Single-sex education today?

[exhaustDAD]

As I was standing outside the gate for school pick-up today, a fellow parent initiated a classic idle chit-chat. No harm, business as usual. At one point the topic went from weather, half-term, work and holidays to our children finding out with schools they will continue their education in next week. Fair enough, exciting times. But then he in a really odd manner looked around to see if anyone else would be listening in the conversation and whispered that he is planning to have his son go to an all-boy school, because girls are brutal now. And his reasoning just seemed so hard for me to understand - It is not for me to know what's best for everyone's kid, but he was talking about how the boy is awkward around girls, easily distracted, and he is hoping this would solve it.

I don't know what you - the reader of this thread - think, but to me it seemed like the absolute worst solution. Locking the boy up with only boys, having no interaction with girls his age will surely make him miss out on some evolution of communication skills when it comes to girls...

I don't know if I hurt anyone's feelings with what I am about to say - But I think same-sex schools are very outdated and I think it makes the kids miss out on being prepared for real life... Young men and women will be mixed in every aspect of their lives, further education, work, communal spaces, travels, you name it. I find it very backwards. I knew two people my age personally (one man, one woman, they don't know each other) who came from same-sex schools, and the guy was truly on the level of a teenager when it came to women (our coworkers), for example. The woman was more adjusted, but she openly talked about how much work it was for her to catch up with the world.
Back in the day, when my kids were in nursery, there was a dad who was very adamant that his daughter will only go to an all-girl school, because he doesn't trust boys. That, I feel, is also such a bad motivation.

I don't know, is there something I am not seeing, some invisible positive side?

I’ll admit I’ve never looked into it properly, but don’t girls do better (academically speaking) in single sex schools?

My mum, a secondary school teacher in a mixed sex school, was firmly anti single sex schools until maybe the last 10 yrs when she became strongly in favour of them to save girls from having to deal with the sexual harassment she saw.

I completely understand why people have strong feelings about this, but I think the idea that single-sex schools are “outdated” or socially damaging is a bit simplistic.

My daughters are at a girls’ school and it has been brilliant for them. Not because we “don’t trust boys” or think girls can’t cope in the real world but because the environment really suits how they learn and develop at this stage.

There are some genuine positives that often get overlooked:

Girls in single-sex schools are often more likely to take leadership roles because every position from sports captain to STEM club lead is filled by a girl.

Subjects like maths, physics and computing can feel less stereotyped when there isn’t a subtle gender dynamic in the room

Participation in class discussions can be higher because there’s less social self-consciousness during early adolescence.

That doesn’t mean co-ed schools aren’t great too , many absolutely are. But it’s not automatically “backwards” to choose single-sex. Different children thrive in different environments.

As for the argument that they won’t learn how to interact with the opposite sex ans school is only one part of a child’s world. They have siblings, cousins, sports clubs, neighbourhood friends, music groups, social activities, most single sex schools have activities with opposite sex schools locak to them … It’s not as if they’re living in a monastery. Real-world socialisation doesn’t stop at the school gate.

And honestly, saying someone seemed immature with women because he went to a boys’ school feels a bit like blaming schooling for personality traits. Plenty of socially awkward adults went to co-ed schools too.

For some children, especially during the intense early teen years, removing one layer of social pressure can actually allow confidence to grow, which then makes mixed environments easier later, not harder.

It doesn’t have to be one size fits all. Co-ed works brilliantly for many families. Single-sex works brilliantly for others, for girls many academic studies show better outcomes. The key thing is whether the individual child is happy, confident and learning well.

That feels far more important than whether the uniform comes in trousers only or skirts only.

I will not pretend to know any statistics or facts around the academic achievements @CloakedInGucci , so I wouldn't know. Harassment is absolutely horrible, should not not happen at all... And I am not minimising anyone's experience who unfortunately had to endure it, but but in my head at least, separating them will only make a steeper divide, generate more frustrations and could create even more harm (in general) in the long run. At least, that's how it adds up in my head. The lady I know who comes from an all-girl school background said that people often think all-girl schools are more gentle and "pink" and calm, but she said she never seen such extreme bullying and toxic abuse like the ones she experienced in her school. She also said that many girls were so boy-hungry that they actively sprinted into situations where..uhm.. let's just say, their parents wouldn't be 100% proud of.
Even if I look at a potential academic upside, whether we look at grades, or specific achievements, I'd pick for my children to be more adjusted when it comes to communicating with both men and women later, rather than me being chuffed about some immaculate piece of paper. But again, I am very much not in the know...

Very good points there @AndreaKnowsBest ! Honestly, great to read these.

The guy i referred to (the one who came from an all-boy school), admittedly developed an infatuation with girls back in his school, where he and his mates imagined what it would be like to go to a mixed school, and he actually used to go therapy for this. He couldn't help himself but to be this caricature of a - well - a teenage boy lead by hormones. And who knows, he might still be that way if he was in a mixed school, for sure

i think single sex schools are wonderful tbh. I think girl and boys thrive in environments where they can have 100% of the resources dedicated to their different needs. I think they can mix outside of school but honestly seeing my children thrive in single sex environments I don’t regret my choice at all.

