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Original poster

What to do about dd's homework this weekend - opinions needed!

53 replies

seeker · 28/09/2008 07:35

We have a silly weekend going on. It was dd's school fete yesterday and dd volunteered to help. She was there from 10 in the morning til 5, working her socks off. She then had a party in the evening. This morning she has a trampolining competition, and this afternoon is a very long planned trip to the zoo with several other families we don't see very often.

DD planned to come home on Friday and get straight on with her work and get it all done. BUT the bus broke down, she didn't get home til 7, and so she only got about half done.

Whhat do we do about the rest? I realize I could have said no to the party, but it was with her old friends from Primary school and she misses them badly. She has to do the competition - she's part of a team. And the zoo - there's a baby elephant - she CAN"T niss that!!!

She will do her learning work at the competition - but she has two written pieces to do as well. I don't want her to go to bed late tonight - she'll be shattered as it is. So. Do I a) get her to do it and go to bed late? b) write a note asking her to be given an extension c) do some of it for her or d) say she can't go to the zoo.

I SOOOOOOOO hate homework. And I do think that if the school wanted help at the fete that should have given a homework amnesty to the volunteers! She's in year 8, by the way.

OP posts:
cafebistro · 28/09/2008 07:42

How reasonable/ approachable is her teacher?
If the teacher is understanding I would probably write her a letter and ask if it could be handed in on Tues.
Otherwise you may have to do some of it now before competition and the rest after the zoo later.

andyrobo237 · 28/09/2008 07:44

I think that you should get her to do as much as she can spread out over today and then write a note for teacher saying she will hand it in on Tuesday. If she can demonstrate that she had at least done half of it, then it doesnt look like a poor excuse. I think they have to take responsibility for themselves when at senior school - it is expected by teachers.

georgimama · 28/09/2008 07:47

Sory, homework is more important than trampolining or a visit to the zoo. I think it is really wrong to give your children the impression that they have to do their homework and meet deadlines, unless mummy decides they don't have to because it doesn't fit in with family arrangements. Do you think writing a note to teacher will work when she is in sixth form, or at university?

Poor teachers, no wonder they have such a nightmare time.

This makes me .

SqueakyPop · 28/09/2008 07:47

She should do her homework.

SqueakyPop · 28/09/2008 07:49

DS has a world (juniour) trampoline champion in his class, and she doesn't get to miss any homework. She has to catch up with classwork she misses while she is away on competitions too.

Original poster
seeker · 28/09/2008 07:50

I didn't really mean it when I said doing it for her was a option (smile) - but one of the things is creating an information poster about Martin Luther - and I could find her some pictures and print them off for her.

OP posts:
Original poster
seeker · 28/09/2008 07:51

georgimama - did you actually read my post?

OP posts:
georgimama · 28/09/2008 07:53

Yes of course I read it, that's why my post is about my opinion on your daughter's homework. What about my opinion was unclear?

How predictable that you would come back firing all barrels because I think your daughter's homework should be done on time (and not handed in on Tuesday), rather than trampolining or going to the zoo.

The fete is a red herring, she chose to do that.

Original poster
seeker · 28/09/2008 07:54

So she should let the rest of her team down should she?

She is a hard working and committed student at school - shew always does her work and I always support her and the school. That, by the way is why we both spent all of Saturday helping at the fete. I don't think I said anything that could lead anyone to believe otherwise.

OP posts:
roquefort · 28/09/2008 07:55

This is really about time management and is an important skill to learn. None of the events you talk about were unforeseeable so she must find a way to fit in her homework. Otherwise you will find you have these issues regularly and they will get worse as she goes up the school.

Original poster
seeker · 28/09/2008 07:56

She did. That was why she was going to do it on Friday night (usually her night off.)

OP posts:
georgimama · 28/09/2008 07:56

Well, you should have thought about that before you made arrangements which make it impossible for her to fulfill her commitments to the team and to do her homework on time. You arranged all these things for one weekend, you must have known she would have homework to do (and I don't think scheduling Friday evening for her to do it when she was probably tired anyway was a particularly good idea).

Don't get cross with me, you asked what people thought and I told you what I think.

EustaciaVye · 28/09/2008 08:11

You should have given her the choice which activity she missed to get the homework done.

As it stands the only thing left to miss is the zoo if you feel she wont get it done tonight. I agree she shouldnt hand it in late with a reason of bad time management.

Sometimes things get late for unavoidable reasons. If she isnt going to miss the zoo then she should at least take some with her to do on the way there and back (if possible).

