Boys school for a feminine boy?

[ArcanaQueen]

We were unexpectedly allocated a boys secondary school on last week!s state school offer day. Please tell me your experience of boys schools and how a boy who is not sporty but very shy and into, for example, design, crochet, singing, and is academic would fare there? He’s also autistic, and on the SEND front I hear very good things about the school. But he’s tended to be friends with girls more than boys and so I worry about whether he would thrive there. He doesn’t have an EHCP.

I have no direct experience with an all boys school but my guess would be that he will still find his tribe. There will be others who are not sporty and are interested in creative activities for him to gravitate towards.

Yes. Boys are creative and fun. Not all boys are sporty and confident. He will find boys like him.

He’ll find his niche - he won’t be the only “feminine” boy who’s been allocated there!

Thank you, yes, that makes sense. I've just been to look around the school. Not a great deal of diversity, I would say. And interestingly, it was very calm and orderly, very strictly run. Everyone lines up in silence to go into each lesson and has their uniform inspected on the way in!

My very similar boy found his tribe at his boys school, joining the school choir helped. Although I should mention he's at a grammar school so they are all academic.

Is it selective or non-selective? We have several state non-selective boys schools near us and there’s no way a boy like your son wouldn’t be bullied at them. Selective schools have different types of boys attending so might be better. But there’s no way I’d send a feminine boy to a non-selective state boys school.

Are there any clubs that he'd be interested in? If so, he'll find friends with similar interests there.

@pottylolly It's non-selective. And yesterday his primary headteacher expressed concern to me about how he'd fare there in terms of the culture, although she admitted she was familiar with the school a longer time ago, before the current head was in place (who has improved behaviour, though of course bullying will still happen).

I remember being shown around a very famous single sex public school (traditional full boarding) where, in the arts and crafts room, groups of boys were huddled over sewing machines making theatre costumes in their free time. In similar schools singing is a priority - in both curricular and extra-curricular time. And you might be falling over harpsichords in every corner.

So those are examples of what a boys’ school might aspire to or achieve. All you can do is ask questions and find out - from this particular school. What sort of ethos and culture is nurtured by the school leadership?

@MsAlignment
Yes, this that's a great point. I was a bit disappointed that the main ethos and achievement emphasised several times by the headteacher was keeping order and calm. Yes, those things can facilitate learning, but it seemed a very tightly controlled environment possibly at the expense of creativity.

To clarify, it's a non-selective, big comprehensive school.

he’s tended to be friends with girls more than boys

Exclusively, or mostly? Because DD's best (male, gay) friend left a boys' school and didn't find his people there. He only really has girl friends.

I think more likely to find tribe as boys schools cater well for all types boys. Mixed can end up with boys trying to be stereotypes. Rarely a boy in the choir etc