Best age for kids to live abroad for a few years?

[Paperbear]

It's been a dream of mine to live abroad for a few years with the children. They are between 5 and 10 years of age and I just cannot figure out when the best to to go is. Some people say being in the uk when they are teens is better, others say teens get more out of it if they are traveling at that age. I've heard a parent say they think when they are toddlers is best. What is best? When did you live abroad and what age were your kids? I feel like if I don't make up my mind on this soon it may never happen out of being undecisive!

Before secondary- trying to transfer in and out of friendship groups at secondary is risky and I’d only do it if no choice.

Secondary school and A level (or IB) need to be stabble years but can be done abroad.

Not exam years.

if you are in the uk, generally between 14-18 is either gcse/a level prep or sitting exams. Most people go to a lot of effort not to move in those years, or if they have to they move after GCSEs but before a levels and pay for a British school abroad.

bear in mind some state systems in some countries (Middle East mostly but others as well) do not take expat children so you need to pay for private international school.

in other countries the state system is in the local language so unless your kids are totally fluent trying to drop them into eg the French secondary system is likely to be extremely difficult. So many people who go pay for private international schools again.

even in English speaking countries there can be significant differences in what is taught when and it’s not easy at all for kids to move between systems. The American system is very different to the UK system.

Honestly it depends on how things are going for them here.

If they are happy at school with good friends then I wouldn’t move abroad past the age of 8. A 9/10 year old or older will really resent being taken away from good friends.

If they are struggling then it’s a different story - nothing to lose.

Well, it’s easy for you to say it’s for ‘a few years’, but children don’t really have that way of conceiving of time. We moved DS internationally when he was seven, soon to be eight, and it wasn’t particularly easy or straightforward for him, despite him speaking the language and already having family members living there. It wouldn’t have been worth it for him ‘for a few years’. He’d only have settled in, made friends, settled into a new education system etc before we were at the point of leaving again. We’d always known we would stay put here until he’s left home.

I’m not saying don’t do it, just that ‘a few years’ is a long time in the life of a child. DH and I used to move around a lot before we had DS, and will again once he’s living independently, but not now.

A lot of embassy families here move every third year. It's a life style I suppose. Children seem happy and know how to roll the
international schools. The embassy children seem more grounded than a lot of other expats around here.

My ex was one of those and he’s a complete fuck up, as are his siblings. Just like forces kids, some are fine and others end up
quite damaged (I live in a military area and most of my friends are ex forces). If that’s your job it comes with the territory but I wouldn’t actively choose it for my child.

It’s somewhat location dependent but I’d say move for primary years and then settle for secondar- by year 9. Primary school friendships tend to be more fluid and solidify at secondary so it can be harder to just slot in. Also depends if you’re going to an expat hub like HK, Dubai or Singapore ( easier) or somewhere where there are few/ no other expats and they basically have to assimilate into the local community ( harder) and the there are places that are sort of in between like NY. Local or international school and language are other considerations.