Daughter unable to attend her graduation ceremony as it is full. Advice please

[mildlyfried]

My daughter has just finished a three year Bsc (hons) at a major University. She has been advised that she cannot attend her graduation ceremony as it is full and she is on a waiting list. All the other ceremonies are at capacity too. She has been told that if a place does not become available then she can either try to graduate in November without her friends or have her certificate posted to her for a £10 fee.

To say we are upset and disappointed is an understatement. Has anyone ever heard of this before? I did not think a University would do this and would make sure they had enough graduation days/dates for all their students. The students have paid tens of thousands in fees and slogged for three years to be denied the chance to get their degree in a ceremony with their family watching.

Is there anyone out there with any advice? maybe someone who works at a University? I'm tempted to go to the local paper and tell the story so other students know what to expect at this University. Students should be told when they are choosing the University that they are not guaranteed a graduation.

Thanks for reading

That is incredibly bad form for the institution - as they have essentially under-provided space for graduation.

Personally, I'd be tempted to name and shame.

Yes they do.

One of (many) points the OP seems to think doesn’t apply to her daughter.

Rather after (her daughter) failing to tell the university (having ignored emails to do so) that she wantedto attend the summer graduation ceremony the response is to blame the university.

This is also after communication (on Facebook) with the university who have explained the situation and offered alternatives.

The fact is that the OP’s daughter didn’t register her intention to attend the ceremony when asked to do so.

Now the OP is directing her (and her child’s) disappointment at the university when it’s a situation entirely of the child’s own making.

It is hard to grasp that there is not everyone is allowed to go to their own graduation ceremony.

That is hard to grasp .

It shouldn't be first come first served though. All the students should have the opportunity to attend the graduation ceremony as long as the notify the university by a reasonable deadline.

FFS everybody gets to graduate, but there are only a limited number of spaces for any ceremony, the first 280 or so to apply get the day they chose, if they need to they put on more ceremonies, if you don't say you want to attend, then change your mind you get allocated the next available, which in this case is November. What is so difficult to understand. Part of the attraction is that it is held in The Great Hall rather than the west stand at Preston North End FC.

Not read all the replies but have read your posts. I work at a University and am shocked at this. An absolute disgrace! One of the surveys that has a big impact on Universities is the NSS - but I think that’s already happened so might not be an option. She could post in the student room or other places about it but I doubt it would make a big impact. Do they have a complaints process?

Could it be that they offered the tickets out and then didn’t get enough of a response in what they deemed a timely manner, so they started offering the tickets out to others? eg everyone is assigned two tickets in theory and then if some students families aren’t interested in attending then they start offering 3rd and 4th tickets to those who replied to allow sibling or BFs / GFs etc to attend?

Just a semi guess based on something kind of similar that happened with my son, my ex got a ticket and she got a ticket for my daughter, then a week later I got asked by my son (he spends one week with me and one with his mum, alternating) so at that point I was told I would be in a second hall and would get to watch it all on the big screen, and was put on a wait list to be in the main hall to watch it “In Person”

Luckily I got to watch it live & in person 🙏🏽

But if I hadn’t replied within a week later I dread to think I might have been told that I can’t come at all!. 🤷🏽‍♂️

But you could register your intention till the cows come home, if all 800 spots are filled by 260 graduants + guests at 8am on the morning you register your intention, 400 or 500 students potentially end up on a waitlist.🙄., and a waitlist is shit in anyone’s books.

I understand posters with kids at the university feel a bit patriotic about it, and don’t like the questioning and criticism, but it really is a dreadful system and there must be a way to facilitate all the graduants who want to attend.

This is completely unacceptable OP and such a blow. She deserves a graduation at the right time with her friends. It’s so important and you deserve to celebrate her. The university is completely out of order. This is such a disappointment.
This may already have been covered but in case it hasn’t, the local paper will be v interested in this story and will run it with a photo of your daughter. But this will be a big part of your daughter’s digital footprint and will follow her around forever. If she is applying for jobs, employers will Google her and this will be the first thing that comes up because of the ranking power of newspapers. They may see her as a troublemaker or someone with a grievance. I’m a journalist and an employer but I would resist employing someone with this in their past unless they have really great skills. I would think it wasn’t a good cultural fit with our organisation. Be careful that in venting your frustration or expressing your disappointment you don't disadvantage her.