Since others have shared their one-sided views, I suppose I’ll add mine as well.

I have found this discussion really interesting, as it has made me reflect on how much our own education shapes the way we think about our children’s schooling. My daughter has just chosen a co-ed over a girls’ school, and I suspect that is partly influenced by my own background. I was educated in international schools, where co-education was a default.

Looking back, I am grateful that I grew up studying and debating alongside boys. It broadened my perspective, helped me understand different ways of thinking, and I do believe I am a more rounded person because of that experience.

The thing is, the world our children are growing up into will be very different from the one we knew, in ways that are both exciting and at times unsettling. In that context, I do not think grades or even particular skills will be the most valuable currency. It will be their ability to relate to others, to collaborate, and to move comfortably between different kinds of people and perspectives. If education were only about academic results or technical skills, there would increasingly be less need for schools as physical communities. School should be where they prepare for a more complex and interconnected world, socially as well as intellectually.

Spending those formative years in a single-sex bubble, particularly within a single-sex private school, does not, for our family at least, feel like the best preparation for that future.

When people say that children can mix socially outside school, I think that misses the point. It is not simply about socialising. It is about learning to work together, to disagree constructively, to share ideas and to support one another. The opposite sex is not only someone you date or hang out with. They are classmates, teammates, colleagues and friends. Learning how to navigate those relationships day to day is a skill best developed early, within the structured environment of school before they step fully into wider society. Just my very personal opinion and don’t need anyone to agree with me :)

Fair play PP, your co-ed experience clearly did you good, and it's ace that your DD picked what suits her.

But I'm solidly team single-sex for girls, and the evidence stacks up big time for why it's often better during those teen years.

Quick hits from recent stuff: UK data (like FFT Datalab 2024 and GSA reports up to 2025) shows girls in all-girls schools get a real boost, around 16% higher GCSE grades on average (even after adjusting for background), especially in maths, physics, chem, and computing.

Girls smash top grades in sciences way more often (e.g., 67% grade 7+ in physics vs 43% in co-ed).

Swiss natural experiments and other studies also back this up: no boys in the room means less stereotype threat, so girls perform better in "male" subjects and feel way more confident in their maths abilities.

On the social side, yeah, mixed workplaces are the future, but school doesn't have to be the only place to learn boy-girl dynamics. Plenty of single-sex girls mix loads outside (clubs, sports, mates, events) and come out super confident leaders who speak up freely, take risks, and don't self-censor around boys.

That confidence carries straight into uni/work/relationships where they own the room instead of holding back. Teen years are rough enough with body image, peer pressure, and early romance stuff; a calmer, focused single-sex space helps build resilience first.

Co-ed can work fab for some, but for loads of us, single-sex gives girls the edge academically (esp STEM and sport) and emotionally without the daily distractions or subtle hierarchies. My DD's thriving, and the research explains exactly why. Horses for courses though no one's wrong, just different priorities! 😊

Single sex fan here too. Both DDs at secondary and one at single sex prep. Everything geared to them. No dressing for the boys! Suited them. Plus - they meet boys! Neighbours DSs, brothers of friends and school socials. Perfectly balanced teen years. I’m ok with boys schools too. I went to a co Ed grammar and my goodness me, there were some bits there who thought they were gods! Cannot see why girls need them!

We’ve put a boys’ school as first choice for DS (waiting to find out on Monday). I wanted a mixed school originally because he’s an only child with no girl cousins his own age and very boy-focused hobbies, and I didn’t want him to repeat my own experience at a single sex school. However, this school is the best one available to us so will make the best of it if we get it, and try to make sure he has a more balanced social experience than I did growing up (my parents were overly strict and I wasn’t allowed to go to parties etc so I literally never met any boys and it did screw me up a bit for later in life).

DH and I both went to single sex schools and enjoyed them.
Our kids went to mixed primary and prep schools. DD has found the girls social scene very tough and it seems boys bring some reality to the social scene though they take up a disproportionate amount of the teachers' time. My sister who has taught for 20+ years recommended single sex for DD but for her it would be very difficult we feel. Girls are pretty mean these days thanks to social media. For sixth form DD has a choice of single or mixed so we will see what she chooses.
DS meanwhile also went to mixed primary and prep from where he has friends who are girls. He then opted to go to a single sex senior school. He doesn't seem to be missing the girls and still has his girl friends from prep school.
I think it's horses for courses and there should be a choice.

Our top two preferences for DD’s secondary school are single sex. As others have said, there is strong evidence that girls do better in a single sex environment without disruption/distraction from boys. There is also a serious issue with sexual harassment in mixed sex schools. So many boys now regularly view violent, misogynistic porn and this is colouring their behaviour and attitude towards girls. https://committees.parliament.uk/committee/328/women-and-equalities-committee/news/196197/sexual-harassment-and-abuse-of-female-students-and-staff-a-serious-problem-in-education-find-mps/

My kids go to a comprehensive. I don't think the girls really spoke to any boys at all until at least 5 th year. They often complained the boys were disruptive. I think they would have liked a girls' school. They have have good social skills with boys through hobbies.

