rich relative offering to pay for private school

[tonton]

I am flabbergasted. An elderly relative is considering paying for all the children in my family to be privately educated. Between us my brothers & sisters and I have 17 children in all. I have 2 kids myself. He's clearly a lot richer than I realised!

All my brothers & sisters kids are currently privately educated (primary or prep schools). I have always felt consious that DD1 doesn't have the opportunities (sport facilities, languages, arts, music etc) they have. On the other hand she mixes with a fantastic range of people and doesn't inhabit a posh ghetto.
She loves her state primary and I have no plan to move her until she finshes. But now I suppose I'd be mad to turn down the money and insist on sending her to a state secondary school as I had planned (there's no 'cash option' so it's have schools fees paid or nothing). I wouild only consider day school - we live in london so that won't be a problem.

DH (state educated) is worried that she will beconme a posh brat with flicky hair and a bad attitude! But I think he is secretly excited.

Anyone have an experience of going from state to private? She's above average in her class but I'm sure she'd be way behind privately educated kids. I'm a bit freaked out by the thought of putting her through all those entrance exams and interviews.

I think it's a very generous offer but my concern would be that the relative might feel entitled to a view on their upbringing and schooling because of paying the bills for school. I would think very carefully about whether that is likely and how/whether you would want to deal with that.

You make a good point Daisy. Presumably this relative must be placing a great deal of importance on this issue, for whatever reasons, and therefore the offer may come with strings attached. On reflection it does seem odd that someone would be happy to pay the entire fees without wanting some level of involvement. Depends how happy you are to have someone else calling the shots about your child.

yes - I know a couple who will not allow the grandparents to pay because they were interfering in the choice of school.

Have just written out my cheque for tomorrow and would consider some light 'interference' and small price.

A small price...obviously...unlike those flippin' fees.

Message withdrawn

Update : this turns out not to be true. Or at least it is true, but only for the boys! Girls don't need to be educated well apparently because they tend to get married and stop work. ha ha. I and both my sisters are the main breadwinners in our families as are both my favourite cousins and both my best friends. So there.
Well it's my relative's money and his choice. He just happens to be an out of date misogynist!

I was upset at first but to be honest it's funny. I'm quite happy to provide for my family myself - always have done. Never expected inheritances of handouts.

Just goes to show it is better to rely on yourselves. He's living in the 19th Century obviously. At least you've found out now - who would want to be beholden or tied in any way to someone like this!