HonoriaGlossop · 28/09/2008 08:20

That sounds like a hell of a lot of homework for one weekend, for a child in year 8.

She has got a weekend full of interesting, rich things to do. It's not as if she just hasn't bothered or has spent the weekend shopping or playing computer games. And you know your family best; if this is a very unusual occurrence, of COURSE it's ok to write a note to the teacher.

SqueakyPop · 28/09/2008 08:25

Two written pieces of homework is not a lot over a weekend. It's not a lot for any and al nights during the week either.

Lemontart · 28/09/2008 08:26

sorry seeker, as an ex secondary school teacher, I am with georgimama (and the others) on here.
She might have had a busy weekend, but her homework is important. Two written pieces for year 8 I would imagine could only take about 30 mins to an hour each. Time management is important. I am sure that you did not plan to get the kids up and out of the door within ten minute of breakfast and then at the end of the day, straight into bed. Do you really not have half an hour/hour before leaving for the competition now and time later/tomorrow morning?

Ok so she helped out all day yesterday - great. But she was home at 5 with a busy day planned for today. I wonder whether letting her go to the party when she had all that lined up and outstanding hmwk was a good idea? Could she not have gone half an hour later and got another piece out of the way? Or even better, come home a little earlier so she could get up fresh and wide awake this morning to get up to do it then?

When I was a kid, I was heavily into music and had several after school lessons, nightly several hours practise and almost every weekend would be taken up with orchestras, rehearsals, long trips around the company in concerts, masterclasses etc etc Also, most half terms would be away at a masterclass/camp usually away from home and ending in a late ride back on the Sunday evening after a long performance. We all used to work around it as our homework always had to come first. It was tough but you learn to manage time. I remember half term weeks where you would be given the odd afternoon off and everyone stretched out on the grass revising/doing homework. It just had to be done. My mum taught me this little phrase "make time not excuses" and it stuck.

Lemontart · 28/09/2008 08:28

I agree - not a lot of homework for Yr 8 - normal workload. As an ex teacher, can I add that if I read a letter from a parent using a school 10-5 voluntary event, a party and a trip to the zoo to see a baby elephant as a "valid" excuse not to complete my homework, I would not be impressed at all and would def consider putting the child into a couple of days lunch time detentions to provide them with the opportunity to catch up on their missed work.

SqueakyPop · 28/09/2008 08:28

"Make time, not excuses" - that's good, Lemon.

canofworms · 28/09/2008 08:32

Can't you go to the zoo late after she's done her homework?

Still gets to see the elephant and friends that way?

I agree, homework must be done

bloss · 28/09/2008 08:51

Message withdrawn

tortoiseshell · 28/09/2008 09:01

Am a bit at the responses on the thread.

I have sympathy as, although my kids are MUCH younger, we do sometimes struggle to fit the homework in. And I remember how hard it was sometimes to fit in homework if I had a particularly busy week of concerts/rehearsals. It IS a skill she needs to learn if she is going to be busy outside school, but 12 is quite young to do this - I well remember my teachers saying 'YOU MUST LEARN TO SAY NO' when they realised that yet again I had filled up my time with concerts and rehearsals.

However, your dd couldn't have known the bus would break down on Friday (and again, I know exactly how it feels to have lost your only slot for getting something done) - and not many posters on the thread seem to have read the bit about the bus.

I think what I would do is to try and fit in the homework in gaps in today, and she could get up early tomorrow to finish it. And on future busy weekends, have a cast-iron 'get homework done' plan.

robinpud · 28/09/2008 09:04

def what bloss said

HonoriaGlossop · 28/09/2008 09:05

seeker, you're her parent and you can take the long view about when and how she learns these 'key skills'. I have to say I think alot of the posts here are incredibly sanctimonious and po faced - we are talking about a year 8 girl here! Jeeeezus.

As i said, you're her parent, and you can balance all these things and come to your decision based on the issues that people here have mentioned and also other issues like as I said before, how often this happens, the stage of schooling she is at etc

SqueakyPop · 28/09/2008 09:11

Parents shouldn't be picking and choosing what homework gets done, or elect to do it for them. That is a deal between the school and students, which parents have agreed to uphold.

tortoiseshell · 28/09/2008 09:13

SqueakyPop - the OP said that suggesting doing it for her wasn't a serious suggestion.

But they HAD scheduled a time for the homework (Friday night) but the bus broke down. They couldn't have foreseen that. Yes the OP's dd needs to learn about time management, but to me it seems that she had tried to manage her time so the hw was all done before the wkend.