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What can I do....

4 replies

Flowertop · 24/06/2008 12:59

I have posted on DS1 all through the years due to really the same reasons. He is 9 and was always unhappy in his infant/junior school so we made the decision last year to change to independant whereby he would get more help with his studies. At first he was happy making friends but as time has gone on he is once again the child who others are horrible to. He is an extremely non agressive child and will avoid any type of confrontation. The problem is he walks around with his head down, shuffling along and talking quietly to his peers. I have tried to talk to him about how the way we carry ourselves can have a big impact on how others perceive us and also that even if he feels that he has no confidence through pretending he has it will come. He will not go to any kind of activity and avoids any social interaction with others. We started karate 18 months ago with a view to help him with his confidence and although he enjoys it it has not helped. I am at my wits end. Had to go into school blazing last week as some child had stabbed him in the hand with a pencil. He said to me this morning that everyone hates him and basically seems very depressed. I don't want to keep changing schools as I truly believe that until he can become more assertive with others the problem will just follow him. I have tried all the doing things he is good at but he seems to turn away at everything I try to do. He loves football but unfortunately is not selected for the team which batters his confidence even more. In fact he never gets selected for anything and I actually feel really depressed for him as can't seem to help. His brother is the opposite. Any suggestions/experiences would be great to hear.
Thanks for listeningXX

OP posts:
gobbledy · 24/06/2008 14:12

Felt so sorry reading your post - I was bullied at school and it was a dreadful experience. What is the school doing to help? Do they have an anti-bullying policy? Ours does, and it will provide a pupil mentor for anyone experiencing problems. That would have helped me so much at his age.

My DS is much younger but also quiet and does karate to help with confidence. What about drama? A friend of mine took her sn son to a drama therapist who was able to help with his self-esteem issues.

Have you seen your GP to ask for help? Its perfectly possible for a child of that age to be depressed and would be understandable. This is not his fault, but I just felt so sorry reading about him and sorry for you too. xx

Flowertop · 24/06/2008 17:02

Gobbledy thanks for your reply. Did your friend have one2one therapy with the drama therapist and do you know how she/he found out about them.
Thanks
XX

OP posts:
gobbledy · 24/06/2008 17:43

Yes, one to one drama therapy was suggested by his school as they had had success in the past with it (bullying/bereavement/home issues). He wouldn't have been able to attend a group initially as he had such low confidence. He now attends a drama group instead of one to one sessions. Maybe your GP or childrens' services would be able to suggest someone in your area?

cornsilk · 24/06/2008 17:48

the school need to take some responsibility for developing his social skills. What have they said about it?

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