So is this an example of a pushy parent?

[Moomin]

Met a woman I know from my younger days at a mutual friend's BBQ the other day. When she found out I was an English teacher she took me to one side to ask: would I be interested in privately tutoring her dd1 in English, in particular writing skills, as in making her creative writing more effective.

I asked her some more details and it turns out:
Her dd1 has been privately educated at a top local school throughout primary. In their SATs-style tests she gained the highest level.
She is due to start at another very prestigious private secondary school this week. When given feedback from the new school after the dd1 took the entrance tests, the new school commented that her English skills were very good, although creative writing was not as highly rated as other aspects.

Hence the request for extra lessons.

I told the mum that she should let her dd1 settle into the new school and see how she gets on with her new school, new English teachers and their expectations. If the mum still feels uneasy after half term she should speak to the school and then if still worried she could give me a ring then.

I think it's sooooooo , but there again I'm used to teaching a wide range of pupils in the state sector, some of whom genuinely struggle. Is she being pushy or am I being too at the very thought of it all?

I'd be quite happy teaching her, btw, if her mum wants me to. The mum is very nice really and the dd seems delightful. Just think the mum has some funny ideas maybe?

Seems that she wants her dd to be top at everything. Bit OTT if you ask me.

I ran into an old acquaintance today by chance. Her DS and my DS1 share a birthday and she has always compared them. I rather stupidly asked how her Ds was doing and she launched into a spiel about how he was best at this, almost top at that and, when she mentioned that he is now 5'10" (both she and her DH are tall), wanted to know how I felt about DS1 "not growing" - he's 14 and 5'4", which I don't feel is below average. I hope it's another 3 years before I chance upon her again.

Yes, because height has always been an accurate indicator of intelligence hasn't it?

Agree, think this woman I know is OTT. Probably feeling anxious that her dd1 will struggle to compete at this new school. Poor kid

Avoid Mums like this like a dose of STD

So do I Litchick!

It was a stealth attack. She overheard someone ask me what I was doing these days from right across the patio and then she pounced before I had chance to run away and I was trapped.

Yes this is prime example of Pushy Parent. Avoid at all costs.

Poor woman! Perhaps she doesn?t have a life!

Now I am worried about my DS who is going into year 3 and his writing is eligible, he doesn?t form his letters correctly, his reading is not brilliant because he doesn?t like it!

As I worked in year 3 last year and saw what they had to do for their bloody SATS I am worried (ish)

Pushy parent alert. Give a wide berth!!

Mrs Weasley - please please don't be worried about the SATs. You must know from your work in Y3 that they're not worth the paper they're printed on. The SATs results are for the schools and the govt league tables, NOT for the pupils. Your ds's teacher will hopefully get the best out of him throughout the year and it will be his/her assessment of your ds that counts and actually means anything.

Moomin yes I know the value, or lack of, of SATS but I also know what the teachers were saying about them last year. I hate SATS and if I didnt agree with not taking my DCs out of school for holidays I would make sure I took them out at SATs week!

I am not too worried really I keep saying he will get there eventually. I just feel for him because his older siblings are quite bright and so the teachers expect him to be. All these lovely threads about Home Education are playing on my mind I think

He is moving to a new school with a brand new teacher who doesnt know his siblings so I'm sure he will be ok.

There is an article about pushy parents in The Times today this page
The parents seem a nightmare!

pushy! very sad for little girl to put so much pressure on her. A friend of mine with a daughter the same age as mine (now aged 12) went to the same private school which was excellent. I just let my daughter get on with it and just supervised her prep etc. My friend however used to sit with her daugther and practically do it for her. she was always pushing her to be the top, the best at everything etc. A few years ago the daughter got caught cheating in a maths test and it turned out she was scared at not being top (poor little thing was only about 9!) Even in sport, she is constantly pushed, she is MADE to have tennis lessons every week and swimming so she can be the best. Spoke to my friend recently as we were trying to sort out a time for the girls to get together (my daughter was living abroad for the last two years and has just returned) but the mother said she was too busy between now and Christmas studying for a scholarship exam for a school she wants her to go next year when 13! her daughter is very emotional and even cries at school if she isn't the top in everything! very sad!

God , can't these people see what they're doing to their children? It's almost as bad as parents the other other end of the spectrum who ignore their kids completely

Definitely pushy and poisonous with it
We have someone like this in dd's year. Her child is, I would say, not a happy kid. God knows how the teachers handle her - she is not shouty but tenacious and obsessed only with her own child's progress and advantages over the other children in the class.
Yes he can read fluently at five; yes he has the interpersonal skills of a piece of wood, and no friends.

she sounds like a typical insecure pushy parent, feel sorry for her daughter. Unfortunately she'll probably turn out the same!

We'd probably be able to find out by now given it's two years since the OP Lori.

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