What do you do if you think Pre-School nursery is a bad influence?

[Chiccadum]

I don't know what to do about dd1's nursery, she has learnt quite a bit but has also come home with a bit of swearing, the other day i told her off for messing with her dinner and i got the middle finger, she told me that a boy at school teaches her to swear, then, on Friday, my friend came round quite upset, her son who is the same age as my dd1 had come to greet her with a massive mark on his cheek, it looks like someone quoged their nails into his cheek, when questioned, non of the teachers could offer an explanation, this is not the first time i have been unhappy with this nursery, i sometimes wonder what the teachers actually do, they always seem to be on a tea break and not supervising the chlidren, i have considered removing dd1 but she loves going and has made friends but i am quite concerned, also, from past experience i find all the staff very unnapproachable, the headmistress shouts at you and makes you feel 3" tall.

If you are not happy then take them out, first try to find an alternative place elsewhere, but i think as soon as your child starts mixing with other kids then they are bound to pick up some of there bad habits, my son has picked up some choice words since he started pre-school tw*t being the worst, but if you do not feel the staff are compitent then move elsewhere. Good luck

Chiccadum, is this nursery the feeder for the school you hope dd1 will go to? Because if you have a choice, I would take her out once you have found her a place elsewhere. I agree with Breeze that they are bound to come home with some choice new phrases, but ds seems to be happy with calling everyone poo-poo face and building guns out of Duplo.
Does your daughter have a keyworker you can discuss her issues with (I'd leave the problem your friend had out, even the best nursery staff can bristle a bit if they think parents have been comparing notes/bite marks)? Or is this person no better than some of the staff you have reservations about?
OFSTED-approved nurseries are all meant to have a parents' handbook and policies on any number of things - including dealing with inappropriate language and behaviour from children. They should also have a complaints procedure that parents can feel confident in using without being belittled. I think you have a lot of grounds for concern here, and if you can pluck up courage to tackle the staff you may not need to move dd1.

One of my friends whose daughter used to go to the same as my dd also said she found the staff very unapproachable, on the only occasion she needed to speak to the headmistress she said she was made to feel small and was shouted at and treat like a 3 year old. My biggest grudge against the headmistress is that she told me I was too overprotective against my child (which i am no more than anyone else i have spoken to) and two days previous to her saying this there was an attempted abduction of a young girl down the road from us. If i were to look for another pre-school for my daughter would she still be accepted into the junior school i have signed her up for

To put your mind at rest give the school a ring, i do not see why she wouldn't be acceptable.

If there was an ettempted abduction then you have got every right to be over-protective of your child, you must feel that your child is safe, luckily at sons pre-school they are all nice and approacable especially his key-worker who ds is very fond of. The more i hear the more its sounds as though they are not doing a good job, look around and move them, just make sure when you do you tell them exactly why you are moving, maybe send a letter to the hueadmistresses boss.

Chiccadum,
I really regret sending my eldest two to the first nursery school they attended. In fact, they were picking up so many undesirable influences of the sort that you mentioned that we took them out of that school in the end. We felt that the teachers were pretty unprofessional too. The last straw was sexual harassment of both dd and ds in the playground. When I complained to the teachers, they obviously didn't think it was anything to worry about, and I was left with the distinct impression that they weren't going to bother to do anything about it.
How does your dd feel about the school? Does she really like it, or is it just that she thinks all schools are like that? My daughter seemed happy enough at the nursery school, but when we got her into a much better school which she really enjoyed, we could see the difference.
At her new school, the teachers actively insisted on good behaviour from the children, (in a nice way of course) and I was impressed with how well behaved the children were, although they came from exactly the same catchment area as the other school.

Hi Chiccadum - To me you should most defanatly change centers. Trust your instincts. No matter how happy your dd is you as a parent have to feel confident that the nursery is the right place for your child. From your post it doesnt sound that way.

Are these workers on the young side? I mean close to just getting out of high school. Most of the centers I worked at that had a younger staff tend to make there place of work more of a hangout with friends then a place of employment.

I taking it that a headmistress is the operator/owner of the center? If she isnt running the place in a proper way then I doubt the staff are doing what is expected of them. Godd luck with whatever you decide.

All the staff who work there are at least in their mid 30's, one teacher who i don't like in particular is very old school and thinks children should be seen and not heard. My dd came out with another cracker today, when i told her to be quiet as i was on the phone she just said P* Off. Although my dh does understand how i feel, he says that the children she is with now are the same children who are going to be going to her next school, we cannot change her next school because of this catchment area thing. I've worked it out that at the most she will have 5 months left. I also know for a fact that i am the only one who does not agree with some of their policies, it is the only nursery i have ever heard of that will not let parents stay whilst their children are having their photos taken.

I think a lot of the problems are with the adults not the children, where my son goes to play-school we do parent rota and one session every half term we stay and help out, do they have anything like that there?, maybe you can ask to stay, the more you tell us the more it sounds as though you definately need to move your child somewhere else.

They won't let me because i am a very outspoken person and if i see something i do not think is right especially when it comes to children and family i will say so. I have already had disagreements about the way they run things, i am annoyed at present as dd1 is been taught by various stand in teachers as her normal teacher is ill, personally i would like to know who is supposed to be dealing with dd1.

Chiccadum, Has anything improved on this?. I am sure this is one of the many things that are keeping you awake.

Take Care XXX

I took dd1 to school every day and picked her up every day except Friday and she was with a different person each time (some of them are just helpers), I only know her teachers name but wouldn't know what she looks like or anything.

Is it me being picky, or should I be told who is looking after her each day, and should I ( and all the other parents whose children are in her class) have been introduced to her teacher or not

Yes I think that they should tell you, my Ds at play-school has one key-worker and she makes a point of talking to us at least once a week with any comments/concerns she may have. We are lucky because she is a lovely lady, and we often see her down town and she will make a point of coming up and saying hello.
Hope it gets sorted soon.