Terrible Parents Evening

[Xena]

DS well behaved generally. But doesn't listen to instructions about his work so then dosen't do it right. He is going into the Juniors in Sept and she said that he would have to work hard to get the national average (2b??). She says there is nothing more we can do at home. The thing that bothers me is that this time last year he was doing really well and was up in the top quarter of his class.

don't worry too much, those SATs are more important for school results than your son. He's only 6/7. They keep promising to abolish those tests, the sooner the better. I have a DD the same age and having been through them twice with other kids am not going to stress about them. As long as he's happy.

Thing is he isn't to happy as he thinks the teacher is always telling him off, she says shes just pointing things out to him. We've already said that we wouldn't worry about how well he is doing in comparision to the others but he hasn't really improved this school year.

It's a difficult age really, especially for little boys. They are suddenly expected to sit still and work really hard. Y2 is a sudden jump from play to work. It's possibly (IMO)one of the hardest years for children in primary school. Try not to worry too much, things will improve (esp next year when they aren't worrying about league tables). Sometimes the kids don't hit it off with particular teachers either. `I hope I don't sound too flippant. Keep talking with the teacher and see if there are other ways for her to point things out to your son so that he doesn't feel told off. I'm sure it will sort itself. I certainly hope so anyway.

Thanks MTMML I am hoping that it will sort itself out when he gets a new teacher. He seems to find things abit difficult in general ATM just knowing how to behave. Thanks for you advice we haven't been through this before as he is our eldest

Hi Xena,
i was telling TMP on Wednesday that I felt really negative after my meeting with dd1's teachers. They seem to stress the bad first -"she doesn't push herself", "she is lazy" and then mention at the end -when you're totally depressed what a nice, reliable, funny, popular girl she is. They said she was at the top of level 1 but that means bog all to me.
My dh says 'they are only little kids, for god sake! All they 're interested in is power rangers and Barbie-what do they care about achieving the national average!!"
I have to agree with him as long as ds+dd are happy why lay this sort of stress on them.
I had to have extra maths at primary because I was considered 'behind' but I achieved cse grade 1, and went on to get A'levels and a degree!

I think that our main worry was that she says he has hardly improved this year. Personally I think that it is down to her though she is his teacher and there is only a limited amount we can do at home. They need sometime just to be children without having to do extra at home.

They're not very sensitive these teachers are they? I hope Ds didn't hear her say that-surely he needs praise and encouragement for any improvement no matter how small.

My DD is only 6 and in Yr 1 so I'm no expert but from the playground mum's I gather that it's quite common to have a bad year, ie Yr 1 is all great then Yr 2 hits them hard or Reception is a struggle then the child settles into Yr 1 wonderfully. Could this be the case with your DS? They do say Yr 2 is hard work compared to Yr 1 and maybe he'll have a great Yr 3!

I'm sure school was fun when I was 6 and I don't recall national tests at that age - I think times have changed and not necessarily for the better.

He'll do you proud, don't doubt it.

hi xena, i'm a yr2 teacher and i would really like to reassure you... children dont learn in a steady upward line... IYKWIM they tend to peak and plateau and maybe dip. the jump from y1 to y2 is huge especially for boys, as mars lady says!
as far as supporting him at home... i would disagree with the teacher, as i think there is always something you can do even if its to widen his knowledge, making links between subjects, and not necessarily stretch him vertically (not literally ) i dont necessarily agree with buying the sats books etc... as they can make you worry even more and may make him resent the extra work.
make sure you read as often as you can and if he doesnt enjoy reading the school book find something he does want to read... comics, recipes, instructions for models, games, tv guide, the newspaper... anything and talk about what he is reading! play lots of old fashioned board games, where you have to count, reason etc.. also things like i spy using more complex beginnings or endings, or the parsons cat... also things like i went to the shops and i bought...will be great for his memory and listening, anything where you can extend his language and make him focus. make links between numbers, words, letters etc you see around you to things which are more familiar.
did the teacher say there was a particular area of weakness or difficulty apart from the listening?
as for the listening... i think its a really common problem, partic amongst boys(sorry all those with sons!) try giving him simple tasks as part of your daily life that he has to do.. i.e can you go and put this by the front door, bedroom etc.. and when he can master 1 instruction... give a 2 step one, and praise him, really over the top!!! sick making i know but it does work!
Above all, try not to worry, as it will sort itself out, if you are still worried go back and speak to the teacher
hope it helps..

meant to say that SATs are not the be all and end all!

Thanks MP27. DS doesn't go half an hour at home without reading his Beano and enjoys monopoly. As I mentioned he does seem to be going through a difficult faze anyway. The teacher must have listened to my concerns about his reactions to homework (tantrums etc) I told her that its a black cloud over our weekend. So she has set him easier work and he managed to complete in the 20 mins she set for him rather than the 2hrs it has been taking. This in its self has reasured me that she took on board my comments too

Decided to go and talk to the head about why he was slipping from being ahead to being behind and he said he'd get back to us. We recieved a letter today that said he had already done his practice sat and 2b was the lowest he had scored and 3b was the highest so in other words there is nothing to worry about the teachers assesment was way out (she only had him down as an average 1a). Why do you think she was so out?

I think it must be that your ds performance in class is totally unconnected to his actual ability. Maybe he just doesn't like this particular teacher and doesn't "want" to work for her?

as you say he will probably be fine with the next teacher. not all kids do well with all teachers, but the good news is that they change each year...

I am hoping that the next teacher will 'inspire him' more

Agree with CAM, my ds had a dreadful teacher when hr started school, constantly picked on him and some other boys (loved little girls though!) Has done much better with subsequent teachers.

My twopenneth, with teacher's hat on, by the way I was very when I read your post, must try to stay calm.

Firstly, the "there is nothing more you can do at home" is insulting frankly. It's like saying don't bother, as his teacher, I've written him off this year , so as his parents, you should do the same. I'm really shocked by it tbh. There are always activities willing parents can do with their child.

If you can show that your son was doing consistently well prior to entering this class, but has fallen behind whilst in it, then go back in for another meeting and discuss those concerns with her.

I don't know the ins and outs, but I suspect this teacher has undermined his confidence in himself. Therefore it's v important that you carry on boosting his confidence at home.

Sometimes, the problems are not all with the pupil - like every profession, amongst the brilliant and good and good enough teachers, there are mediocre and poor ones.

I am cross with the teacher also. But was pleased by the Head Teacher was very welcoming and pleased that we had come to him. It would make me more likly to suggest approaching him to other parents.

Xena - I didn't see your post about seeing the Head - I do hope that has put your mind at rest.

really glad you are now feeling more hopeful, xena. Agree with Puffthemagic that it's dreadful for a teacher to say there is nothing more you can do for your ds at home.

From my own experience of seeing my oldest son got through primary school, his progress hasn't always been predictable and smooth. He had (IMO) some poor good teaching in year 2 and was very bad at concentrating and following instructions. When he moved schools at the beginning of year 3 we were told his performance was 'just average' and he was put in middle to lower sets for all subjects. This was still the teacher's view at the end of year 3, though they suspected he has more ablity than he was showing. By the end of year 4 the teachers seemed to think he was more able than they realised, and as his behaviour slowly settled down, he was moved to the middle then to the top sets. He passed the 11+ and next year, will be going to a grammar school. I always felt he had some abliity, but would not have confidently predicted this outcome when he was in year 2.

Well done to that boy for passing the 11 plus Tigermoth!