Teachers: Add your embarrassing lesson scenarios here.

[kiskidee]

Me first:

I teach in an all boys' comp.

One day a Yr 11 got out of his seat, picked up something off the floor, walked slowly and confidently towards me, saying loudly and clearly: 'Miss, I think this belongs to you.'

It was a tampon.

your response: 'thanks J, do you know what it is?'

at worst he then says: 'yes miss, for when you are on the rag'

you then reply; 'well done, J, your girl friends will appreciate you one day.'

I think all i could muster was: Thanks! I was wondering where that went. With a big grin but still think 'oh no' inside.

Totally true.
I was teaching in a mixed school. the kids were 16/17, nice bunch. They were fairly hyped up after lunch so we had a relaxing lead in to the lesson. I walked around the class, speaking to the children individually and noticed that they were getting more and more hysterical. Some were crying with laughter. I leaned back against my desk saying calm down, what's got in to you all?

I had my zip down, and big white silky knickers poking out the zip.

I gave out to the girls for not telling me - and it was hilarious but I did think that parents would think I was a perv!!

I once taught a group of 16 year olds the anatomy of the heart.

I explained how you must first examine the outside of the heart to see the external anatomy and the coronary arteries that supply the heart muscle itself with blood.

I then explained how you find the major vessels, and that you should put your finger inside and feel where the vessels lead. Which they did.

What I had forgotten is that the inside of the heart is ridged muscle and to a hormone charged boy feels just like the inside of the vagina.

Cue utter hysteria from them and me!

I (as a TA) got the job of telling a male teacher that his flies were undone - three Year 9 girls had noticed. It took me three attempts as the first two times I started laughing before I got to the front of the class & had to turn it into a walk round the class. He went SO red!

i'm not a teacher, but my driving instructor was also a diving instructor. He told me about a lesson where he was trying to help a teenage pupil's technique and he ended up shouting to her, 'X, I want you to give me more HEAD!' The lesson dissolved after that.

Teaching a class of 14 year old girls, I wrote public on the board but forgot the 'l'. I only noticed when they were suspiciously quiet, and had to find an excuse to clean the board rapidly.