DS14 no patience, no effort

[milkeyway]

Can I ask if anyone has successfully put in place strategies to help a very impatient short tempered and strong willed teenager to put in a bit more effort at school. He is bright but just flies off the handle at everything and doesn’t bother to do more than the bare minimum and is doing very badly despite high target grades. Constantly argues and battles basic rules. If your child has SEN what is suggested to help apart from extra time at school and medication- I ask that because his issues feel like SEN but I don’t want to go down the route of labelling and special measures at school as my gut says it’s just his personality and having a diagnosis wouldn’t help the situation.

I’d love to hear some of the advice you receive. My son is AuDHD and is on medication for the ADHD, which has helped somewhat, but he’s still disinterested in school. He just sees it as an aid to his social life. He is on track to pass GCSE’s, but I know he could do better with a little bit of effort.
I think that is his personality, I don’t know how you can make someone interested if they’re not.

Do the school / SENDCO think SEN could be at play here? If SEN it’s not something that suddenly occurs - if autistic then that individual has always been autistic, even as a young child. You can mask but alongside that comes meltdowns and shutdowns.

If personality, then you’d need to consider what adverse conditions your DS has encountered growing up: trauma? Family relationships etc

When you talk to him, does he tell you how he is feeling over school? Is work pitched at the right level? Friendship issues? Is he secure in himself as a person or is he struggling on a personal level?

I ask that because his issues feel like SEN but I don’t want to go down the route of labelling and special measures at school as my gut says it’s just his personality and having a diagnosis wouldn’t help the situation. If it could be SEN, it should be ruled in or out really.

Thanks for replying. Nothing adverse- happy childhood and no trauma that I’m aware of. Lots of friends, sporty and very independent. SEN has never been mentioned by school. He’s always been low level disruptive in class and low marks or behaviour aren’t his fault, always someone elses. He doesn’t say he finds school work hard, but does sometimes say he’s dumb. My question about SEN is that in response to these posts people always say- oh they sound SEN/neurodivergent, get them checked out, but what I want to know is once they are diagnosed, what advice are you given on what to change as a result? Or is that it - they have SEN so they just get extra time and special resources at school?

Thank you - what do you think that would mean for him- how would it help?