Just need to run this past someone DH working away this weekend and DC's go back to school on Tuesday, feeling a bit upset and not sure how to approach it.
DS1(6) has been looking forward to going back to school on Tuesday, really, really excited. Anyhow, he hasn't been feeling too well the last couple of days and I suppose is a little sensitive. He's dyspraxic and has just started seeing an OT type person (we're in France so not quite the same as UK) who is going to help him try and stop what he calls his "twirly whirlying", basically he has a pen, stick, anything in his hand and walks around telling stories to himself whilst twirling this stick in his fingers, he has always done it, it's a part of him. Anyhow at the end of last term he told me he wanted to stop twirly whirlying because it made him different to the other children at school, but he liked it. I got a referral to the OT and have told him she'll help him and I've said no more about the twirly whirlying, but have tried to keep him busy so that he "gets out of the habit of it" if you catch my drift.
Anyhow last night while I was preparing dinner he was sitting at the table talking to me and he started talking about twirly whirlying, and then all these tears arrived and he broke his heart and said he did it at school because nobody would play with him. When he asks if he can play they tell him to go away because he's stupid, when he goes to the canteen for lunch they put food in his water and he was crying saying how he had to drink his water with peas and potatoes in it. There are some lovely kids in his class and he goes to a playscheme on a Wednesday and I've seen him playing with them there no problems. What he told me is that there is one boy in the class, he's very popular and loud, the natural class leader, and speaking to a couple of the other mums they say their DC's say the same, anyhow this boy has decided that they're not allowed to play with DS because he's stupid and he's English! My son's French is really good now, but he's not fluent yet, I imagine by the end of this year he will be, their teacher last year must have seen something of this because DS told me that she'd told the class he was very clever because he can speak a bit of French and a lot of English.
The thing is I know DS can be a bit prickly, I don't know if it's the Dyspraxia thing but he can have a little trouble forming friendships. One of his English friends here came for a sleepover this week, and he was very mature compared to my DS although only 6 months older. Also, DS didn't behave well with him, he's really not good at sharing his toys and would have preferred nobody to play with the toys rather than share and I know I said to him on Tuesday that if you carry on like this nobody will want to play with you, so whether that has stuck in his head I don't know.
I'm not too sure what to do, the children have had 8 weeks of holidays so the classroom dynamics may have changed. They do have a parents evening on 27th September so I think it might be a good idea just to sit tight and see how the first few weeks go. DS and I have had a chat and I've told him that he needs to be pleasant and polite to everyone, say hello etc and think before he does something whether he would like someone to do that to him.
There's no point in speaking to the other boy's mum, I tried that last year, she's actually the only parent in the playground who refuses to acknowledge me when I say hello, it doesn't bother me, just makes me laugh, but then she has no relevance on my life whatsoever so it's easy for me.
I can't bring him home for lunch, school is is a 12 mile round trip, so the whole lunch hour would mean driving 24 miles every lunchtime, plus the dropping them off and picking them up every day, plus like everyone else these days, cash is tight and I can't afford the diesel to make an extra 2 trips into town a day. Packed lunches aren't allowed.
Sorry for this whole essay, I really worry about DS1 he's my PFB and it breaks my heart to see him as unhappy as he was last night. I realise a lot of it could have been to do with he wasn't feeling too well. He's woken up this morning and said I can't wait to go back to school on Tuesday it's boring being at home all the time, so I know it's not affecting him that much, but still, I just want to wrap him up in cotton wool and rip the heads off the kids who are being mean to him.
If anyone can offer me any advice that I can give him in how to deal with it, how to speak to the other children so that he can get involved in their games. Sometimes it's hard to see the wood from the trees when it's your own precious child who is hurting.