Daughter worried grandson will miss feeder secondary school after moving house

[Nanof1boyand1ontheway]

Hi all. Any advice please
daughter & grandson lived with us for 1st 7years, so grandson went to nearby primary school. In school year 3 daughter finally got housing association place after a long wait. But it's on other side of the City. She took it because of already waiting for 8yrs. She kept grandson in same primary because she worked over this side of city and we are here for childcare etc. She thought she would get him into the feeder secondary school when time came by using our address as she didn't change it with the primary school. However, he's now in year 5 & she's discovered that they do stricter checks than just council tax bill which she obviously used ours for primary school. The feeder secondary school is where friends will go but its not as good as the secondary school in catchment area where he lives now. She'd be lying in reverse lol like where others lie to get kids into better secondary school she's lying to get him into worse! I know people who sent their kids to different secondary school from friends & they all say their kids are doing fine. My daughter is worried sick and thinks the boy will be all alone at break & get bullied etc. I think he should go to the better school as its round the corner from her place, it's better in ranks than other school, and no lying involved. But she's getting too worked up about it. Sorry for not using abbreviations I'm new to this

Shes just overprotective. She's had a bad time with his dad & wraps the boy in a bubble but he's a lovely kid happy sociable and very caring his teachers love him I think hel be fine. He could get bullied at any school and he could end up in the year 7 of feeder school with nobody he hangs around with at the moment
Out of interest why do you ask if she's young?

@Nanof1boyand1ontheway I had a horrific time at school. My parents were visited by the truant officer because I just didn't want to go in, had panic attacks etc. My parents made me attend a Catholic school 2 bus rides away from home. I hated every minute of every day.

Schools are very different now with helping children transition. The planner they are given to write their homework in etc lists all the important information for things like bullying and I specifically chose an incredible school that wasn't just academically high ranking but also amazing pastoral care and a hard line on behaviour. I didn't want my children to hate school. Both my children did experience more than one bullying situation and each time school dealt with it harshly and it stopped immediately. If the bullying escalates from the initial incident then the punishment just becomes even worse for the bully.

I wanted a local school, hence the move, because I wanted them to walk up to school and see the same people and most kids want to walk up with someone so they just walked together and just chatted from there. It also means they can meet up with mates and walk to their house.

My friend's son went up to the feeder school with his best mates from primary and within 2 weeks he was on his own because they had made new friends. It can happen at any school, local or further from home. I would just keep talking to her, maybe remind her of her own school days and contact the school in her area about their transition stuff for year 7s. Information may help her see sense.

Shes bonkers to want to send her children to a poorly performing school due to primary school friends.

When kids go to secondary school there’s a massive shift in friendship groups. Not only because kids cow up and grow apart but mainly because secondary schools deliberately mix the kids up. They don’t just put all the kids from a particular primary school together. They’re mostly put into completely different tutor groups that have opposite time tables to each other, so the kids who were together at primary are rarely together at secondary.

Your daughter is being given such a great opportunity. A new home based in a location that gives her children access to the best school in the area. She needs to be thinking about her children’s future. It’s way more important that they get the opportunity for a better education than they have the possibility of sitting next to little Billy from Year 3!

The advise here is don’t look a gift horse in the mouth!

i think it’s a win win really. It sounds like most people locally will put the higher ranking school first and hope for a miracle whereas your daughter can put the lesser ranked school first and stand a chance of getting it.

first choice - the lesser ranked school she would prever
secind choice - her catchment school

Job done. I suspect she’ll get the one she wants. I assume her child can easily get to the school she would prefer? The council dont have to provide any transport for schools outside of catchment, so that will be on your daughter to organise/fund.

You just request the school you want as number 1 and the nearer school number 2. If the number 1 isn’t full they get the place, if it’s oversubscribed they look at different criteria as per. Birth rate is lower for his year so don’t discount places being available

I think you’re using feeder school inaccurately - a feeder school will give priority and are rare in most areas. If it is a feeder, your dgs may have priority anyway. I think you’re using feeder to mean most children will go to the local secondary school from there.

Your daughter MUST use her address to apply. She should put the secondary school near you as her first choice IF that is her first choice, and the nearby secondary as her second choice. Putting her first choice down won’t affect her son’s chances of getting the nearby school.

That said, for various reasons, many children go to secondary schools knowing very few other children, and they are normally fine.

I don’t understand this. She can’t lie about her address but she can put feeder school as first choice and the closest as second if she wants.
It could reduce her chance of getting either though.

But she should properly think about what is best for her son in the long run and not just the first week. He can make new friends.

Also, she needs to update her address with the primary school asap.

My son is going to a school which takes children from nearly one hundred different secondary schools. (This is normal in Liverpool as we have so many religious schools). He's had a one on one with a teacher, a transition day in July, a three day transition summer school and they're going on a year 7 residential in October. Schools do loads of work to support kids to make friends.

Gosh! I thought my DD school with 35 feeder schools (4 form entry, only 20 in each class though) was mixed enough (we live in a small town but her school is more rural, so there will be 6-8 schools from our town and a load of village schools, another 6-8 from another small town etc.)
They also have emphasised transition and she's had a great experience including a day or two of summer school the last week of August last year (she's going into Y8).

Do not get me started on the Liverpool school system, it's ridiculous. Over half our schools use religion (so a religious child miles away gets a place above a local child with no religion). Several use total lottery with no catchment. One is a grammar (with no catchment so kids travel from Warrington or Preston) and some Liverpool kids also go to Wirral grammars. We have Catholic, Anglican, Jewish and will soon have a Muslim school. I think kids in my son's year at primary are going to about 15 different schools. It's so stressful, especially if you aren't religious.

She shouldn't be trying to lie to get him into a school. If the secondary he wants is not generally though of as great, he'll probably get a place there even though he lives far away.