Feel losing way with ds1 - 7 at school and home. Any Y2 teachers out there?

[niceglasses]

Ds1 is 8 at Christmas. He is bright, but we seem to have stumbled or hit a glitch. Previously happy to go to schl he is now crying and tearful or alternatively rude and feigning illness.

Have talked to teacher who is very nice and says he is a lovely lad but needs to calm down/concentrate and that some other adults have commented that he can be a bit rude/silly. That really upset me, though I know he can be!His writing is a mess and she hinted that this had brought him down in SATS though she wasn't overly worried - numeracy better.

He says schl is boring/learning is boring.

His behaviour worries me. I feel I am somehow not handling it well - I don't want to push him but I don't want him to become totall uninterested.

I know this is woolly but I don't know how to help him - any tips?

Have you thought about asking the school for a home/school book where they can let you know how each day goes? That way you, and the school, can pin point where he is going 'off the boil'

Can they break down larger tasks into smaller bite sized chunks so that he doesn't get 'lost'?

Re his handwriting, have a look at 'Write from the start' which you can get on amazon.....this was suggested for ds by the ed psych when he was diagnosed with dyspraxia.....not sayig that your son has this, but the scheme 'works' regardless of the reson for the poor handwriting, it is a series of graded exercises, easy to do one a day in 5 minutes or so, and they really helped ds

re the rudeness...I'd jump on that quickly, or it is the sort of thing that can escalate.

While being very supportive of the other issues, I sort this out asap

It sounds like he is worried about his own performance. Should someone maybe look a bit more at his writing? Does he find it difficult to hold a pen? Many boys are let down by their fine motor skills in the early years. Maths often comes easier because you it can be done partly in your head. What does he look like to you? Is he clumsy?

It is also worth prodding to see if there is any bullying going on, but from what you tell me it sounds more like performance angst. My ds has needed quite a bit of support with writing and it has made a big difference.

Thanks MB - yes I agree - of all the comments it was the rudeness that hurt me most - I hate it! And I know I have to look at myself for that one - not that I'm rude - at least I don't think so - but I have let him get away with too much. Urggh it brings up all sorts of issues. I recently went back to work and he is being partly looked after by a neighbour after schl whose boys are lovely but troublesome.........

Am seeing teacher again on Monday.

Will order book and thanks for replying

Some of that as well Cory yes - he often says 'he gets the hardest work' (I don't think he does) and he is scared of getting things wrong.

THis is very common among boys, I have found. They want to be the best, are highly competative, and when they are not the best, they find it hard to cope. Many switch off and decide that it is 'boring', which gives them an 'excuse' for not trying.

I think that you, and the school have to work on getting him to see that school isn't about competing with others but woth yourself. So soft rewards for improving on his concentration skills and handwriting.....a pack of match attack cards, or whatever.

and the school needs to realise that he isn't going to have a chat with you and suddenly be able to concentrate for all of a 35 minute lesson! They need to 'chunk' the work for him, and give him feedback at short intervals, 'Yes, that is a good start, now can you do X. Fabntastic! you've done X, what can you do next?' that sort of thing

Talk to his teacher and try to work out a strategy for helping him with times when he finds it difficult to concentrate. Maybe moving himself to a different seat away from someone who distracts him. It maybe that he just does not respond well to this teachers style of teaching, how long is he expected to sit on the carpet at the start of the lesson? Is she the sort of teacher who encourages active learning? Are there lots of opportunities to learn by doing 'hands on' learning? This sort of approach to learning is often more successful with boys or those who find it a bit harder to sit still in the classroom.

Or course, there are times when he has to sit still and listen. His teacher should be able to come up with a strategy for helping him to do this.I would personally be quite firm about the rudeness. As obviously, people will be less inclined to help him if he is not polite to them.

Try not to worry too much. Most children go through a 'sticky' patch in their education at some point. It is how you and his teacher work together to handle it that counts.

Very useful, thank you.

He's a very wriggly little boy - I have had this from day 1. He finds it impossible to sit still, even to eat. They have worked hard at the schl to get him to sit for longer - on the carpet etc- and they say this has improved. I think he finds the whole idea of sitting and working odd.

can you get him, and will they let him use one of those managers stress ball thingies that he can fiddle with? This works with some of my (much older) fidgets

Stress ball thingies can work really well.

Ds1 tells me the gist of another little girls story. 'Mrs Blah was happy today because all the children were good. EVEN [insert name of my child was good'.

Sigh.