Anyone out there stressed about Year 7 entry for a dd or ds?!

[Foxyone]

My dd is currently in Year 6 at a private prep school and with a husband rapidly losing enthusiasm for another 7 years of fees for senior school (understandable really) we're trying everything to get dd into the local 'grammar' which is fab but fiendishly difficult to get a place at. Private tutor in place for entrance exam next month (she's bright) and also trying chorister audition, also next month. Not Charlotte Church bless her but singing teacher says does have a chance. Anyone out there been through this? Any tips or words of wisdom to alleviate stress much appreciated as struggling to think of much else at the moment.

Hi Christie,

Not alone then! Our school of choice had 350 applications for 12 places last year.....Good luck to both our DD's

My DS got a place 2 years ago at a school with about 150 applying for 18 places. Thankfully this means DD can go there this year under the sibling rule.
We applied in October, he took test in November then we had to wait until March for result. It was one of the most stressful times as a parent, even though we were fairly happy with second choice (not brilliant results, but I have not heard a bad word about it from existing parents).
This time we can relax and look round a few school for dd's sake, but I'm sure she wants to go to ds's school really.
Just tell her to do her best, that's all you can ask of her.

Forgot to say good luck to both your DDs

Thanks christwhisty.

We have told her just that and thankfully she is blissfully unaware of what's at stake so we are putting in some good acting performances on this one!

Good that she is unaware of your stress levels - it's a huge pressure if kids feel that. Sounds like you are handling it fine (on the surface at least!!), letting her know that she has an opportunity, with the auditions and things, but not making into the be all and end all. We all want our children to have the very best opportunities, but having a loving and supportive family is the most important thing. You are clearly a supportive and involved parent and tbh, even if she doesnt get into the grammar school, you will continue to be interested and involved in her schooling and the chances are she will be fine. I think your husband sounds very brave and honest to not want to give his life over to earning to pay school fees. If he ends up stressed and resentful it wont benefit any of you. Just relax, try to be chilled about it. The majority of children end up absolutely fine, without having the perceived 'advantages' of private or grammar school. And the children of parent who value the importance of education, and who will make the effort to be involved, have an even greater chance of ending up fine! My eldest has just started at our local comp. It's a very ordinary school in many ways, sound exam results, fairly broad mix of pupils, not out there at the top of the league tables but not a bad school either, and guess what? - she is happy, settled and I have every confidence she will do fine. DH and I both went to Uni, and if this is what she wants to do later on, then great, and I am sure she will get there. Just try to relax and acept that whatever route your dd takes, if you have belief in her then she is likely to shine.

Foxygone, ditto most of Janey68. Thing I would add is that when dd2 moved from prep to comp a year ago (also for financial reasons), the comp didn't include her in any of the activities designed to smooth the transfer cos she wasn't in a feeder school and they kept forgetting she existed. Sure this isn't the norm and it certainly didn't happen when DD1 went to grammar but it meant a very dodgy few months.

Having said all that, she is extremely happy there and if anything her confidence is increasing as she realises she's actually quite bright! Also, I've been amazed at the activities on offer (for free). She says she wouldn't go back to prep school...

Thanks for your message Janey68 - very kind and full of useful good old fashioned common sense. Both DH and I went to the local comp so we're aware they are not the pits of evil the tabloid press would sometimes have us believe. DD has heard something dodgy somewhere though about our local (and fairly well-rated) comp - and I quote: "I'd rather go to prison than go there Mummy!" Gulp! I guess when you put a child in prep school you end up with a prep school child!

foxyone - I went to a private girls' school and I genuinely beleived that comps were full of knuckle-dragging thugs. And then I met my comp-educated DH and I realise... I was right! No...not really. But I think it only takes one parent to say this sort of thing, it gets repeated in the class and after a while it's gospel.

I will confess to a quick frisson of anxiety when I had to look round schools last year in preparation for my eldest's move up. Old prejudices die hard!

Dear all,

She did it! Good luck to those of you still stressing, hang in there.

Great! Well done small foxyone.