said, "It means crazy."

So I told them the real meaning of the word and explained that sometimes people of the same sex fall in love with each other like Mummy and Daddy did and although they can't ger married they can have a civil partnership.

And I hope that if similar questions came up at school their teachers would also be able to answer them.

What if a Yr1 child's best friend has two mummies? Or their aunty A has a civil partnership with aunty B? Of course, those particular children will be very very familiar with homosexuality - so will educate in the playground perhaps more positively than the ones screeching 'gy' at every second thing and going 'eeeeuuurgh yuk' at any serious mention.

RealyTired - it is highly likely that your primary age children DO have RL life contact with gay relationships, so they are better educated, don't you think?

MI - yes, me too!

My nephews' head teacher had a lovely civil partnership recently, apparently. He and his partner sang 'me and my shadow' to each other, in matching DJs.

"If you don't tell them about homosexuality, how do you explain gay friends/rellies? "

That is up to the parents to tell the child what they need to know. Surely sex and relationship education is the responsiblity of parents as much as the teachers.

I knew a homosexual couple when a I was a young child. My parents just told me they were two men who loved each other and chose to live together. That was the level of detail needed for a small child. Why should a young child need to be told any more?

My feeling is that the primary curriculum is very crowded. I would rather time was spent on things that are more immediate benefit. For example PE, ART, Music, drama, cookery.

Can primary school children really have meaningful discussions? Most primary school children have very black and white opinions about the world. They often do not have the maturity to grapple with more complex issues. Secondary school age is a much more appriopate age for start relationship education.

The more correct knowledge the better, most kids have heard lots of phrases/words in the playground, much better to let them know what it really means

Of course children should know about homosexuality, my younger brother is a gay man and has had 3 relationships since my kids were born. It isn't wrong to be gay! And isn't somehting that should be hidden from children either. I hate that this attitude is still around today

ReallyTired - but maybe that is the level of education that would be given about gay relationships - short, factua etc and 'sometimes women falin love with men sometimes women...etc. It would be a good head start on the other sort of nonsense that circulates.

Do we know what IS actually planned on this curriculu?

I think they need to start thinking about relationships in advance of secondary school - they start thinking in terms of dates and partners /bf/gf then.

I agree with Blu: these kids are living in a culture that saturates them with distorted images of sex and sexuality. A bit of factual information and guidance is a really good idea.

And indeed, what about the gay 11 year olds? I'd hate those poor children to think that they were feeling something Unfathomable and Wrong.

Personally I think the sooner you start teaching children about healthy relationships the better. It's as important as healthy eating or brushing your teeth. And children need to learn that healthy relationships can come in many different forms.

If you don't teach children about homosexuality it becomes taboo and that's when you get intolerant, irritating children who throw the word 'gay' around the playground as though it were a Really Bad word.

Hmm. I'm fairly sure our 10-yr-old son is gay. He already knows the word as an insult from playground teasing. A bit of balance from trusted adults would be a welcome relief.

I am a Science and don't mind teaching morals as well as mechanics. I am very prudish.

• Science teach

(and I didn't realise that this thread was an oldie).

third time lucky - Science teacher