Ffs what is so hard to understand?

They ask students around (from
memory) around Feb/march if they intend to come to graduation so the uni can schedule enough capacity for those interested to attend.

If hypothetically everyone says “yes” they schedule more dates to meet demand.

If you respond after that date (and very late after in the case of the OP) and the events have already been scheduled then you have to accept what’s left on offer.

That doesn’t mean you don’t get to attend a graduation ceremony- it just means you it’s not guaranteed (and likely you won’t) the date you preferred.

A complaint about what, they sent me the information I ignored it and have to suffer the consequences, don't see that one being a runner.

Sorry to hear of this. The ceremony itself is an hour of queuing for robes and getting robed then an hour or more of watching people you don't know graduate and waiting for your turn / those you do know. When they issue the tickets usually put restrictions on how many guests can come to avoid exactly this.

You can probably get the robes etc and join friends for the rest of the celebrations. TBH on the day I expect there will be some who are ill etc and not able to attend so she may be able to sneak in, but if she isnt on the list to graduate via official processes they wont read out her name. But usually the reception afterwards is separate and the social part - maybe she could just quietly slip into that if her friends can share the info. Best wishes

Why should guests of students who have done everything right suffer by only being allowed to have one guest each at their graduation to make room for students who don’t bother to do what they need to do in a timely manner?

We finally agree!

She did have the opportunity to graduate with her friends in the Great Hall.

She just ( unlike them) failed to tell the university that….

And they do.

This date works for the DD. Sadly not enough to have galvanised her to respond promptly.

So… she attends the second ceremony

Sweet Jesus

there is another ceremony. The DD can’t attend the specific date she wanted (but not enough to be motivated to respond promptly as my daughter and her friends did, and in fact the DD’s own friends did)

You are within your rights to complain about a service you are dissatisfied with. Even if they laid it out in writing that you might not be able to attend your own graduation ceremony from the outset (I doubt the daughter would have been made aware of this when she signed up for the course). They might not do anything about it but Universities should generally take the feedback to help improve things for future cohorts (at least mine does!).

But she can attend a graduation ceremony, just not the one she didn't apply for. If she can't manage something as simple as reading, understanding then replying to an email, is she somebody who should be getting a degree?

Additional info -

Large / Mega-Universities (Range: 8,500 - 15,000+ graduates)

• Examples: Institutions with massive distance-learning programs or those formed by large historic mergers (e.g., The Open University, Manchester Metropolitan University, University of Manchester).

this means if two parents attend per student that’s 30,000 parents.

Even if you split that into multiple days I’m not sure universities can accommodate that many parents.

Manchester—one of the largest single-site universities in the UK with over 40,000 students—traditionally holds its on-site ceremonies in the historic Whitworth Hall, which caps out at roughly 800 people depending on layout configurations. And that figure includes the students so we are talking 30,000 parents plus the 15,000 students = 45,000. So to accommodate that you need about 56 ceremonies. It’s not fair but it might help to understand?. 🤷🏽‍♂️

as I said before to not right nor fair.

You’ve been so patient! I gave up pages ago and have just been sitting back with the popcorn watching the car-crash of a thread unfold. Ironically, I KNOW my DD will be one who misses her peer group graduation date because AuDHD means she will absolutely not bother to respond to the relevant email, if she even clocks it in her inbox. But I accept this is a limitation of hers and can only try and nudge and remind when that time of year comes around. I won’t be blaming anyone but ourselves [well, her, very very gently].

Which they do. Some of them are in November.

They are so boring that the CIA have adopted it as a form of torture
Mortar-bording.
Have a party with family or go out somewhere lovely. What is important is to celebrate a wonderful achievement as a family.

Have I missed something? Op says all the other ceremonies are full. I appreciate she could attend in November or next year but I don't think that is good enough.

My DC was asked about graduation at a point where it was uncertain whether she would graduate this year / next year / sometime / never (disabled by chronic illness which varies massively in severity).

She booked, more in hope than expectation, and it now seems possible that she may graduate. I would not have blamed her at all, however, if she’d not had the capacity (or feared to tempt fate) to book.

Many universities-including some of our most prestigious- have graduation ceremonies long after the end of the summer term. November is well within the parameters for those universities.