Accepting prep school scholarship for KS1 child or staying local primary?

[Feelingstressedbutdoingmybest]

Good morning, I wondered if anyone could offer some helpful advice. My oldest DC (key stage 1) has been offered a substantial scholarship and bursary at a local prep school. He's academically gifted (for his age, I know children develop at different rates and others may catch up further down the line). Emotionally a bit immature/sensitive, struggles a little socially, but not hugely.

I am really torn about whether a move would be the right thing to do for him. Here are the pros and cons I can think of.

Pros

• Smaller classes with more academic and pastoral support
• More academic challenge including foreign and classical languages and much better maths
• Better facilities
• Better sport, music, drama and lots of extra-curricular
• I think child would be happier at the school and better suited to it.

Cons

• I think there's a lot to be said for being part of your local community and being able to walk to school
• Learning alongside a greater range of children from all different backgrounds is better preparation for life
• Having local friends compared to having to drive all over the county for playdates and parties
• DC has a sibling and I'm worried about lack of parity/complexities of two school runs
• Possibility of not fitting in socially at the prep school
• Extra financial pressures of uniform, trips, etc.
• May be harder for him to re-enter state sector later down the line

As you can see, I'm slightly leaning towards staying in the local primary, but it seems like such an amazing opportunity to throw away.

Thank you.

We turned down the top scholarship to an outstanding prep for my similar sounding child. He was very bright and significantly ahead of his peers at state primary and the prep head told me I "had a duty to send him" to allow him to reach his full potential. We have four children and I felt very strongly that we needed to send all of them or none...so we agonised and in the end turned it down. We used the money for all of the extras and holidays and sporting opportunities etc that would not have been possible with four in private school. All four went to outstanding grammars and have done really well - the scholarship child has just finished his masters at Cambridge....so it did work out!

Would you then have to navigate secondary private scholarships and bursaries? Would you send both of them privately or only if your second child got a scholarship - how would that affect the sibling relationship? These were things that made us turn it down for the eldest - I know of families where the boys were sent to private school but the girls weren't and it's caused big issues in later life.

(DH and I were both privately educated all the way through and I was worried we were letting ours down by going state - but my parents were adamant that the fee treadmill is hideous if you don't need to be on it...or can be on it without worrying about it; we certainly weren't in that sort of financial universe!)

It is all down to the schools involved. I left state primary in what is now year 3 to take up a full scholarship place at a private prep. It was the best school experience anyone could ever wish for. Small classes, subject teachers for everything, lovely facilities and very nurturing. The primary I left was not nice at all. So main thing is to really find out what the school is like from some people with experience of it.
My private secondary experience wasn’t as good though. State secondary would have been better in the right school. You don’t have to continue to private secondary or be looking to get a grammar place. It could just be to enjoy a lovely primary / prep school experience with more opportunities.

I would move him

Thank you for your comments. I'm such an indecisive person at the best of times!

There will be subject teaching at the prep. My DD loved the art and drama available. Others loved the sport and music. Everything linked to these subjects was at a much higher level than a state school could manage. Would he enjoy sn enhanced curriculum?

What school do you want next? Is it starting at age 13? What would he do for the 2 years between state and a senior school. What do you envisage for him? How will you prep for exams at 11 or 13? Or is the local comp the one you want? Can he walk to that and are the dc there the ones you like? Is it a good secondary or not?

We live in a village with no school. Dc could not walk to school - too far and unsafe. My dc were not deprived.