Do I mention this or just leave it?

[islandofsodor]

A few weeks ago ds had an accident at school that required a trip to A & E. Things turned nasty, the wound got infected and turned into cellulitus and he was this close to being admitted to hospital for intravenous antibiotics. He needed almost 2 weeks off school.

At the time I put it down to one of this things, he is 4 years old and 4 year olds do fall over. However tonight he was talking about what happened and it turned out that another little reception boy actually pushed him up the stone steps on which he cut his head open. His little friend confirms this.

My feeling is that all this time after the event I should leave it. At the time there was a LOT of blood and the teachers just dealt with him, getting him to the school nurse, comforting him etc. For all I know the other little boy may have been dealt with unknown to me. We were called into school but our main concern was ds and his injuries. On the other hand it would be understandable if in the rush to look after ds the actual cause of the accident was overlooked.

Dh on the other hand who is a teacher himself thinks we should mention this to ds's teacher. Ds is very small for his age and dh witnessed another little boy push him down a grass bank one day last week after school.

I would tell them. The little boy who hurt your child needs to be disciplined for this and needs to know that it's not acceptable to behave this way. Don't let him get away with this. They will keep an eye out aswell but you do need to tell them, even if it was a few weeks ago.

I hope your little one is feeling better.

I think I wouldn't specifically mention the event because it was a long time ago and boys do play rough, but maybe just have a general chat with the teacher aobut your ds and whether he/she feels that he has problems due to being small?

I think mention it as gently as possible - as you say, it may well have been dealt with in the meantime, but that hasn't been confirmed to you and even if they think it's too late after the event to take it up with teh other boy, better they know.

Thinking about it we were definetely told that ds FELL up the steps, not that he was pushed and I think we would have been told even if they didn't actually name the child.

I can't really expect the child to be disciplined now though can I. Don't children of that age have to be punished immediately or they don't realise what it is they did?

Sorry, but I disagree with you Phantom. It's much too late to discipline the other child.

By all means mention it to the teacher in conjunction with the incident your dh saw, but it would be completely wrong to expect the teacher to discipline the other child after all this time.

I probably wouldn't mention it, unless your ds has said that the same boy is particularly targetting him?

kids do play rough, and do push each other. and it may have been an accident. after this long they can't do much about it anyway,
but agree with emkana about having a chat with the teacher

i would mention it casually to the teacher, maybe linger around when all other kids gone and just casually say something like
" ds was talking about how he hurt his head and said little jonny pushed him, i just wanted to make you aware of this and ds friend also confirmed this". as they havent actually told you how it happend due to the confusion of going to the hospital.

Yes, boys do play rough (ds included)but not up these steps. They are quite steep and lead from the classroom up to the playground.

I think they are dangerous to be honest.

It may be both things - he may have fallen up the stairs, and the boy may have pushed him/fallen against him.

I think you are unlikely to ever know exactly what happened, unless the teacher was standing beside your ds when it happened.

Ok. Not discipline. But they do need to watch him though incase he does this again. I would still mention it.

I would be a bit wary of acting on something said by a 4 year old about something that happened a few weeks ago. Even if he's remembering what happened perfectly, it's too long ago to bring it up with the other child. I would just let it go if I were you. Pushes and horseplay are part of life. I'm sorry your ds got hurt - it's horrible when something like this happens, but,as I said, I would let it go.

I'd leave it, assuming it was an isolated incident. Sorry that your DS got so badly hurt, but at this distance no one is going to know if it was deliberate or accidental or what.

I had to sign an accident form for my DS (4) the other day because he'd banged his nose and they'd put a cold compress on it. Teacher didn't know how he did it as was at lunchtime.

DS's explanation "another boy pulled me off the climbing frame so I hit my nose".

And just as DH is about to go into school all guns blazing we get the follow on explanation

" we were playing sharks and X was trying to catch me and he got my coat and I was trying to get away and banged my nose on the climbing frame"

4 year olds don't always get the subtleties of their explanations.

If it were me I would want to register (even if just in passing with the teacher) the possibility that X child might have pushed your DS.

I would not expect that child to be disciplined so long after the incident, but it might help to form a fuller picture if that child did something similar in future and did require disciplining.

It was a helluva long time ago but when I was in the first year at primary school there were similar steps and the infants were categorically not allowed on them during playtime without a teacher present. If there are similar incidents in future, correctly and fully recorded, then the school could be encouraged towards a similar policy if it's feasible.

Oh, and if it were my child who had pushed another child and caused them such an injury, I would definitely want to know about it!