Both my ds go to all boys. It was the best school in the area. By preference I wanted them to go to co-ed Catholic grammar but there isn't one so all boys it is.

Turns out I needn't have worried about lack of girls DS1 is 15 and girl crazy. Spends lots of time socialising with girls and not just the ones who are at the all girls partner to his school.

Definitely works well to be at a school focused on the needs of one sex. Also all roles have to be filled by boys so you don't get for example an all girls choir, the boys have to sing too.

Im in Ireland where single sex schools are still very common. However almost all the boys secondaries locally have gone coed recently. There is only 1 left from 3. There are still 3 girls secondaries however. And 3 coed. Single sex for boys seems to be dying off here.
DS was in an all boys primary from year 3 equivalent and it was wonderful for him. No stereotype issues over art, dance and English, previously he considered all those "girl things". Removing the girls let him explore and learn better. He's in a coed secondary now, though.

I went co-ed and was very against single sex. However, my DD is now at an all girls secondary and thriving - honestly best decision for her (and was her decision). As pp said, all studies show single sex for girls is better and that is playing out well in our family. In her junior school, girls were being held accountable for the boys poor behaviour and expected to 'correct' boys behaviour - it happened so often and the teachers weren't even aware they were doing it. (Don't get me wrong, girls have poor behaviour too!)

In our case our DD commented in Y7 how much calmer lessons were, how girls could speak out, how many opportunities there are for girls, how it wasn't looked down on if you were 'smart', how teachers and girls could openly talk about girls specific problems and get support etc

We balance it by her extra curricular activities being co-ed and 'real world'. In fact her two best friends are both boys.

I used to assume that I would always prefer a co ed environment for my kids. I have two girls.
But now we are at the end of primary for our older child I have been horrified by the sexism that the girls have had to put up with from a small minority of the boys. It started very early with things like boys telling girls they weren’t allowed in the football area and kicking balls at them if they tried to join in. Further up the school there’s been horrible stuff in the classroom as well - boys trying to shame and silence girls who speak up in class, making bullying comments (subtly so teachers don’t hear) about female intelligence or the sound of female voices. Or boys taking over activities which are stereotypically male (science, DT) and saying “oh you can’t manage that so I’ll do it for you”.

DD has a lot of boy friends too and they are lovely kids whose company she really benefits from. I’m not at all suggesting that all boys are like this. But it only takes a few per class to have a huge impact on the girls’ confidence.

We have decided that DD will be going single sex for secondary. I can’t protect her indefinitely from the fact the world is sexist and she will be exposed to misogyny but I can at least try to minimise its impact on her formative years and education. I want her to feel she can put her hand up in class without worrying about being subjected to misogyny, and that she can pick up a screwdriver without immediately being undermined.

Both my dds went all girl and although dd is enjoying 6th form at the boys school which is mixed she’s repeatedly said how glad she was at a single sex school when younger as the boys take over.

Also a group of them have had to whistle blow on a group of boys doing a particular sport who are consistently misogynistic and vile to the girls. Hearteningly many of the normal boys have spoken up too.

The girls were rated daily - the girls the
group didn’t find attractive got the worst abuse. For literally just existing.

And this is precisely why I want my DD to go to a single sex school. Horrible little shits.

I went to an all girls school in the 00s, I had a mixed experience. I thrived in the single sex learning environment but it was very bitchy and clique (although it was a low level private school). I also remember the hideous school dances with our 'brother' school as forced mixing with the opposite sex.

The best schools in the area I grew up were single sex, so I never wanted to attend the local co ed (even if my parents encouraged it). Overall it was probably the best for my education and I did make good friends, so no regrets as I don't think I would have got the grades.

However, now I work in a male dominated team I do yearn for female company and they can get on my nerves at time, and I do attribute those feelings to my all girls education. But it's probably just an unlucky situation at work.m

Not going to lie, I can't even imagine how I would feel or deal with my sons if they behaved like that.. Their best friends are girls, and feel more at ease and like themselves playing with likeminded girls and boys. In their school there is one classic bully of a boy, and ironically, a girl version of that, too - tall, popular girl just making other girls' life miserable who are in any way different to her, who play with other things from her, etc. School is truly a minefield...

I think the important thing is choice, without people being judgy. I went to a single sex girls’ school and would not have done as well in a mixed environment as I was very quiet and shy, and undoubtedly (because friends went on to mixed sixth form so could compare) you really needed to hold your own against the boys as they are better at securing attention. Equally, my two sons went to co-ed. The older one is dyslexic and suffered bullying at the hands of girls who were quite waspish - he remained quiet to avoid attracting attention. The younger son thrives in that environment but the girls they know as friends are all outside school from cadets, sailing, or family friends’ daughters.

Why “ironically”? Or are only boys bullies? I went to a girls’ school and girls can be vile.

Not at all. I find it ironic that there is one from both girls and boys in the same year group. Like it was scripted.